i have a lil problem and idk what to do
my husband talks to this friend of his and they are pretty good friends but i dont like her and she dont like me for certain reasons...i told my husband about how i felt and im sure she has done the same about me but my problem is he spends all his time talking to her and he also hides there conversation from me and when i ask what they are talking about its always nothing so i let it go....but everytime im on the computer talking he right over my shoulder reading everything i say and when i tell him to stop he says im talking about him and gets very upset and im not and btw the only people i talk online is to my 2 sisters...idk how i should feel...i dont like this girl...she talks about me behind my back and ot my husbands face and he dosnt do anything and its starting to hurt my feeling and he knows it 2...any advice
we have also been married 4 months
2007-11-26 07:07:23 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sounds like he has a thing for this person. And he is worried because of his own guilt. He is trying to controling you because of his guilt. I would tell him how you feel. If he does not stop talking to this person, then they must be more important to him then you are. be aware and careful. married 12 years myself. Not a way to treat your partner.
2007-11-26 07:23:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you are having this serious problem, and it is VERY SERIOUS. You just don't know it yet.
Your husband is exhibiting signs of being very emotionally abusive toward you. Your husband should NOT be monitoring your conversations online. And he should NOT be having secretive conversations with other females.
Do you see the difference between his suspicions and yours? You are having conversations out in the open - and he can glance at the computer once or twice to calm his fears if he wants - but NOT MONITOR YOU. And HE is having conversations in private and not allowing you the opportunity to "glance" by hearing part of his convo.
Husbands and wives who have nothing to hide don't hide phone conversations, etc... Do you understand? He has something to hide and you don't.
The two of you should NEVER have gotten married until you knew you could trust each other. I once had a guy who had a female "friend" like that too. I did not ever trust him and I got tired of his close female "friend" and other female "friends" as well. I finally found out he was cheating on me.
Well, I never dated another man who had a close female "friend" again because I decided that there were enough guys out there that were NOT like that - so there was no reason I had to put up with it.
Again, it isn't about guys having female friends - someone they know and occassionally talk to and someone they have never banged. It is all about HOW and HOW OFTEN they interact with their female friends that matters (especially when you are engaged or married). If he talks to her constantly and he's having secretive conversations with her - you can bet that he is banging her, wants to bang her, is hoping to bang her, etc....
I would suggest you get a divorce and find yourself a man who is 100% into YOU and not into any other girl. It sucks, but the sooner you get divorced the sooner you will find real happiness.
Also, contact a domestic violence shelter near you and get some counseling for yourself so you know what to look out for in an unhealthy relationship (so you don't ever pick the wrong guy again). Your husband sounds controlling and paranoid.
I hope you gain the strength to get out of this marriage while you can.
PS: Your grammar in the first sentence should read "but I don't like her and she DOESN'T like me for certain reasons..." People who use "don't" improperly sound really stupid. Sorry, but they do.
2007-11-26 15:20:46 · answer #2 · answered by Dina K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband shouldn't be having opposite sex friends, and neither should you. He's probably cheating with her. That's probably why their conversations are soooooo private. He doesn't want you hearing one word about their encounters. My advice? Tell him to fess up. If he doesn't, you go ahead and hire a P.I.
2007-11-26 15:20:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to grow up and that this isn't high school. If he has to hide the relationship, then it's not on the up and up.
2007-11-26 15:11:47 · answer #4 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is hiding things from you cz now he feels you r doing the same thing.. that's why he looks at to wat u write... tell him his actions r ruining the trust between both of you and it hurts you ... specially when he is talking t this girl...b careful, she might want him... tell him if he wanted her then why did he marry you... you want to trust him not suspect him...he has to keep this trust
2007-11-26 15:25:03 · answer #5 · answered by NA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋