MOH troubles?

Question

MOH , has been giving troubles ever since she was asked to be a MOH ... she has a bit of a jelouse streak ....always a bridesmaid never a bride thing....so much so that other people see it and make comments. she has said such things to me as .don't order that food i don't like it, or your cake is OK , Oh you should pay for open bar ( when I explained the cost she said " well i guess i wont be drinking" when i showed her the flowers she would carry wich is a ball of roses she took the and told she was going to carry them down the asial like a bride. and gave me and example. then took it by the strap it hangs from and swung it around her head .. she told me I stole her flowers for the wedding she doesn't even have a boyfriend

with that being said I have been patient not said a word
Now she is pregnate with a random guy ( one night stand) she will now be 6.5 mth preggy by the time my wedding happens the bridesmaid dresses are strapless chiffon and short. believe it or not

she thinks this will look ok one her ..she wieghs180 lbs as of now. i can't imagin what she will wiegh when she hit 6mth. the original dress can't be altered , I can't find a maternity dress i like to match the others the ones i do find are expensive 250 and up ...and I don't want to change the original dresses because of her i am getting a good price of 70 each on them .

I am thinking of asking her to step down and maybe become a lady in waiting

I am jsut frustrated with this whole thing .. what or how should i do this

a lady in waiting still get to help with all the stuff but just not the dress part i figuared this would be nicer since the dresses are so expensive

Answer 1

Sounds like she shouldn't have anything to do with the wedding but its all because she is just jealous because your getting married and she's not type deal. But I agree I would ask her to step down and be the lady in waiting.

*explain it like: Your going to be 6 months pregent and your going to be tired and your horomones are going to be crazy at this point and I will understand if you will have to leave early because you are tired. I am trying to think of you and the baby and this position wont be as stressful. but you are still important and still have an important role this position gives you the options to leave when you feel you have to.

Answer 2

Okay you know what??? If you don't want her in the bridal party because she has been a complete lunatic that is fine...just have the guts to tell her that she is causing too much stress for you as a MOH.

Don't use her pregnancy as an excuse to kick her out. I weighed 180 when I got pregnant and I only gained 10 lbs by the time I was 6.5 months pregnant...so you don't know how much weight she will gain by then, or if she will or will not fit into the dress. If she is willing to buy the new dress you like, then let her.

I think you should just be honest with her about her behavior and tell her if she can't keep her trap shut then you are going to ask her to step out of the bridal party. Don't use the whole "I am just concerned about your health and the baby, I don't want you to be stressed out...blah blah blah." Most women by that time are fine.

Answer 3

In my opinion you should sit down and talk with her about her behavior. The pregnancy shouldn't be a problem because you could find a different dress in maternity since she would be the maid-of-honor it is typically for them to have a different style dress but you should not have to put up with that behavior. As a bride you will get more stressed as the day arrives and your maid-of-honor should be the one that helps you deal with stress, offers ideas on how to relax, maybe even take you shopping or somewhere for a day to get away from the wedding planning. It sounds like to me she forgot she was the maid-of-honor and thinks she is the bride. I wouldn't ask her to be in the wedding because she is one going to be offended about the pregnancy thing and two because she will still act like that and she may get worse. But, you probably should tell her soon because as she gets furthur along her hormones will start acting up and she just won't understand and then you have have another big mess. I would just be honest. i hope everything works out okay!

Answer 4

I'm not going to take sides, but if you decide you still want her as a maid of honor, you could always have her wear a different dress than your bridesmaids. I've been to weddings and been in weddings where the bride did this. If they all carry the same flowers, it is still very cohesive.

Answer 5

I think you answered your own question. If the dress will not fit and you can't choose another dress, then obviously she will need a different role. I think having her be a lady in waiting is a good idea.
Try not to let her attitude bother you, but if it gets a bit much I would let her know that you are being supportive of her and she should do the same!

Good luck!

Answer 6

A MOH is your dearest friend. Doesn't sound like she is. Being pregnant shouldn't be a worry to anyone. But if she isn't there for you 100%, then you need to find someone who is. She needs to be supportive of your wedding and your relationship. MOH is a really important job to pull a wedding together. Good luck!

Answer 7

I would sit her down and talk to her and let her know all of the thoughts that you are having. She might want to step down now that she is prego. She will be starting a new chapter in her life and may not have all the time that a MOH should have.

Answer 8

In my opinion: wait for her next hissy fit and then tell her that she's out of the wedding party because she;s causing you too much stress. Tell her that she's welcomed as a guest.

Good luck

Answer 9

Ask her to step aside, and ask somebody else to be you MOH. Your MOH should be there for you no matter what, and support you. Its your day, not hers. Good Luck and Congrats.

Answer 10

"it sounds like you will be under a lot of stress and strapped for cahs b/c if the baby. i don't mind if you can't be in the wedding"

or do anything you have to, to get out of this.