I am a 16 year old girl and I am having a very difficult time living at home. I feel that im always ignored by my parents and that they treat me unfairly. I have an older brother and two younger sisters that also live in the house. My parents complain about me staying in my room all the time but whenever i come out and try to talk to the about something, they dont listen and look at me like im "retarded". I feel like im going insane. I have killer stress headaches all the time. I dont feel like im wanted there and that makes me want to move out even more. I just dont know what to do. I've had many thoughts of self-harm and suicide and i dont really want to do that but I cant stand living anymore. Somebody please help, any advice is appreciated!
2007-11-26 09:28:48 · 7 answers · asked by living life 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Okay look- just go with me on this for a second...
Just about everyone feels the way you do when they're your age. Maybe not all the time, but certainly sometimes.
Consider this, though- I feel this is a chemical thing. I am betting they will soon discover a 'leave the nest' chemical that gets released into your head to make you hate your parents and want to leave home.
It seems like these feelings come and go at varying levels of intensity. For me, it was like I couldn't do anything right. I'd just want to leave the house so I couldn't get in trouble for awhile. But, when I'd get in trouble, I'd get grounded, which meant I couldn't leave and I'd just keep getting in trouble.
So, I had to leave. College wasn't an option so I joined the military. I graduated HS in June, signed up in August, and was gone in December- never to return.
Your feelings are natural, no matter how unpleasant. The scary thing is that your parents probably haven't changed- It's you who wants things to be different.
So, try to chill, and work toward your independence. Get some job skills, solidify college plans (out of town!) , or look into military service options.
It's time to start preparing for life away from home. There's no need to want to do anything stupid to yourself- start working on the plan to support yourself, and when the time comes, you'll head out on your own with confidence and a plan.
Trust me- You get along a lot better with your parents once you don't have to live with them anymore. Especially if you're supprting yourself to do so!
2007-11-26 10:58:02 · answer #1 · answered by wrdsmth495 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your parent are a bit confused about the situation as well, talk to them and tell them how you are feeling. Every teenager goes through this kind of thing, so it's normal to feel out of place in the home or at school. If you feel isolated from your parents spend more time with people who see you as you are and who accept and love you, despite your flaws. Suicide and self-harm are not the answer for your problems, if anything they will escalate the problem and make you feel MORE isolated from your parents, family, and your peers. Do not do this to yourself. I know that it's stressful, but you need to realize that you have to make yourself happy and that no matter what, your happiness lies in your hands..not your parents or your peers, being happy is a choice. I know I sound like I'm just being mean, but that's not what I'm doing, I've been there..and done all of that..and I know it's not the answer. You will find the key to your own happiness, but you have to find it, no one can do it for you and no one can make you happy. Find happiness in yourself. Talking to your parents will really open both of y'alls eyes and make you see that you cannot avoid a situation..you must face it..and then choose to be happy..despite what everyone else does. Have confidence with what's inside.
2007-11-26 18:11:00 · answer #2 · answered by Becky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay... you are 16.
You are at an age where you should be fairly self-sufficient.
You can "move on" emotionally.
You can legally get a job after school to build your resume and your self-esteem. You can get involved in some clubs or extracurricular activities at school to make more friends.
You can make your circle of friends into your family and draw encouragement from them.
You can also talk to the school nurse or guidance counselor about your feelings and stress... they really can help.
You can choose to not take your family seriously... the parents are probably tied up just making ends meet and trying to manage the younger kids.
2007-11-26 17:48:22 · answer #3 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds very stressful. I honestly say ignore them when they complain that you spend too much time alone. Do your own thing. Read a book to destress. I know that sounds lame when you are 16, but it is the BEST way to destress. Some good books I can recommend are dean koontz novels. I love Harlem Coban, Tell No One. That is my fave. Dont worry or freak out when they ignore you.... just keep ignoring them. Sometimes when you feel ignored... its best to pull yourself in so you dont get hurt so much. The less you care about being ignored, the better. Its not an easy thing to do... but its kind of a self preservation tactic. I hope that helps. Good luck sweets.
2007-11-26 17:33:24 · answer #4 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to turn to God. If you don't have a relationship with Him, Get one! I am sure it is not as bad as you think. You need to pull your parents to the side and talk straight up to them. Don't ever think that life is so hard that you have to hurt or kill yourself. It is not. Some people crave more attention. And it is hard to devote attention to one child when you have 4. After talking to them try to engage in a hobby or an activity at school. But most of all, pray to God. He will help you through this time. You are a very important person in this world, don't throw it all away. Things will get better. God Bless
2007-11-26 17:36:23 · answer #5 · answered by Angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do this tonite when your parents are in there room go in and tell them you really need them to listen to what you got too say and how you feel.do you have any hobbies.like make your own clothes to keep you busy.drawing.friends, are you dating.do you go too the mall, go and do teenager stuff like go to the schools games.go and have fun.no drugs ,no sex, no drinking.if you stay in you room alot than go outside.how would you see your world.staying in your room is not good cuz you get bored you see the same things everyday.thats why your stressing.go and play with your sisters be there best friend so when they grow up they can say my sister is the best.
2007-11-26 18:06:00 · answer #6 · answered by thank u man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to then about it! they love u and maybe they have so much going on that they dont notice how they treat u
the best advice i can give is to just tell them how u feel..and tell them wut ud like to be treated like
2007-11-26 17:33:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋