What are some of the fundamental views of FSM?

Question

I's have searched long and hard, and at last I am willing to accept the Noodly One into my heart. What kind of philosophies hath the Noodly One layed down so far? I have faith in the correlation between global warming and pirates, but what else?

Answer 1

you cant eat pasta on a tuesday

oh, and we are all made from flour, milk and egg, lke the great noodly one himself.

Answer 2

The five not so much pillars as old rickety support beams of FSM:

1) There is one God, and it is made of pasta. (How can a monster be a he or a she, come on, it's a monster, for cryin' out loud!)

2) FSM with His Noodly Appendage created the world starting with a mountain, a tree and a midgit.

3) FSM purposely tricks us (for example, by messing up our Carbon-dating instruments) into believing in two evil secular theories, evolution and gravity. True pastafarians only support Creationism and Intelligent Falling.

4) The global warming has been caused by a drop in the pirate population. (Note, this refers only to those Carribean parrot-wearing har-har types. The numerous modern-day pirates and pirate ships off the coast of Indonesia do not really count.) Friday is a holiday and a dress-like-a-pirate day. Come on, how can you say no to such a religion?

5) When you die everyone goes to heaven. In heaven there is a beer volcano and a stripper factory.

This is more than a suitable introduction. Everything else you can find on the official FSM site whose link I am too lazy to post.

Edit: Apparently Marble VT is a member of the NON-universalist branch of FSM. As such I have no choice but to proclaim her to be a heretic and hunt her down... hmm, except she ends up in heaven just like everyone else... this sucks... I'm leaving FSM! BOOOO!!!!!!!

Answer 3

I would have preferred a FTM rather than a FSM because he would be spiritually much more organic . The making of spaghetti requires the use of a machine and dies whereas tagliatelle can be made using the classic method of
Make a mound of flour
make a well in it
drop the eggs into the well
use a fork to incorporate and make a dough
let rest
using a sawed off broom stick
Roll the dough out into a thin rectangle
Roll that into a cylinder
using a sharp knife cut the cylinder into ribbons of tagliatelle

Answer 4

To form a cult. Y'know like all the other more popular ones.

Villard is paying an $80,000 advance to the creator of a religion designed to make fun of intelligent design. This summer, Bobby Henderson, 25, an unemployed slot-machine engineer, posted a much-forwarded open letter to the Kansas State Board of Education declaring that “there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design” on his Website. He contends that a huge, invisible beast made of spaghetti and meatballs created the world about 4,000 years ago (pasta of that vintage has been found in China, he points out). The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, which will codify Pastafarianism, is set to come out on Valentine’s Day. “My hope is that readers won’t know if I’m trying to make a point about pseudoscience or if I’m a complete nut,” says Henderson. “I’ll be really disappointed if it doesn’t spawn a cult.”

Answer 5

unintelligent design. FSM got drunk and created the universe.

There are the 8 i really rather you didn't (aka the 8 condiments) 2 were dropped and that's why we have such flimsy morals.

Heaven consists of beer volcanoes and stripper factories, (both male stripper factories and female stripper factories) Hell is the same except for the beer is flat and the strippers have VD.

And Friday is the holy day, you should speak to you employer about that.


Ramen!

Answer 6

do you have the book? you have to, like, get the book. and read it. and stuff.

Answer 7

remember you asked...its a stupid waste of time and effort...REAL CONVERSION CAN SAVE US....REPent..