In a new relationship here and am having a bit of trouble as to understanding why it is that I just do not like his kids???
I have been a step mom before and NEVER had this problem but with this new relationship I am in his kids stick their noses in Pokemon game boys all the time they are even failing in school because they draw pokemon on their homework and teachers won't accept it.
The mother does not care, father does not have them enough and personally I can go away when they are here but why is it that I just do not like them???
No I have not said anything to anyone I feel so horrible about it but it is how I feel?????
2007-11-25 14:56:31 · 7 answers · asked by ღKrissyღ 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I can answer why i feel the same way you do, and i've been with the man for 7 yrs in dec.
It's the anger and frustration at the mothers lack of attention to the children, and the frustration of not being able to fix the issue that someone else has caused. as well as the frustration of their father not picking up the slack where it needs to be picked up.
It's not the children but the situation, but it comes out as not liking the kids.
feel free to send me a message.
2007-11-25 15:15:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Maybe its not that you dont like his kids but you have a big problem with the serious lack of parenting skills. If I was there father that only saw them everyonce and I awhile I would still make a rule no electronics until grades come up, at least at my house. And there is nothing you can do about the mom, I feel bad for the kids because they arent living to their full ability and it is obvious that the parents either dont care or dont realize they are harming them in the long run.
Speak up about your concerns, address it once and then move on. If you cant get him to spend quality time with his own kids what will happen if you two ever have kids?
2007-11-25 23:44:35 · answer #2 · answered by mjoy2685 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the blame is in the wrong place. Afterall, they are children and didn't choose their parents. The parents are both at fault, if for nothing else lack of good parenting. Even if your S.O. only has them some of the time, it may be possible while they are at your house to get them out being active, focus on homework or educational projects. Its really not fair to dislike the kids because their parents aren't involved or trying very hard as a team to raise them and encourage their education. I would say that you will likely cause conflict though if you be too honest with your S.O. so just try to express your concern in a healthy way and a way that suggests getting them out, or getting more involved one on one will bring you all together. You are totally allowed to feel however you feel, but I think the dislike is a reflection on the parenting here - not so much the kids themselves.
2007-11-25 23:13:27 · answer #3 · answered by Sweetness 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
From what you said (father isn't with them often and mother does not seem to care), the kids are suffering at the hands of their own parents.....
Children of divorce have a hard time, and when parents are emotionally and physically absent, they get no encouragement, support or discipline, either.
It's not their fault.... take a good hard look at your guy and his ex... they created these kids.
2007-11-26 02:57:46 · answer #4 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I believe it is more of a problem with how the parents are not actually parenting instead of it being a problem with the kids. Your b/f needs to be more involved in his kid's schooling. Just because he doesn't live with them doesn't mean that he is not at fault for how they are doing in school. He needs to talk to his Ex and set up a conference for both of them with the kid's teachers and actually be a PARENT.
2007-11-25 23:07:40 · answer #5 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow that is a bad way to feel. I would suggest maybe taking them out and doing something with them other than pokemon . I would take them and spend some tiem with them get to know them. It seems like you are only seeing the bad in them and not any good. There has to be good in everyone and sometimes it is just hard to see.
So take them out tell them try to do something with them and see if you can make a connection or bond with them,
2007-11-25 23:03:18 · answer #6 · answered by crazziegrl14 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well why don't you take some initiative and pry their heads away from the games. try to help them with their homework they can probably tell that no one cares about them. just try to show some effort. or talk to your wife she needs to know whats going on with her kids
2007-11-25 23:14:34 · answer #7 · answered by ♥klove♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋