the father of my grandaughter did not want to know her from birth, now after 6yrs he wants a dna test, np, but we know these r going to come back positive but does this give him the rights to just walk into her life when she is settled and happy. she was very premature at birh and nearly died and that is when she needed him most, my daughter does not want him in her life but he does pay maintanence through the csa and i think his name is on the birth certificate. he says he still wants nothing to do with her he just wants to be sure she is his, but im not so sure this is causing alot of stress in our family and my grandaughter does not know who her father is and she doesnt ask at the moment and my daughter is willing to tell her when she is ready or when she asks. thanks for any replies to this we r grateful.....
2007-11-26 02:20:42 · 9 answers · asked by missiongirl1 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You may not want to deal with this guy, but the fact is that he is your granddaughter's father, and she probably wants to know him.
I realize she's settled, but she may resent it if she ever found out her dad wanted to be a part of her life and her family wouldn't allow it.
He may be telling the truth and not want to have anything to do with her, but just be sure his money is going to his biological child.
Legally, I'm not sure there's much you can do. If his name is on the birth cert. and he has been paying his child support, unless he's signed away his rights to the child he can come back into her life.
2007-11-26 02:27:47 · answer #1 · answered by ambertmbg1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion I think your daughter should not be waiting for her daughter to ask as she may never ask. She is more than likely ready to be told now about her father now she is at school and aged 6....(in simple terms of course, without any predjudice toward the father). I say this from my own personal experience. I suggest not waiting to tell the truth about who her father is as it can have repercussions. Best to tell now. I do not think a positive DNA test gives him the right to see his child whenever he wants. This needs to be sorted out between the parents considering both their needs and the child's. If he is not harmful in any way I wonder what your concern is. He does, I believe, have some rights to visitation if it is proven he is the Father. I have heard this story many times...ie. Dad's not being interested in their children until after the first 5 or so years. It stinks, because the first 5 years are crucial and often the hard ones and that is so typical of many men.. .wanting input after the ground work has been done. But it happens and there is not much you can do about it. Upon saying that...seek professional opinion.
2007-11-26 02:35:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it doesn't sound like he actually wants to be in her life. To be honest, this doesn't really sound like it is going to affect her at all, if all he wants is a paternity test. My guess is he wants proof that he has to continue to pay child support. Go ahead and have the paternity test. If he is paying, he can probably force your family to do that through the courts anyway. I don't know about where you are, but in Texas, having a name on the birth certificate doesn't really mean much. The mother and father both have to sign a form testifying to the identity of the father if you are not married.
To be honest, this is probably in the child's best interests. If you have proof he is the father, he can't really duck out of payments. The only problems you might face are if she is not his, then no more payments. If she is his, then he can insist on some sort of visitation. If that is what he is interested in, it's better to be cooperative with this in hopes that he will be cooperative with that. To me, it seems like having a test is a win-win situation.
2007-11-26 02:29:44 · answer #3 · answered by SS109 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter should have sued for child support from the moment the child was born. Doesn't matter if he didn't want the kid or not, that is the kid's right -to be supported by her dad. Statistics show that single moms are poorer that other women.
He DOES have the right to come back into the kid's life whenever he wants. This is the result of girls screwing/sleeping around and getting pregnant by the wrong guy. She messes up her kid's life and her own.
Nothing you can do about that but get her to file for child support.
2007-11-26 03:28:46 · answer #4 · answered by serene e 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If paternity is proven, he has the right to petition the court for visitation and such. But this also means he is also liable for any child support that your daughter wishes to seek.
Your best bet would be to acquire a family law attorney to make sure that he doesn't try to disrupt the child's life just because he's the father. You also want to make sure that he doesn't try to claim her on his tax returns or anything.
2007-11-26 02:33:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
may be this man isn't nor doesn't want to be a father to this child, and may be he has the opportunity to carry on with his life and feels if he's not the real father, there's no reason he should pay support, and he shouldn't if he's not the father.
Let him pay the cost of the tests and go through with it. No biggy!! IF and when it shows he's the daddy, he can continue the child support.
IF your daughter can survive and move on without his help, she should have him sign his rights away. then you won't have to deal with him any more.
2007-11-26 02:31:27 · answer #6 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, i think since he is being asked to pay for her support, he has a right to verify that she is his. don't get so upset. maybe he is looking for a daughter. people change. the thing is that he really is her dad and that gives him moral rights and also obligations. yes, he has the right to come back at any time and be the parent that he can be. and really it's best for her to know the truth. try to relax. anyway, the child needs to be told about her father. even 6 year olds know that kids have fathers. she needs to be told the truth - not making her dad a bad guy or villian.
what you have to realize is that your daughter chose this man to be the girl's father and there is no changing it. he is not the only one who could benefit from being in her life. children benefit from having parents, too. don't withhold that possible benefit from her.
he's probably just checking to see if he can get out of paying for her maintenance.
2007-11-26 02:26:38 · answer #7 · answered by Sufi 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That' tough. No child should have to go without a father but that is the way of our world now. She should know who her father is though. It's very important that at least she knows that much. I have a child and her father isn't involved in her life but she knows that he his her dad. I try not to be bitter or resentful of that fact (not around her anyway). Just explain to her that she is special and you all (your family) love her very much and her dad loves her he just can't be around right now. God Bless mother's we truly carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. Good Luck!
2007-11-26 02:31:26 · answer #8 · answered by luxemomny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he did not want her.
2007-11-26 02:25:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋