Do you think I was being rude to or offended my cousin by what I did?

Question

Saturday evening, me, my inlaws and my husband were on our way home after dinner. My mother inlaw was driving and all of the sudden the car began to spin out of control. It turned around and around -- at least 5 or 6 times, leaned to the left and then plopped back down. It stopped on the grass next to the median and that's when we realized the tire had blown.

Anyway, my inlaws don't have roadside assistance and our roadside assistance will only cover our vehicles. I called one of my close cousins because I knew she had a roadside assistance. I explained the situation and told her my inlaw's vehicle was stranded on the highway. She did seem hesitant to say whether or not she'd let us use the services, but she said she'd check on it and call me back.

In the meantime I was trying to find other alternatives. Almost two and a half hours had passed, and she still hadn't called me back. I called her and she didn't answer. 30 mins. later she called back non-chalantly.

I gave her some small talk at first, then I asked her why she hadn't called me back. When she responded she didn't seem as if she was concerned at all. She said she thought I was going to call her back. I asked her how she thought that. She blew it off and asked if we got it taken care of.

Do you think it was that she didn't want my inlaw's the use the roadside assistance? Do you think she felt that since I was family I would be fine to use it, but not other people?

I don't get it ... I never ask her or anybody else for anything.

First of all Tmarie, my inlaws are 62 and 67. Both of them have medical problems and are diabetic. Second of all, we were on a busy interstate and had to pull off the road in the middle of the freeway and the service road, so the SUV was sitting side ways. Third of all, it was pitch black and raining. I would rather call and family member to help us out than to get killed trying to change a tire on the side of the road. No, I haven't a clue how to change a tire. My inlaws are somewhat disabled and too old, and like I said I didn't want my husband to get killed because of the situation.

Before you call me or any of my family members morons, ask more details about the situation. I think you're the moron.

Answer 1

I don't think you were being rude. You called for help and if she was not going to help you she should have just told you so. She left you hanging in a dangerous situation. I would check into having different road side assistance. We have AAA and it covers any car that I am in.

Answer 2

Your cousin was being a lunkhead. Whether or not she wanted you to use her roadside assistance is beside the point. Whatever her answer, the very least she should have done was call you back promptly. That way, you would have had a better idea whether to persue alternatives or not. (The face that you were already doing that in the meantime is irrelevant...as is the fact that the guys in the car weren't able to change the tire.)

You don't say if you ripped into her on the phone that night, but I'm kind of hoping you didn't. Even though she was being a thoughtless jerk, your main priority was to get the car fixed and get everybody home.

But you better believe that the next time you two encounter each other, either on the phone or in person, I would rip her out a new you-know-what. At the very least, you deserve an explanation.

As Ricky Riccardo would have said, "She got some 'splaining to do."

Answer 3

Cousin sounds like she was offended or didn't know what to do. It is a bit of a weird situation, don't know how I'd respond to that phone call.

In the future, anything related to elderly or fragile relatives, call 911. They will lend assistance, doesn't have to be a standard 911 call. For example, in my city, they will come for free and pick up a person who has fallen and "can't get up" to quote the old tv commercial. So in future, get relatives squared away, away from whatever (disabled vehicle in this instance) and then go back to figuring out what to do about vehicle.

Answer 4

There was clearly some miscommunication between you and your cousin about who was supposed to call whom, so it was unfair to blame her for it. Ultimately, since you have the need, it is your responsibility to make sure that need gets fulfilled; it is not her responsibility to make sure your need is taken care of.

Frankly, what you should have done is simply called your roadside assistance and had them come out to help you - it would be cheaper than calling a regular tow truck, and your in-laws could reimburse you. It was unsafe and needless to stay in the median for 2-3 hours.

I know the situation was frustrating, but that was because of the limitations you set, not because of anything your cousin did or did not do.

Also, your pre-emptive use of "morons" is rude - it sounds like you're calling ALL the readers of your post "morons", not just those who might be tempted to call you a moron first.

Answer 5

I think the only person who can answer your question is your cousin. I don't think you were being rude, you were stranded and needed help, so you called a family member; not exactly hard to see your logic in this one. I don't personally understand why she would be offended, but I don't understand why she wouldn't help you either. I've let people at work use my roadside assistance, so I definitely let family use it.

Answer 6

I don't think you were rude, however, you maybe should have explained to her that your roadside assistance wouldn't cover the car and if she would mind checking on hers. On the other hand, she should have called you back immediately upon finding out any information regarding the assistance. If I were you, I would have called her back sooner as well, she maybe thought it was taken care of since you didn't call back, if it was me I would have been calling the other person every minute.

I also agree with the poster above me, however, I won't call anyone names.

Answer 7

I dont think you were rude and I dont think your cousin was worng....simple fact is it is her choice.

Your husband could have changed the tire.....I understand your thinking about being killed if your in a bad neighborhood but on the side of the freeway.....I doubt he would have been killed. I think your over reacting about her behavior.....you'll have to confront her and be prepared for her answer.

Answer 8

You had TWO MEN in the car and none of you people could change a freakin' tire!!???!!?!?!?
What a bunch of maroons!!!
She doesn't owe you anything. Learn to change a freakin' tire!
You weren't "stranded"! You had FOUR people and at least one of them should have been able to change a freakin' tire!

** My mom was 65 years old, diabetic and had a hip replacement. SHE changed HER freakin' tire in the dark because she didn't believe that anyone should be catering to her.
I changed a tire when I was 8 months pregnant because I didn't have a cell phone. You and your husband are big pusses for not getting off your assses and changing that tire for those people. So, what, it was raining. "Pitch black"? I SERIOUSLY doubt that. Why didn't you call a garage? Cough up the cash, cheapskate!
Raining... So, you're gonna melt? She was right in not allowing lazy mooches to glom off her. I'd have told you to do it yourself or call garage.
Funny, it wasn't raining until you needed justification for sitting on you lazy butt and whining about a flat tire.