really can't stand watching nearly 80 yr old mother ignore my advice
she pees herself
doesn't take her meds right
doesn't eat right
sleeps on couch till 1 am
I know she wants freedom
but needs cared for
she fights so mean with me
her tongue has always been a two edged sword and now itrs worse
now she is abusing me over taking care of her
would love to throw her out of my home
but she has no money abd nowhere to go
at least til next Oct when her house is sold
can't get her to cooperate
she really and truely is a headache
watching her can make me sick
never saw someone so destructive and ignorant
she won't accept she is getting older and is no longer independent
she walked without her cane yesterday and fell and has big bruise on her face
[she looks like Rocky]i need advice as to what to do
have one brother who cares for sick wife
I have no help
last week she faught with the doctor over taking her meds and living not on her own and having to take orders
2007-11-25 17:05:53 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
For your mothers sake she should be in a home where they could look after her needs. She needs help, because she sounds like she is incontinent, and has dementia. For her sake look for a good place for her, she will be better off.
I would like to remind you that one day, in the not too distant future you will be old, and have a week bladder and dementia.
Treat your mother how you would like to be treated under the same circumstances,
Give her hug, love her for she will not be with you for to many more years. How have you come to a point that you feel so hateful towards your mother. Did she abuse you as a child or is it that this lady has become old, and you dont want to waste your time looking after her.
One day your time will come, it comes to everybody and don't forget the saying - what you give out you get back.
2007-11-25 18:05:37 · answer #1 · answered by Maureen S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
perhaps consider talking with her doctor... to see what, if any, alternatives there might be for care. sometimes a doctor can sign a form so that a patient will be admitted into a facility which can provide proper care... i see you are at wit's end, and it's not uncommon... you are not only frustrated, but you are also isolated.. i understand, i took care of my own mother for a year. it was just as difficult for her, too.
your mom's social security can probably help cover costs? I'm not sure if you are opting for a nursing home or assisted living environment, but it might be worth looking into? or perhaps you could hire an aide to come into your home for periods of time so you can get out.
you won't be able to "change" your mom, not at her age.. she's set in her ways, ill and not able to function as she used to.. this is cause for anger and frustration for many older people... and understandable.
you really DO need YOU TIME... and i hope you find a way to get some of that....
i wish you all the best, and hope you will get some good and helpful answers here. take care of You....
2007-11-26 01:14:22 · answer #2 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like your mom not only has some physical problems, but some mental problems as well. You might want her to be checked for dementia. Sometimes when people began this, they act out in different ways and if you aren't very careful, you will be worn out along with her. Ask her Dr. about getting some home health to come in and help. You can't take all this burden upon yourself. She may get mad at you, but you do what is best for both of you. Good luck.
2007-11-26 01:28:37 · answer #3 · answered by Dyan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if that's what she wants let her be on her own..... you can't make her do anything look for senior housing or nursing home.. your not going to get extra points and go to heaven to try and help someone who doesn't care tell her what her options are if you can take her to court and made her unfit....then have her put in a home.. but if shes all there give her choice. if you live here you need to do a, b, and c if that's not a choice for you this is next option......
sounds like shes really angry.. might want to seek out phycoligest
2007-11-26 01:19:24 · answer #4 · answered by Dana S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom is your mom regardless on what she do, she still is your mom and the best appreciation you can give her is to make her last days/months/years sweet on earth. Patience is the key factor here. If you become stressed out behind her, talk to her social worker. Perhaps they can assign a nurse to take care of her. That why we have home health care services around.
2007-11-26 01:24:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should be more patient. Fighting won't help. Take your time and do something that will refresh her up. She has the right to choose what ever she wants but her dangerous action indicates that she is not feeling loved. Remind her that!
May God help you!
2007-11-26 01:16:40 · answer #6 · answered by mimi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to go to social services and talk to someone there. If she has no money they may be able to provide a nursing home for her or provide some other help. Good luck to you and I hope they can help you!!
2007-11-26 01:11:18 · answer #7 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be stern and tell her to start taking her meds, listen to her doctor..etc. Tell her your the boss and your not gonna take anymore of her crap, yeah i know its your mother you cant talk to her like that, but you have to shes taking you for granted.
2007-11-26 01:10:43 · answer #8 · answered by vlad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋