My boyfriend and I currently have a long distance relationship and it seems like it's going to stay that way for at least nine or ten more months. Minimum. He asked me though if he could have sex with other women, assuring me that he still loves *me.* Also, he said he's fine with me having sex with other men, so long as I tell him about it. I see where he's coming from, due to the distance and all, but I don't know... We haven't been together for a terribly long time, and he is a male in his prime, but still... What should I say to him? Who should I think about--me, him, or us?
2007-11-25 17:50:57 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You see where he's coming from? REALLY? Because I don't. 10 months is NOT that long to wait. Sounds like this guy wants to have his cake and eat it too, so to speak. He is 'granting' you permission to have sex with other men, because he KNOWS you won't!!
Good grief. Have some backbone and don't be such a doormat. Men only do this because they ALWAYS find women needy and gullible enough to put up with it.
Tell this guy to take a long walk off a short dock, and not to let the door hit him in the AZZ when he leaves.
Show some self respect. You deserve better.
2007-11-25 17:59:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 2⤋
No, because although maybe an 'open relationship' sounds reasonable in theory and because of the distance, someone is always going to get hurt and the open relationship [or even so much as you both doing sexual things with other people] laughs at what a real relationship is about...trust, loyalty, faithfulness. If he truly loves you, he wouldn't need to have sex with other women no matter how 'meaningless' it is and no matter how much he thinks about you. He can't be in a relationship AND be single. He can't have it both ways. I've been long distance with my boyfriend for 9 months now...so I can say that I know what it's like to come from a situation of long distance. It's hard...but if he's not willing to be faithful, even if you "let" him, then it's not worth it.
2007-11-25 17:58:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Why do you feel guilty for his lack of sexual experience? He can't be that bad if you have already committed to the idea of marriage with him. That is a very bad precedent to be set in your relationship. It will just escalate from a few girls to , well I haven't been with a European, African, Asian, or Latin woman. Where do you draw the line? What if the sex with the other woman is so much better that he can't stop thinking about her? You need to think about these things. Best of Luck!
2016-04-05 22:46:57 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a guy who actually lives near you. Long distance relationships are fine but not with a guy like that. If he really loves you he'll have self control and wait. You deserve much better and so does any human being.
God Bless
2007-11-25 17:58:10 · answer #4 · answered by Edy S 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
No.
I think the two of you should breakup.
It's obvious that he doesn't love you or respect the relationship! If he cared about you, he wouldn't want any other woman regardless of the distance... if he loved you, you'd be worth waiting for.
Having an open relationship is just asking for pain and suffering in the long run. And, if he loved you he wouldn't want you giving yourself to other men either.
It's time to check the priorities in this relationship... because the relationship sounds like it's non-existent.
2007-11-25 17:54:28 · answer #5 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 8⤊ 1⤋
He is telling you that he is going to cheat on you and that he wants you to say it is ok to relieve his concience. If he really loved you he wouldn't even consider asking you such a stupid question. He would want you all to himself no matter how long he had to wait. No man who is truly "in love" wants anyother man to share his woman. I think you have a problem here, because he either is very sure that the only one who will be having sex is himself, or he already has cheated and you just don't see the writing on the wall.
2007-11-25 18:02:01 · answer #6 · answered by Mama Mia 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
The first question that comes to mind is, is your boyfriend in his right mind? If he isn't losing it, then could he be playing cruel mind games with you?
It is easy to tell you to leave him because you would feel the pain anyway, regardless. But you really must if you know what is good for you. His suggestion shows he has no respect for you. Your boyfriend is a creep and jerk, pure and simple.
ravishingV
2007-11-25 18:10:37 · answer #7 · answered by ravishingV 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What an inconsiderate a**hole!!! U definately shouldnt let him! Once u let him do this he will keep on doing similar things. If he cant hold out for you and needs to have sex so badly that he would ask u this he has no respect foe u or ur relationship! Break up with him! He is only going to hurt u!
2007-11-25 17:57:19 · answer #8 · answered by Stacey-Lee 3 · 7⤊ 1⤋
Hey
with current situations its better if you break up with him, it is best for your both of you
when two people are in a relationship together under any condition they should not sleep with a person other that their partner. He says "oh you can sleep with other man as long as you tell me" . oh come on that is just not right. thats disgussting. if he cant take it anymore ,break up
2007-11-25 18:06:13 · answer #9 · answered by aDotNETGuy 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Break up with him!
Sex with other people is the end of your relationship. He's not going to stay faithful.
2007-11-25 17:59:48 · answer #10 · answered by Posthuman 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋