When you hear that someone has lost someone important in their life, it's common practice to say "I'm sorry." But, then that person is often expected to say "It's okay," or "It's alright," in return..
..When in fact, it NEVER will be okay, or alright.
Because of that, I don't ever say "I'm sorry" when I hear of someone that dies.
But everyone I know, does say that.
What do *you* say?
2007-11-26 07:52:36 · 15 answers · asked by [[Princess For The Day]] 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
It's not as if I ignore them. I instead say "You have my condolences," or something to that extent.
2007-11-26 08:00:19 · update #1
I've lost both of my parents and a spouse... I tell them I have a good idea what it feels like... and that my heart is with them.
2007-11-26 13:23:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are right, there is nothing you can say to undo the deed but you can be there for them.
When I have that very difficult task, and I've had it more than a dozen times this year, I try to make eye contact and I sincerely tell them that "I am very sorry for their loss and while there is nothing I can say to change it, I do care very much and I wish them the best. "
If I am close to them I assist with chores and the like and then in about two weeks I check back with them. That's about how long it takes for the shock to wear off and they are ready to talk. (Ironically, that is when most people "give" up and move on.)
Peace.
EDIT: Universal Pants, I knew about the parents, didn't know about the spouse. I'm so sorry for you. Peace.
2007-11-26 13:31:58 · answer #2 · answered by -Tequila17 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I normally say "Sorry to hear about your loss" in order to let them know I know how they feel. You're right, it will never be okay or alright and I don't expect that type of answer. I guess most say it because they really don't know what else to say.
Heathen
2007-11-26 07:59:56 · answer #3 · answered by River 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I say, "My condolences for your loss of a loved one.". It expresses my sympathy, my support for them during their grieving period without expressing an apology. Nor does it require a response from the bereaved.
BB,
Raji the Green Witch
2007-11-26 13:12:09 · answer #4 · answered by Raji the Green Witch 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If it is a friend, i don't say anything, i just go put my arms around them, if it is someone that is just an acquaintance, i say, " I cannot begin to feel your pain, you have my greatest condolences"
2007-11-26 13:13:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Usually I give them a hug or a shoulder to cry on, tell them that I know how they feel, because I do, and that it WILL get better, though it may take some time.
2007-11-26 13:20:32 · answer #6 · answered by Megs 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't normally say anything. Nothing I can say can even begin to touch the depth of their grief, so why say anything? A hug is much more comforting than "I'm sorry".
2007-11-26 08:59:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
"You have my deepest sympathies" if it is someone I'm not as close to, or here on the internet. If it is someone I know well in real life I say nothing, I just hug them and let them cry and know they are loved.
2007-11-26 13:32:00 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My condolences. Sorry to hear about your friend or...
2007-11-26 08:01:20 · answer #9 · answered by Brewspy 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
When my mother died it didn't bother me when people said they were sorry. I know they meant they were sorry to see me suffer, sorry a good person had died, and there was no need to say it was alright.
2007-11-26 07:57:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋