How do I keep my toddler from feeling left out?

Question

After four months of no sleep, for my physical and mental well being, I have decided that co-sleeping with my four month old (with me and my partner) is the best solution. This is the only way he will sleep at night. I can only foresee two problems. One is that our 2-year-old will feel left out (she slept with Daddy in our bed for the last four months while I slept elsewhere to work on getting the baby in his crib) She had no problem going back to her twin bed in her own room, but I am afraid she will start feeling left out of the sleeping situation, since everyone else in the house is in one bed. We only have a Queen size so all four of us would NOT sleep comfortably in one bed.

Second, I would *eventually* like to get the baby in his own bed. Anyone had problems or successes getting baby in crib after cosleeping for several months?

Answer 1

We did co-sleeping until my daughter was 4 mos old, it was what worked best for us with her nursing/sick all the time, and we put her in a co-sleeper that prevented her us from rolling on her. When she started rolling, I had to move her to her crib b/c she was ALL OVER, and it was just a tough couple of weeks. We just had to let her cry it out a bit, but gently soothe her several times a night for quite awhile, they have really neat crib lights you could try that play soft music or sounds, or maybe a white noise machine. Or he may be craving the closeness and security of your bed, try sleep sacks (Carter's makes them to 9 mos), that will keep him bundled more closely (and warm, an added bonus!) as he is probably too old to swaddle anymore.
For your toddler, until she presents that she had a problem with the baby in your bed, I wouldn't worry about it. Reassure her every morning what a big girl/good girl she was for sleeping in her big girl bed and how proud you are of her. Good luck!

Answer 2

As long as your toddler knows that you will attend to her needs no matter what time of day or night it is, I can't imagine her feeling too left out, especially if you have a nice bedtime routine of cuddles, storytime, bathtime, etc.

The baby will eventually go to his own bed, I promise. He will not sleep with you forever, and while it may take time and patience to transition him to his own bed, it will happen. I co slept and both my children were in their own beds by age 3, and I know many other co sleeping children who also went to their own beds at that age.

Bottom line is, you have to do what's right for you so that people in your house get some sleep at night. Remember that children are small only for a VERY short time in the grand scheme of things, and that parenting is all about sacrifices. Your husband will still be there when the babies are big. *Alone* time with him doesn't have to be at night in bed, the two of you will have to be creative to figure that out, but it will make you closer.

Answer 3

HI Children are so time consuming in a very wonderful way .about your situation you need to put the child in his or her crib and when you put them to sleep . do so from a chair . and to the crib it is a process that takes time and the baby will get used to the crib and will adjust to it. and the thoughts of your other child is not the case we as parents which i raised 4. our minds are thinking of all sorts of things that could happen but dont. spend time with the other child around the new baby and let her spend time with you both and you will see that she will remian happy and the sleeping situation will be ok. and in no time at all things will go back to normal. it will be ok youll see in a couple of weeks.

Answer 4

Don't bring the baby over. I know it's hard, and I know it's stressful, but my daughter is 20 months old and she won't sleep at all unless it's in bed with me..which isn't comfrotable with my boyfriend and i *my bed is only full size*. Just make sure he is fed and changed, and rock him for a little, when he falls asleep...put him in the crib, and leave him there while u go to bed..your daughter should go to her own bed too...when the 4 month old wakes up...your partner or you (make sure the "shifts" are equal) should go and either a) feed him in the chair or b) if he is fed already, dont pick him up...slimply rub his back so that he'll go back to sleep...i know its stressful, and i KNOW you will be tired, but soon enough he'll be able to sleep on his own and you won't have to worry about him getting used to the cosleeping...good luck talk to your doctor too, they'll have good tips

Answer 5

I'm dead set against co-sleeping for any length of time. Use it for a few days to get out of sleep deprivation mode, but then get that baby back in its own bed! Otherwise you will pay 10-fold a year from now. It could even affect your marriage.

There are lots of books about ways to get a child to learn to sleep by itself. We used a modified Ferber (it's not as brutal as some people would lead you to believe) and it worked.

Good luck!

Answer 6

lol mine cries in the middle of the night and climbs into are bed still. i think its goin to take time and getting used to. on days they are really tired they will stay in the bed and sleep. if mine has a day where she took alot of naps, chances are she will wake up in the night get out of her bed and get in mine. its funny cause i hear her crying like how could u do this to me tone and walking around bumping into things in the dark. i think eventually they will grow out of it but you have to put them in their own room at night every night. keep up a routine. i also moved her bed by the heat vent but not too close and a big stuffed animal for her to hold on to. that has helped.

Answer 7

dont co sleep. you are setting your self up for more problems and even less sleep. put both kids in their own beds and let them cry.

establish a bedtime routine
bath fresh diaper pjs into their bed and a story then lights out and soft music playing, turn the light off and close the door, they will go to sleep.

you and your husband need to take your bed back now.

yes the kids will cry but if your consistent and dorn budge they will adjust in a few nights
co-sleeping is never the answer

Answer 8

Partner?
Where is your husband? He should be able to help with the older child. If she is given enough attention during the day this situation should not be a problem for her.