I just survived a terrible day with my wife's family at Thanksgiving but now I look at the calendar and see that Christmas is coming up in less than a month. My wife does not really like her family much either but feels obligated to get together for her parents. My family is gone so I am forced to get together with my wife's family.
Her family without exception is really terrible. What a bunch of bad people. I can not believe how nasty they were to my wife when she was growing up and how cold they are to each other today. Every year I grit my teeth and try to be nice but it is hard and they are rude to me and my wife every year. I have tried talking to them about it but are ignored. What do you do about terrible relatives at Holiday time?
2007-11-25 22:27:40 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Why do you think you HAVE to be around them? You don't have to. Just because someone is a relative does not mean you have to be with them. Why people feel that way is beyond me. If they weren't related you'd have nothig to do with them? Where does the rule change because they are related?
Listen, I'm not saying be nasty back, don't. Take the high road. But it's time to honor your wife. You sound like a lovely couple and you are obviously a wonderful husband. You can start your own wonderful holiday traditions.
Have friends over, go work together at a church or location serving the needy. Go away somewhere alone and make your own wonderful Christmas. I don't know where you live or if you have children, but start your own traditions and forget her family. Send them a Christmas card and do your own thing.
Don't subject her to anymore pain. Make your own beautiful holiday memories.
Good luck. Stay strong and don't let anyone try to manipulate either one of you. Tell them to have a nice day and move on.
2007-11-25 22:32:59 · answer #1 · answered by oh_my_its_linda 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do they live nearby? If so, maybe you could see them for part of the day, then go and do something else like help out serving dinner at a hostel or shelter for people less fortunate than you, or go to Church, or something like that. If you wife feels some obligation to family duty for Christmas, maybe if you can still do it but with less time, it might help. Maybe also could you have Christmas time with them at a restuarant or somewhere more public like that, that would give her family less opportunity to be uncivil. Good luck with it. Also, who said family have to be blood relatives? Maybe there are good people in your lives that do not have family or no family nearby and would be happy with your little family spending time with them too. Good luck and hope you have a happy Christmas after all.
2007-11-25 22:51:37 · answer #2 · answered by Max 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you stop going there. why put youselves through that year after year? stay home with your wife and enjoy christmas together. you already know how they are and what to expect from them so why go? its a shame that you and your wife are put through this, its terrible when people make you uncomfortable at a time when you should be enjoying yourselves.
2007-11-26 00:32:32 · answer #3 · answered by jstagirl1969 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Suggest to your wife that you and her have your own Christmas. Plant the seed of how wonderful, calming, and peaceful it will be to not have to see or deal with any jerks.
2007-11-25 23:37:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
your wife needs to get over her feeling of obligation to these people. sounds like she's still trying to get their approval. i suggest just staying home. sometimes, it's just not worth it to go somewhere else.
2007-11-26 01:55:05 · answer #5 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe u need to start having holiday at ur own home instead going to theirs...
2007-11-26 01:17:57 · answer #6 · answered by kitttkat2001 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋