Should I confess my true feelings to a guy that I broke off the relationship w/? We were both upset about it?

Question

We hit it off really well. It was like we were perfect for each other.He was what I was looking for in a guy. He is afraid of getting hurt. He's been divorced for 5 years. He is afraid of commitment. He has no kids & was married for only 2 yrs. We are 10 years apart in age. He came on real strong which I didn't mind though I was a little reserved/nervous. We were together from 8/07 to 10/07. We both have a lot of loose ends to tie in our personal lives. He wanted me to be divorced & turn 30. He wanted me to have alone time-from men. I ended it b/c he didnt always call me. He sent me text messages. We spent weekends together. One week in Oct. He let a whole week go by before calling me-he just sent text messages. He is currently changing careers-stressful. I found myself always staring @ the phone. He wanted to wait til Dec. to move forward. His actions were inconsistent which drove me crazy. I was insecure & ended it.He said I feel sick when it ended. He hasnt called-miss him

Answer 1

I think the fact that he only texted you rather than call you is because 1) he's shy and wanted to avoid being embarrassed, 2) is confined mostly to non speaking places like at work or in the library, or 3) does not want you to be able to hear where or what he is doing. I hope it is option 1. If so....

You did the right thing to break it off because he was showing mixed signals. But, if you like him then maybe it is worthwhile to invest some time in him to help him get over his insecurity. He has been divorced for a long enough time to get over it, and I don't understand what kind of conditions he was setting for you by being "divorced and turn 30" or "have alone time from men." Does it mean you are in a current relationship? He felt you were too young for him? You weren't clear. My advice is to be clear what you want from him and to really challenge him on being clear too, because you need someone with emotional maturity to be able to compromise and to be a partner in support and encouragement.

Answer 2

Ok, first step: Read "He's Just Not That Into You"

I'm sorry and I know it hurts, but do you really want a guy to tell you, (*down to the month*) what to do about your "loose-ends".

He sounds very controlling, and his stress full work life is no excuse for his inappropriate behavior.

I suggest working on your loose ends, and while you are doing that he can think about how stupid he is for letting someone like you out of his life. Excuse me, throwing you out of his life.

But just ask yourself if you miss him or just the idea of having someone there, which it doesn;t even sound like he was providing you with the proper attention a woman deserves.

And only text messages?! Oh I'm not going there.

Move on buttercup, he's not worth your time. And apparently he feels the same, otherwise he would take the time to use his minutes and call you (and hear your voice) as opposed to a 10 cent text message.

Hmm, 10 cent, do I hear a new rap artist coming out? Is this is big career switch?

Answer 3

He is still getting over the divorce and you may be as well since you mention he wanted you to be divorced. You need to raise your self esteem and go out with other guys, find things to do to find yourself first before you get into another relationship or you may end up with another loser. I will give you a good site to look at and it may help. remember that anything valuable develops in its own time. Pearls or diamonds do not happen overnight but are worth more when they are found and so is a proper person to love. Good Luck to you!!

Answer 4

The real question is do you miss him or do you miss having the compainship? Or the compainship you thought was there. What kind of relationship could you really have if he only texted you? Sounds like he wanted you to change things you just can't, I vote to move on. The holidays make us lonely!

Answer 5

dont ever let anyone have you staring at the phone, never ever ever.

if you really feel like hes worth another shot, be clear that he should feel blessed to have you in his life, and should know youll drop him in two seconds if he keeps up the flakey act.

go into the new relationship a little more reserved, but dont hold back too much. dont be overbearing, and dont remind him to call you. let him do his thing, and if that involves you, go with it. if it does, dont waste a thought on him

Answer 6

Maybe you should just give it one more try, if it doesn't work then move on, but I tell you one thing if he was interested he would have call you already, right? If I was you I would move on quick, let it go!! He's not worth your time!! Good night...

Answer 7

This guy is totally insecure,and he asks too much from you and you were right to leace him.It was just a two month fling and you should forget him and continue with your life.

Answer 8

maybe he doesn't know how to wor things he wants to tell you and feels more comfortable putting it in writing some guys will talk and not make sence and would not put things in writing maybe you should call him or better yet text him and let him know how you feel.

Answer 9

i think your reason for calling it off is dumb. you could hve asked him to stop texting and more calling. i would call him up and see if you can get things back to normal, but with a few changes

Answer 10

this guy isnt meant for u
peace out