Must I attend a wedding at a church I left for good reasons?

Question

Let me give you some background info first. I attended a church for 15 years. During that time I volunteered endlessly and gave of myself, often sacrificing family time to do so. I had few needs but there came a time my mother passed away, not one friend came from church. Just the retired part time pastor and his wife. My actual pastor did not call, visit or attend the funeral. It was very sad not to receive that support.

I forgave and moved forward. Then a year ago my husband was seriously ill, needed more than one surgery. I put in prayer requests and not once did my pastor call. One of his associates did but they never followed up and eventually they left the church. I put in another prayer request when things got worse and my pastor never phoned me.

During this time I was volunteering at the church every week, he would see me and walk right on by. A friend commented on how disgusted she was by him and his behavior and she and her husband left the church.

Due to my husbands poor health I was unable to get to church myself and had decided that if my pastor didn't call me, I would not return.

Well he never did, so I quit the church. But pastor and his wife did contact my friend and begged them to come back to the church. Their son was best friends with the pastors son.

Now my friend is back in this church that she says she doesn't like and she doesn't like the pastor at all, but her son is going to be married in this church so she goes there.

She has invited me to attend the wedding. I feel sick about going back to this church that I feel abandoned me in my time of need.

Must I go? Also I don't feel this so called friend was much of a friend to go back to doing the volunteer work we did, when she swore to me she would not do it without me. I feel our friendship has waned. And she didn't come to my mothers funeral either.

I am a people pleaser and hate conflict but I don't want to go back to that church. How do I decline?

The point is that she has never been there for me. Not when my mother died, not when my husband was ill. Not when I had surgery. I forgave these things because I have loving family by my side and I am a Christian. However I am at a point now where I see I have been used by people, the church and have had enough. I feel going to the wedding would be nice, but not at this church where I would feel terribly awkward. I feel sick about this and want to decline but need to know how.

Answer 1

I would inform your friend that do to the shoddy way you were treated in your time of need you can not and will not step foot inside that church. I would be honest. Why should you suffer to make others happy?

Answer 2

The church is a building, a place where ceremonies are held. You have a problem with the people who run the church, so you stopped volunteering and stopped attending their religious ceremonies (praise, worship, sermon, etc.). So now when you return, you will be attending a wedding at a building. You will not be attending a church for religious purposes. It's just the place where the wedding happens to be. If people ask where you've been, let them know that the Lord has guided you elsewhere. That seems like a safe response.

Better yet, you can learn a lesson from all this. All churches have crooked people working for them. If you have not noticed, it might be because they are well hidden. Maybe it's not the pastor or the elders. It could be the youth pastor or something like that. Churches are breeding grounds for corruption. Look at the basic set up, a business that does not have to pay income or property taxes. That is enough right there to attract money-hungry people. Churches are generally thought of as kind, loving, friendly, and willing to help out others free of charge. That is enough right there to attract people who abuse trust to take advantage of people.

So you realized this church is run by people who are not courteous and do not care about your personal problems. You solved the issue by not giving them any more of your money. Show up, enjoy the wedding, and leave happily knowing you are no longer bothered by that church and its problems.

Answer 3

Issues of this kind are always super sensitive! I feel it's time you really started to think of yourself as obviously no one else is. You are a person and you have feelings too. I suggest you simply pick up the phone and tell your friend that you feel too uncomfortable about going back to a situation which virtually used you as a convenience and nothing more. Be up front! You don't owe anything to any body! It seems to me that you are the one who is owed plenty. Just tell your friend that you would feel too stressed out to attend the actual wedding however you would love to drop into the reception and wish the happy couple your best wishes on their special day. This would be a good compromise and provides you with a "soft option"

Answer 4

Weddings are so special. The bride's wishes should be the most important thing. If you can do it, you should attend this event especially if they are your good friends. I am sure they did not make wedding plans specifically to offend anyone. If you really can't stand the thought of going, - there can always be a necessary out of town family function that you are required to attend and you can send your regrets and a nice gift.

Answer 5

The word “except for marital unfaithfulness” is the purely element in Scripture that probable provides God’s permission for divorce and remarriage. Many interpreters understand this “exception clause” as concerning “marital unfaithfulness” in the course of the “betrothal” era. In Jewish custom, a guy and a lady were considered married even even as they were nonetheless engaged or “betrothed.” in accordance to this view, immorality in this “betrothal” era could then be the purely valid rationalization for a divorce. even if, the Greek be conscious translated “marital unfaithfulness” is a be conscious that can recommend any type of sexual immorality. it may recommend fornication, prostitution, adultery, etc. Jesus is probable affirming that divorce is permissible if sexual immorality is dedicated. Sexual kin are an necessary part of the marital bond: “both will change into one flesh” (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Ephesians 5:31). for this reason, any breaking of that bond by sexual kin outdoors of marriage can be a permissible rationalization for divorce. if so, Jesus also has remarriage in concepts in this passage. The word “and marries yet another” (Matthew 19:9) exhibits that divorce and remarriage are allowed in an get jointly of the exception clause, in spite of it truly is interpreted to be. it truly is needed to video reveal that purely the possibility free celebration is authorized to remarry. even if it isn't reported contained in the textual content, the allowance for remarriage after a divorce is God’s mercy for the single which changed into sinned antagonistic to, no longer for the single which dedicated the sexual immorality. there is circumstances the position the “accountable celebration” is authorized to remarry, even if it isn't taught in this textual content.

Answer 6

sounds like a place I left, But I put on the big smile my best, 'look what you lost' kinda attitued, and Go. When asked, I let everyone know how 'busy we at my new church are' how we are doing this or that for the Lord, and how well he is blessing. Instead of sulking, i fight back with the truth of 'look what you lost'

Answer 7

You don't need to explain yourself to those that you feel have mistreated you. I would simply respond that you must regrefully decline and be done with it.

Answer 8

are you attending a church service, or are you attending the wedding of a child of a good friend?

get your priorities in order.

Answer 9

I'd go for the food.

Answer 10

Maybe you can just go to the reception...