Paranoid, Insecure coworker?

Question

I work with a woman, well, two actually, that I am constantly getting into small issues with. The problem is that they're both insecure & paranoid. I don't really know why. They assume that everything I say...has a hidden meaning. It doesn't. What I say, is what I mean. We've all had a pow-wow about personalities & stuff, and have all agreed to work on how we deal with others. I have tried very hard on my end to understand my coworkers, but I don't think that they are doing the same, and so there continue to be problems. How do I handle a situation like this? We are not the same ethnicity...could this have something to do with it? I'm so confused and frustrated.

Answer 1

Maybe you should look more deeply at the way you say things. I know sometimes people say things more harshly than they intended. Sometimes you try to make a joke and it doesn't go over b/c the person is having a bad day.

It may be your facial expressions or the way you hold your arms that offends them. If your face is scowling while your words are trying to charm, it won't work. If you stand with your arms crossed, that creates a barrier between you and them.

Ask your friends and family if they have trouble with things you say not coming across the way you intended them to.

It probably is just them, but it never hurts to ask other people.

Answer 2

Isn't it more likely related to ASD? I mean, I ALWAYS feel isolated in the sense of not getting along well or being misunderstood by my peers, doesn't matter how old, what race, or what environment.
I am odd to them. From an outside perspective I am clearly driven, focused, and of a high level of anylitic thought, while at the same time with poor social skills. I can see how some might expect that I have hidden agenda's and complex meaning behind my words... but I do not. And most people are not used to having abstract ideas planely stated as though they should be common fact.
All you can really do is try to think positively about your situation, and about the future whenever you can. You will draw to you things that are in accordance to your thoughts and feelings you carry throughout your day.
No one can be aware of the tens of thousands of thoughts they have throughout the day. But these thoughts will lead your emotions, which in turn will give you an idea of what kind of thoughts you are having unconsciously. If you can "manipulate your emotions" through efforts of concious thought, you can tap into the unconscious and affect the whole of your reality.
If you believe in things getting better, they will. One way or another. Just believe. Have faith. Know that things are good now and only getting better. Everything happens for good reason. To teach, to align, to provide the means for the next situation... Appriciate the process, be thankful for life. The universe will hear you and bring to you all that you desire.

Answer 3

I don't see how ethnicity would have anything to do with this. If you're having a problem that's based on their paranoia, this is a supervisor/human resources issue. Ask for a mediation, keep track of the different incidents so that you can be specific (and help them to see exactly what your talking about so that they can make whatever changes are necessary).

Answer 4

All I can say is CYA, people like that will do their utmost to undermine you any way they can thinking they will increase the security of their own positions. Keep a log of your interactions with them. Otherwise, ignore thier behaviors, the more you feed them by noticing them the worse they will become.

Answer 5

not getting along has nothing to do with your race. every race has their share of jerks.

i would associate with these ladies as little as possible. remember u can't control others action but u can control your own.