question about self esteem?

Question

why do you think it is that i haven't felt attractive lately but i still want a boyfriend or someone to love ,i have been rejected recently and its affected my self esteem ,i look like crap lately but i still wish i had someone is that wrong of me ?do i have to start looking better in order to find someone to love me?please don't call me an idiot for asking

i have to say thank you all for being so supportive ,its like 20 or more friends each giving me great advice ,the answers are so good its gonna be hard to pick the best one ,thankyou

Answer 1

First off, if you feel or think you look like crap your self esteem is lowering. It is never wrong to want a special someone- people aren't meant to be alone. No you don't need to look better you need to feel better about yourself. Everyone has a distorted image of themselves because everyone is critical of their own appearance. You are definately not an idiot- focus on your personality and feelings about yourself before appearance. You should never have to change yourself for someone to like you-it wouldn't be you anymore- and it would lower your self esteem knowing that someone liked you because you changed (into someone your not) I hope this helps a little and good luck!

Answer 2

Self esteem come from within YOU. If you look in the mirror and you fell less attractive, do something about it. Change your hair, use make-up, do something to YOU that makes you feel pretty or more attractive. That will pick you up instantly.

Simply put, no matter how many times you ever get rejected, their are other ways to pick your self back up. A simple compliment from anyone, something you do to make your self look better. You have to find ways to make YOU happier with yourself.

You simply seek attention, love from another. That is normal and you will someday. Until then, find things to make you happier with yourself in order to show the men in the world you are ready and available. If you look sad, men will not come.

And you should never think of yourself as an idiot for asking any kind of question. You asked because you are simply concerned...

Answer 3

You're not an idiot, Breezy. Very few people go through life without asking that question at least once.

For one thing, don't think about getting 'any' boyfriend you can: Some guys are real scuzzes on the lookout for anyone they think wants approval so much that they'll tolerate anything.

You will want to try to fix yourself up nice though: If nothing else, you'll feel better about yourself. But don't fret about anyone's standards except your own.

Are there any activities you enjoy? If so, you might want to find a group of friends who share your enjoyment.

If you're young enough, you might want to get into a Big Sisters-type of program. It seems to me that you need someone who can mentor you, and whom you can unburden yourself to.

Good luck, Honey.

Answer 4

Well i dont think your ready to start look just yet...What you need to do is start feeling better about yourself...Who do you see when you look in the mirror? Do you see a person that is good and honest, one that feels good about them self and know what they want out of life...Until you can honesty say to yourself that you are good enough, no matter what you like like or dress like, you will not find happiness...Its in you to make things better, you need to start mentally and then worry about the physical...Why would anyone call you an idiot for asking this question, you have the same problem as half the population, dont worry your normal...Now figure out what it is in your heart and mind that's holding you back, this is all up to you, only you can make you whole...Be good to yourself.

Answer 5

No and Yes. It isn't wrong to want another relationship, but obviously the ink isn't dry on the last one. So Yes, you need to feel better about yourself, get out of the house, see friends, get a new hair-do and put a smile on your face. You will attract a new partner when you project a positive self-image and look like someone who a guy could get interested in.

Answer 6

It sounds like you're just normal. Society tells us that we need a special someone in order to be happy. I felt like that for a while. I read a book called, "Face it, You're Not That Into Him Either". It really put things in perspective. I was in an abusive relationship and spent a year trying to move on. Then, I spent another year trying to think only about me. That was the key. I'm very happy now. Most of all, just do what works for you.

Answer 7

That's actually just common..
You shouldn't sulk over the rejection. Go out, and have fun, and you're bound to meet someone who you like. And who knows, maybe a relationship will develop? And if you're not much of a partier, join some more school functions? Cute boys always collect up there ;) You don't have to pay too much attention to appearance, but look decent, do brush everyday and don't skip the deodorant. :)

Answer 8

If you feel better about how you look that happinless will shine though you and definitly get the attention of somebody special. Good hygeine is always a must. Maybe buy a new shirt or get a hair cut....anything to make you feel "hott". When you feel good about yourself you can get out there in the dating pool and make a good impression. When you have low esteem you dont feel good enough to go after anyone.

Answer 9

I typically have horrible self-esteem. Some days it's really bad how mean I am to myself. But, I found a man who thinks that I am absolutely beautiful and he tells me every chance he gets. Don't worry, you will find someone. everybody wants to be loved. Different people like different things in a partner, so I'm sure someone is going to want somebody who looks like you. Feel free to email me if you need someone to talk to. I would love to offer more advice if needed!

Answer 10

Everyone wants someone to love and to be loved by. That is not a stupid question at all. Rejection has a horrible effect on a person. Don't look for love because you will never find it that way. Love just seems to have a way of surprising you. I am sure you are lovable. Wait, because good things come to those who are patient.