Christmas presents? Yes or no?

Question

So here is a situation with my husbands family.
They live on a west coast, and we live on the east coast. We are not very close and except for occational phone call during the holidays, we do not interact.
For the past 5 years we pretty much have been exchanging gift cards for Christmas through mail, and this year I am up to the point where I've had enough.
Just seems like a waste of everyone's time.

What would be a nice way to say: Let's just cut this out, let's go and buy ourselves something nice and pretend it's our gifts, since that's what's going on anyway.

Any thoughts?

Answer 1

Been there, done that............. It's a funny one this I have the same problem with my wifes family, we hardly ever see them but they all insist on sending some waste of money present to all concerned, its gone on for years and I've told her to stop doing it, especially seeing as the kids in the family have now grown up, she still sends them presents but we get nothing back, even though they all have good jobs and more spare cash than us. but she insists, I think shes crazy and they are taking the **ss.

By all means stop doing it, I totally agree with your thoughts on cancelling this arrangement. If it was up to me I'd have done the same years ago.

A nice way to say it would be by just not bothering this year.
No amount of words will sort it amicably withourt someone taking offense. After all if you dont spend any time with them what is there to lose.

Answer 2

Why don't you just send a fruit basket so the whole family can enjoy it. Send it early so when you get a call, you just say this year we decide to send out fruit baskets for presents . You can also add that it doesn't make sense to give gift cards to each other. So enjoy the fruit basket. I'm sure they will. You can also send each one a personal gift this year because they are not expecting it. They will be surprised and you will enjoy picking it out. Good Luck!!

Answer 3

Interesting Question.. It Might Seem Like A Waste Of Time.. But Would You Feel That Way If Someone Did That To You??

Answer 4

send your Christmas card early with no gift card
they will get the hint

if they still send the gift card don't feel bad Christmas is the time for giving

i l live on the west cost and my family is on the east coast and all i get is a card from family - except my mom she won't give up no matter what i tell her

Answer 5

Just tell them that with the gas getting so expensive, and the cost of living increasing so much, you feel that it would be better, for both families, if you and they did not exchange gifts unless the two families plan to get together for the holiday.

Or

You can say that due to the cost of living increases, you and your husband have decided to only get gifts for the kids and grandchildren (if you have any).

Answer 6

Why don't you do what I did last year, to my adult children and friends.

Instead of buying presents, we donated a certain amount of money to one of Oprah's charities (you can go into her site and there are many charities mentioned, that are legit)

You get receipts under each persons name, put a receipt in a Christmas card and say that you have donated money, on their behalf to the (children of Dar fur was ours). Ours was only for $30.00 per person. They loved their presents and the children want to do the same thing this year.

Answer 7

I guess when you make one of your infrequent calls, justy say to them that you have a lot of expenses at the moment (lets face it, who doesn't) and how do they feel about not doing presents this year (and then it just flow into year after year after that!)? If they/you have young children, why don't you just suggest you do kids presents - up to a certtain age, like 16 or something, and not adults.
I did tjhis this year, and it went over really well, turns out they are quite relieved!!

Answer 8

Our family did this a long time ago - just give them a call and be honest - everythings so expensive these days, its hard enought to be able to afford nice presents for your own kids and partner without having to buy for all the rellies too.
Being that they are your husbands family he should be the one giving them the call so you get out of it!

Answer 9

This year just send them a nice Christmas card (early) and let them know that you are only buying for each other this year.

Answer 10

no thoughts sorry oh ya just send a card anyways because if they really don't like you it will kill them to know that you still think about them every year kill them with kindness thats what i always say. good luck and have a merry christmas .