Last month I received an invitation to dinner at our CEO's house for dinner. I couldn't make it because I had to work at my other job. (I work at the hospital on Wednesday evenings and they know this). Now they just sent me an invitation to their Holiday Party which of course is on Wednesday, December 12 and guess what? I have to work so I cannot attend. What do I say? I cannot help but think that they did this on purpose ever since I spoke up about my rights and feelings (in a positive and constructive way of course). I know one of my co-workers doesn't like me and I don't care, I don't like her either. What do I say when I email them back? I wanted to say "How ironic that another party falls on a Wednesday night.." (they know I have to work but will still use it against me probably for not showing up).
2007-11-26 05:37:30 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Unless you work at a very small company this may not have been done to snub you. Many companies do have the Christmas party during the week because weekends are so full with other family activities. Maybe it was a scheduled date for quite some time. Is it possible you could get someone to cover your other shift so that you could attend? You might realize it has nothing at all to do with your schedule and have fun. Whatever you decide have fun and enjoy yourself.
2007-11-26 05:49:37 · answer #1 · answered by feeona 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Never get huffy with someone as senior as a CEO. Merely say something like how you would love to make it but have prior obligations. The same way you refuse any other party or if you get multiple invites to New Years Eve parties. Not everyone goes to office holiday parties anyway. Most of my work functions barely get 50% attendance. Our office parties are picked by group polling. We ask everyone which works best Mon-Thurs. Most people don't like Monday b/c its so long and they have to pick up from the w/e. Many are leaving early and don't want Thurs. So it's nearly 100% of the time on a Tues or a Wed. It's not done against you, but majority rules. You could always volunteer to help plan the next one to ensure it does not fall on a Wed.
You don't like your coworkers, why on earth would you want to go to a social event with them even if it was on Tues? They don't count social events as not showing up for work, so it's not held against you. They may have known you couldn't make it but invited you anyway b/c that is the polite thing to do. You can't invite all but one of the employees. Stay on the high road here and be polite with an "I regret that I will not be able to attend due to other priorities."
2007-11-26 14:06:13 · answer #2 · answered by phantom_of_valkyrie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the party is or isn't at the CEO's house, I strongly recommend that you take off from your second job just for that ONE night and attend. The second suggestion is to LOOK LIKE YOU'RE ENJOYING YOURSELF. That should make your boss happy and your evil co-worker unhappy.
Please be polite enough not to criticize the person who scheduled the party, it could have been the very person who signs your paycheck. Your attendance could mean the difference in your having a job and not having one. I guess it wouldn't matter if you can support yourself on your Wednesday night job. Just ask to be off in plenty of time for the hospital to find a replacement for that night.
Please pull your claws and horns back in; Halloween has already passed.
2007-11-26 14:07:01 · answer #3 · answered by Laredo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like there's anything fishy to me. They're having a party and they're including you. I doubt very much they purposely planned the party on a day they knew you couldn't make it. If they already know you work on Wednesday evenings, how can they "use it against you" for not showing up?
When you e-mail them back just decline the same way you did with the dinner invitation. Don't get huffy...it'll backfire...trust me.
2007-11-26 13:46:19 · answer #4 · answered by LolaCorolla 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, you just being one person, they may have gone with what worked for the majority, did you ever think of that? I have this problem sometimes because I work Thursday nights, but I understand that it can't all be about me and that you have to go with what's best for the group as a whole. Also, they may just not have you at the top of their minds when they plan these things. There's no way they have your work schedule memorized, especially if it's for another job, they may just not have thought about it. Another thing to consider, do they normally have these things on Wednesday nights? This may just be a tradition. This may have nothing to do with you whatsoever!
2007-11-26 16:07:24 · answer #5 · answered by bainaashanti 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your best bet is to be gracious. If you point out the irony, it might create even more tension. If you don't like these people, maybe it's best that you don't have to go to their party anyway. Say something nice, like " I appreciate the invitation, but unfortunately, I have to work that night. Have a great time & Happy Holidays" this way, if they talk about you, they're the bad guys since you were so nice! Besides, your second job is not their concern...
2007-11-26 13:57:35 · answer #6 · answered by Charley 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my profession, someone has to work, we are medical personnel. So someone always gets left out.
I would drop it. E-mail back, "Sorry, I'm scheduled to work, Merry Xmas to everyone".
Nobody likes a spoilsport, especially not at Christmas. If you spoke up about your rights and feelings before, and if they were negative like you did not wish to celebrate with the office for some reason, [even if presented in a positive and constructive way], why are you wondering about being excluded this year? That might be why. Aso, the somebody's got to work, this year it is you theory comes to mind.
2007-11-26 15:06:11 · answer #7 · answered by riversconfluence 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may or may not be right about it being on purpose. (I doubt it) But I don't think you should bring it up. Politely let them know in person or by email that you'd love to go but unfortunately have to work that night. Sounds like things are already tense enough and you don't want to escalate it into outright hostility. Remember you still have to work with these people so try to make the best of it. You don't have to like the people you work with, but you do have to be able to work together.
2007-11-26 13:45:36 · answer #8 · answered by Cristy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
graciously decline......you can tell them you have prior commitments or you have to work. Your making this to be way to personal and I doubt that the other co worker has that much influence over your office. Don't be catty or sarcastic, you'll look petty. You have two choices...either go to the party and make arrangements now with your other job or decline the office party. Seems pretty simple to me.
2007-11-26 18:57:59 · answer #9 · answered by divers_godeeper 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all its probably not personal unless the coworker who doesn't like you planned the party. If you feel this strongly about them not liking you then I would search for another job. Take your time, and tell no one.
2007-11-26 13:48:09 · answer #10 · answered by omegajasmine 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋