How should we behave now with my neice due to which my sister made sucide?

Question

My neice married to a boy who was not liked by her mother (my sister). In spite of several request and pray to avoid this intercast marriage by her mother, instead of convincing her mother, she married and called her husband to house. This caused an argument in between her and her mother. Ultimately her mother (my sister ) became so depresed that she hanged herself to death. How should we behave with her and her husband now? We are bit confused. My Neice has no regret for this and says she is economically independendent so she can take any deceision she likes.

Answer 1

How do you feel about your niece. That is all that matters. If you love your niece and want to be there for her you should. It is not her fault that your sister committed suicide. I believe there must have been some much deeper issues. It was her own problem that she did not except the boyfriend now husband. She should have respected her daughters feeling. Also your niece shouldn't have any regret. She is in love and it is not her fault that her mother committed suicide. Don't blame her. The loss of one loved one is hard enough. Even if you yourself do not agree with the marriage you should still except her and the man that she has chosen to marry. You shouldn't act weird around her she is your family. Not only that she is a part of your sister I am sure you can look at her and see your sister in some way. Cherish that. Don't throw it away because your sister was to hard headed to except someone who makes her daughter happy. Well good luck to you and I hope that everything works out for the best. Later.

Answer 2

There was nothing in what the neice did that should have made the mother hang herself directly. Your sister was deeply depressed and did not manage to get the help that was needed to save her. This was a depression much deeper than just being very upset about a marriage. I know the intercast marriage could be much more upsetting than an interracial marriage would be to a biggot over here, but it would still not "automatically" result in anyone killing themselves, now would it? Does every mother whose child marries across caste lines kill herself? No.
It can be very, very hard to cope with suicide and it is not unusual to seek a scapegoat for the blame. Suicides are also intent on punushing those they leave behind so she might have even attributed her suicide to her daughter, but again, there is no true correlation here. Your neice has lost her mother. You need to be sympathetic. Her marriage was not the cause, though and although you may still respond as you wish concerning your anger about the intercaste marriage, the marriage is a fact also. So if you want to shun her for the marriage, do it, but not because of the suicide. I cannot imagine shunning one of my nieces for their choice of a husband, but then that is my culture and not yours. I would treat her as my bereaved neice - her mothers suicide was not her fault. Depression can be treated, but it can be hard to see and hard to realize how upset someone is in time to get the right treatment for it. As a family, you may tend to feel you should have known or should have done something for her, but depression and suicide are like that - hard to see coming. There is not special blame for the daughter to bear, though. Her mother needed help for her depression, not accommodation to her wrath.

Answer 3

It is your call not the public. How do you feel emotionally towards your neice.

Sorry that your sister committed suicide. Interracial marriages can be hard if people are not prepared. Your neice has the right to make her own decisions. Her living with her decisions would be her responsibility.

BTW noone can make you commit suicide. Suicide is a decsion that one takes on by themself. Your niece should not be blamed for her mother's act


Skin color has long divided people. The prejudice of racism is world-wide, even today. Thus, this question is of great importance. In America, as we continue to see the influx of people from all different cultures, who have all different colors of skin, it is imperative that we search the Scriptures so see how we should live

Instead of alienating your niece and her husband you should try being civil towards them and in time things will work out.

Sorry to say your sister had some serious demons working against her. Let's hope your family is strong enough not to alienate your niece and her husband and work towards embracing this family.

Answer 4

Even though the daughter caused her mom heartache, it is not her fault her mother commited suicide. Her mother made her own decision. If the daughter is happy and you don't have any problems with her being married to this guy then why lose another family member over this. In time she will realize what happened and she will regret the way she handled it but you really should try to keep the family together, and remember she is the one thing you do have left of your sister. Cherish that and don't blame her, mothers and daughters disagree and fight all the time.

Answer 5

I think that your sisters daughter has the right to make her own choices in life and doesn't always have to have her mother's permission. The mistake she had done was to not try to talk it over with her mom. Also, I sort of think that your sister should have gotten help and forgiven her daughter instead of killing herself. Your sister will soon feel that she is to blame, but it is not all her fault. Her mother has to share some of the blame.

You should not be mean or rude to them because they loved each other and sometimes you have to make your own decisions even if it may hurt others. I admit they should have done it in a better way, but they didn't think that her mother would hang herself


I hope I have helped.

Answer 6

I am sorry for the loss of your sister. Your sister made the decision to take her own life and it is her doing. It is normal to want to find someone to blame for what has happened. If your niece was old enough to get married it is her right to choose her own mate, we do not have arranged marriages here. You niece has lost her mother and even if she says she has no regrets she has suffered a loss that she will feel for the rest of her life. Try to be kind. And please try to recognize that your sister made the decision to end her own life. She must have had some on going problems with depression. Again, I am sorry for your loss.

Answer 7

If kids are immature in their aproach, we elders should apply our mind & behave in a mature manner. The very fact this niece married out of caste is no reason for your sister to take the thing so much in her mind & commit suicide. This is no reason for her to go in depression as in this modern world, when caste, religion, race, nationality should not be made an issue in marriage. Yes definitely I agree with you when you say that this young lady should have explained her mother the reason for her such decision in a refined & gentle manner rather then indulging in argument that lead to your sister's death. What I feel you all relatives now should not outcaste this lady & her husband for whatever has happened as by doing so you will be creating more problem for her with her husband who will be having inferiority complex that this all happened because of his marrying your niece. All this will ultimately result in discord in their marital life & may even break it, which will be bad for your niece. Just behave in normal maner with both of them & don't let them have any complex regarding what ever has happened.

Answer 8

I agree with Chelmsford. The loss of your sister is enough. AND this is her daughter that you are talking about. You do not have to like her husband if you don't want to, but she lost her mother too and you should pull together and support each other as a family, especially during your time of mourning. This should bring you closer together as a family. Try to give her Love and understanding, even if you don't understand her choice in choosing her mate. You already lost your sister... Don't lose your niece too.

Answer 9

My sincere condolences. I have never been in that situation, but I have had a friend commit suicide. It's easy to blame someone else. So, it's easy to blame your niece. But ultimately, it was your sister's decision to take her life that way. If I couldn't be very friendly, I hope I would at least behave civilly and kindly. While your niece expresses no regret, you do not know (nor may she admit for that matter) how she really feels inside.

Answer 10

First of all I'm truly sorry for u. And my advice to u would to treat her like u have treated her all your life or even better cause by the end of the day she is still family. But I think she should of hear her mother out u know. But its her life and if she don't want any advice on how to make right and important choices its her fault how her life turns out. But again I'm truly sorry to hear about your sister. And well i hope u can help your niece out when she truly needs and wants to accept your help.