I feel so betrayed?

Question

My good friend used to go out with this girl who I just asked out and am going out with right now, and he told me that she gave him a handjob and he fingered her and lots of other stuff, and I feel so betrayed by it that I am thinking about breaking up with her. My friend apologized a million times to me and I still like him as a great person and friend (for telling me and being honest) and told him that but he pleaded to me that I not break up with her. I dunno if I am just feeling betrayed by her actions alone or the fact that she never told me straight up. I am rly considering and want to break up with her for it (even though I loved being with her soooo much) and my friend is telling me that I can only value something once I have lost it and not to throw it away. I just feel so betrayed and put off by it, so I am just majorly depressed by it. What do you suggest I do? Pls all suggestions help thx

Answer 1

If it was while they were going out, then it was tasteless that he said anything, but it was when they were together...you should just try to forget it... if it was while you and her were together, then she's a cheater, and I would leave her, and seriously question your friendship .. ..


good luck

Answer 2

Hi. if what they did was when they were together,before you started seeing her ,then let it go ,it is in the past,have you never done anything with another girl? They have been honest with you. By the sound of it they did not have full sex so why are you so upset? Are you going to be like this with every girl you go out with,because if so you are going to end up a very sad and lonely old man.You have a girl now, that you like ,so she has a tiny bit of history and who doesnt? You have a good mate who just happened to be part of her history so what ?it is just that HISTORY so let it go forget about it and enjoy your time with this girl.You have not been betrayed,they had finished before you started seeing her.Stop feeling sorry for yourself i would say nearly every one that starts seeing a new gf/bf is aware that there must be some history with the person ,but it is life,it happens,stop being so moralistic.

Answer 3

get some balls mate. you're sayin you're apparent good mate done stuff with your girl and you still think hes a great person? Are you 12 years old? You should feel betrayed but maybe you should think of the circumstances. For 1 this mate done stuff with your girl. 2 your girl has never told you. You need to fix up and talk to this girl. Find out if its true or not. But if you're saying your good friend done stuff with your girl when THEY were together then your just an idiot. Nothing gonna get sorted with you being on your computer though

Answer 4

If it was well you were dating her that this was happening then all i can say that it is extremely hard to trust someone once that trust is broken, if you love her then make a decision do you love her enough to stay with her? Is this going to bring you down and eventually the relationship down? Does your friend still like her? If so he may be lying you will be surprised that people who think they are in love might do. You have to realize that you may never get the trust back fully again you may always be thinking what she is doing when she goes out, you will think weird thought and images of what in your mind she is doing over time this will subside but it can be a nerve racking days and nights for months but at some point it will subside not go away just lessen so that you can think of other stuff all i can say make a decision stick to it and never go back if you decide to make the final call.

Answer 5

And you say this is your good friend why????

Hmmm. lets see now... Guy loves girl. Guy starts dating girl. Guy and girl break up. Guy's friend now starts dating girl.

My biggest suspicion is that the guy you consider to be your good friend is doing what he perceives to be his best chance to break your relationship up with his ex.

The saying is "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." But there are a lot of people who clearly don't believe this to be the end of that particular saying. For some of them, it should be "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, unless the love you lost is now being shared with someone else you know, and then, it's gotta stop."

Did you give your 'good friend' the fifth degree and interrogate him about exactly WHEN all of this occured? If it occurred while the two of them were dating, then why are you so upset about it, now that it's the two of you who are dating? If it's because he got to third base with her but she's not letting you get so far with her, that should be considered a very good thing: that she's learned how to cope with guys who are trying to do things that might make her wind up a walking STD factory.

If it's because you and she often go all the way and your friend is now telling you that she went to third base with him the other night or something, did you find out if he did something to get her drunk? That she realized what she was doing while she was still on third base and called it halts because she realized in the nick of time that it was with him instead of with you?

Quite frankly, I am so convinced that you are not yet intellectually mature enough to be in a committed relationship that I feel your idea of breaking up with her would be a good thing for the both of you, but, then, into whose arms do you suppose your girlfriend is going to run? And if it does happen tha she runs right back to your 'good friend' what is going to prevent you from figuring out that it was for this purpose that he ever told you anything at all?

Just because a guy says he's sorry doesn't mean he isn't lying.

My suggestion is that you do indeed break up with her, with the very real understanding that your girlfirend and your 'good friend' wind up with each other again, and that whether this actually happens or not, you make the conscious decision to become every bit as concerned about their individual happiness and safety and welfare and healt as you are concerned about your own.. in other words, that you love them both, regardless of what events turn out the way they do.

It's very hard to do, which is why it's called becoming emotionally mature, which is something that doesn't usually happen in one's youth.

Answer 6

If it were me I would think about your so called friend's motives for telling you this:

a) he really did fool around with her and that in my book isn't an ok thing to do to a friend.

b) he never laid a hand on her and he is just saying that to break you up because he is jealous and yes best friends can have the green eyed monster inspire them to do some very not nice things.

I would check with her because it also possible that they did this before you started going out.

If it turns out that she did do it with him while she was with you then I would feel betrayed by both of them. I would be hurt. But check it out first

Answer 7

i do not understand why he told you and why your upset. He probably promised her that he would not tell any one but then he told you. If she finds out that you know the both you and your friend may catch holy hell. I do not understand why guys feel the need to compare notes.

Enjoy what time you have with her. I think allowing this to bother you is a waste of time. But if it does bother you so bad then you need to let her go. And never tell anyone else about this. This is how rummors get started.

I wish you luck!

Answer 8

Oh come on, like you wouldn't have done it too and bragged about it afterwards. Your girlfriend has had past partner(shock)! You and your friend know such a small pool of women that you're dating the same ones (genuine shock)!

Answer 9

You are so immature. You need to grow up and realize that what she did, prior to you and she being together, is absolutely none of your business. What you did prior to that relationship is none of her business. Mature people realize that!!

Answer 10

Seth, he USED to go out with her, get over it and enjoy your relationship with her.
What happened between them THEN has nothing to do with NOW!!