my grandparents are heading down from manhattan next week and they're spending the holidays here...i don't talk to them that often only b/c we don't get along that well....they're really controlling and just arrogant people who think that everyone has to be the best...so well, recently, my grades have been declining, so they told me that i have no future lying ahead of me...umm....i was kind of quiet and my parents are pissed AT ME....but i don't know what to do...i love them...by all means, they're my grandparents, so i'm forced to...but i wish they would treat me better...every talk i have w/ them somehow leads to my two cousins (who are their only other grandchildren)...even my brother gets criticized...is there anyway this can be resolved? thanks.
2007-11-25 16:51:19 · 3 answers · asked by Coolio A 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
When the grandparents arrive, you greet them and hug them... and then leave. If they ask you anything, just tell them "everything is fine".
These people demean you and your brother (put you two down) while holding up other relatives as the benchmark. This is not encouraging at all. Those other relatives probably have their own issues, and these grandparents probably put them down too.
Make the point with your parents that any of your private issues, including grades, are not be discussed with these grandparents.
If these grandparents don't have anything to contribute other than criticism, they need to butt out. If they are planning to foot the bill to put you through college... that might be a slightly different matter... I'm betting they won't.
This is about boundaries. Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.
2007-11-25 17:06:53 · answer #1 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is how they are; you can't change that. But maybe you can change your response.
Most people like to be agreed with, so agree with them as much as you can. If they say you need to improve your grades, say you are working on that. If they say you have no future, tell them that you are confident your grades will be much better soon. If they say you need to study harder, tell them you are starting to do that.
Ask them for advice. Ask for advice about anything. If you don't like their advice, don't say so. Thank them for their advice.
Compliment them about anything you can sincerely find to compliment them on. You can always find something.
All this will no doubt take some planning on your part. Think ahead of time about what you could say or ask.
Have a sense of humor about them; that is essential!
2007-11-26 01:09:43 · answer #2 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well all they want is the best for you.. they just sux at telling you that.... instead of just loving you and stuff they push thats how it worked for them..... and they think thats best for you.... just tell them the truth.... if you are giving 100% thats all you can give.... but they just want you to be the best you can be.... so believe it or not the time spent with them is not going to end your life. just smile and be nice .... its called kill them with kindness.. just be agreeable and the will be gone home before you know it...... but your not going to miss a thing
2007-11-26 01:00:18 · answer #3 · answered by Dana S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋