We're having four groomsmen; one of the four (who we hadn't yet asked but knew we were going to) has just

Question

announced he'll be off on a round the world trip from January 28th - our wedding is in March. He's been my fiancé's best friend for years, they went to uni together...and he told me that he was going away not my fiance!! My fiance will be devasted. What can I say to encourage him??

Answer 1

Well, as I see it you have a couple of options. Change the date to accommodate your fiance's best friend, who obviously had more important things to do than hold the date open for your wedding, or help your fiance choose another groomsman.

It's a shame, but it happens. He may be disappointed, but I doubt he will be truly devastated. Guys don't usually sweat stuff like that. Do you have ushers picked out separate from groomsmen? Just bump someone up and find another usher or get by with one less usher.

In the grand scheme of things, it's not that big a deal!

Answer 2

Well obviously its meant to be your big day and (no insult intended) you're not short of a bob or two. I don't think you should get involved. He is not your best friend, it is unfair of him to tell you and not your fiance. I don't know him and it would be wrong to jump to conclusions but it seems a bit of mean thing to do. It may be that events have been coincidental and just very unfortuante timing. If he really is your fiance's best friend and can't be there then I suggest he make a video message that you can play on the big day.
As for the fourth groomsman perhaps your fiance has another friend he can ask or (pardon my ignorance here, can it work with only three?)

Good luck on your wedding day I hope you have a life time of love.

Answer 3

Tell him that he will not know until he asks. Tell him that the worst thing that he can say is no and that he has nothing to loose by asking.

My guess is that if he has the cash to have an around the world trip, he has plenty to take a ticket back home for your wedding. The sooner he tells him the better the chances of him being able to accomodate your wedding date into his schedule.

Also, tell him that he could ask him with no obligation implied: i.e. -Tom, I know that you are going on this world tour, and I'm so happy for you. We've been friends for x amount of time and I couldn't think of anyone better to be my groomsman in our wedding. I figure I would ask before you leave in case you can make it to our wedding, if not, we understand that you already have plans, but we wouldn't want not to ask you because you mean a lot to the both of us.

Good luck

Answer 4

that's a tough one. it was hard to pick out our groomsmen and bridesmaides as well, but it worked out. encouage who? your fiance or the one who's going on the trip? idk what to say, really.
if it's the groomsman, wish him a good trip and try and find a new groomsman to take his place.
if it's for your fiance, well, i can't say... you need to deal with it somehow. life must go on. just don't post pone the wedding for this one groomsman. it would have been nice if he could postpone his trip until after the wedding. he could do the trip while you are on your honeymoon.
good luck. don't know what else to say.

Answer 5

Tell him to stand up and be a man and tell his best friend. You don't want a issue between you and him at all with him telling you this "secret". Tell him to be a man and respectfully decline being a groomsmen and tell his best friend not you but his best friend why he can't be in the wedding. The nerve of him to drag you in the middle to tell your fiancee, let him do it.

Answer 6

Interesting that your fiance's best friend announced this info to you before he told his own best friend. Wow.

Answer 7

if he doesn't tell your fiance himself then he isn't that good of a friend.. but then he really should have asked him sooner..