what to do with a very annoying negative mother in law ??!!!?

Question

my mother in law currently staying in our house for 3 weeks cause she's having problems with her husband. my husband and i feel SORRY FOR HER that's why we invited her. BUT, all she does is critisizing our house from the smallest dust to even unplug our fridge (with our food in it!!) without even asking, says she's cleaning. we're also trying to get her to the hair salon because she looks soooo dulll, so that she feels good and feel better about herself. after getting RUDELY REJECTED (i don't want it!! she said publicly), she finally agreed to do it, only to say "my hair looks good but what's the use i have a sad sad heart". pretty much, she brings NEGATIVE ENERGY to our house and all she does is complain about our house. what to doooo?? i'm getting crazy

Answer 1

I hate to say it sweetie, but you should've thought of those things before inviting her to stay there for 3 weeks!! Even with a GOOD mother-in-law, I would still say it's not a good idea to invite her for 3 weeks!!! Anyone can get on your nerves after that much time!

Answer 2

I would tell her that the dust is not the end of the world. Although everyone likes a clean house, you need to stop and smell the roses. You need to live life not just exist. No one wants to be around a person who finds every thing negative.

My mother in law is the same way, she was taken on vacation to a beautiful 4 * hotel on an island of clear blue water and white sandy beaches. She of course found stuff to complain about. Every restaurant was a problem, my house is not decorated to her liking, why did we buy this color car and so on... it brings you to the point of not wanting them around. So now, we no longer hear her complain as she is not longer invited as my husband and I refuses to make plans to go out and treat someone who makes it miserable for everyone else. I would tell your mother in law my story maybe she will wake up and get the hint...

Answer 3

Hi Ilbacio!

I know how you feel, my mother-in-law lived with us for 2 years! When she first came, the first evening she began to criticize our apartment! At that time, I had 2 small kids (<1 year old and 2.5 year old) and I just could not keep up with the house work! She blamed ME for not keeping it clean (she did not say anything about her son). That first night of her visit really upset me and I could not forgive her for a long time. So for those 2 years our relationship was not very good. I just did not want to talk to her and let her be with my kids. But then I realized that she was an unhappy woman who wanted her place in the world...(her husband died 12 years ago). She just could not handle what she felt and dissipated all her negative energy on our family. So I decided to help her - I wrote some ads in the newspaper, let her borrow some of my good clothes, and within a few months she met a man. They dated for a while, and then he proposed to her. So now she lives with him - and she is happy. She comes to visit sometimes and sometimes when I need, she stays with my kids, and our relationship is improving.

So my advice to you is to somehow help your mother - to let her know that her life is not over. If she wants her relationship improved with her husband, maybe they could do couple counseling? If not, think of something that might help her feel better about herself....Personally, I used EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) to deal with my self esteem. I am a very confident person now, who knows what she wants (a year ago I was completely different, always feeling sorry for myself).

Just my thoughts...

Remember, your mom-in-law is just human..Just ask her if there is something you and her son can help her with?

All the best:)

Answer 4

sorry, but, she needs to go home. she's being very manipulative and is very needy. this is going way beyond the normal " mom needs me" bit. she's a grown women and is capable of handling her own marital issues.

Answer 5

send her packing