Me and my brother was talking about marriage. I was asking him since he was 28 if he thought about marraige and he said yes and he add that he wanted to give my parents (who are in their 50s) a grandchild before they passed. I was telling that it was a good idea but it's also nice to adopt. He said he wanted his own (natural) kid. I was wondering what the real difference was? I'm just saying if you love a child, why does it matter if it came from you or another person? Isn't love just that? love?
2007-11-25 14:47:52 · 9 answers · asked by Suzy Suzee Sue 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
i'm not sure i can answer that. my daughter was adopted and she is my own child and i love her dearly. she was not any more a needy child than a biological child would be. all children need love, stability and education. some people do not want or think they could love a child that was adopted. and that's their right. those are the people who shouldn't adopt anyway. as for most men not being able to love a child that's not theirs biologically i just don't get that statement. in my experience of all the men in my life i've never encountered but a small few who would say or really think this. my husband loves our daughter because she is our daughter. he's helped raise her and loves her and worries about her the same as he would any child. my uncles, cousins, friend's husbands, etc... have either adopted or have step children and you don't see any difference. never in the many many unthought through questions i get from people has a man ever asked my husband about not loving his child the same as if she was biologically related to him. it matters where and who the child came from only for the child. i think it's unhealthy for a child to not know where they came from. our daughter knows her other mother and we keep in contact with her. not having that person in our child's life i feel would be wrong for her. and not honoring the person who allowed us to raise and love our child would be sad for everyone involved. my child is a different race, she is hispanic/caucasion. we are caucasion. often we get asked what part of asia she's from. i don't see her as looking asian i see her as looking like our daughter. i would love a biological child no different than her. i might treat a biological child different the same i would treat another adopted child different from our daughter. because all children are individuals and need to be treated as such.
2007-11-25 19:43:10 · answer #1 · answered by cagney 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your right, it shouldnt matter. If he really wanted a child, and not just to give your parents a grandchild (which is a horrible reason to have a child), it wouldnt matter to him weather he adopted or had his "own" or "natural" child.
I myself plan to biologically have children as well as adopt. To me it's still my child either way and theres no reason to love either any more or less.
It sickens me the way some people view adoption. Like when people say that if they can not have there "own" they will adopt. Almost like thats there last hope. Like there only adopting because they cant have a biological child. It's disgusting.
Adoption is not at all for everyone. As sad as it is.
2007-11-25 23:00:27 · answer #2 · answered by J. 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i geuss the great excitement of having a biological kid is just the excitement of experiencing it with your husband or wife. i mean, it would be something you do together and then anticipate for nine months and you'll just get a better feeling like the baby BELONGS to you and is a part of you. I understand his point completely, but after the pregnancy, it wouldn't make any difference where the kid came from, an adopted child would still be yours just as much, you would just miss the experience of having it. The only people i know with adopted children also have biological children
2007-11-26 00:28:03 · answer #3 · answered by Liz 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I adopted my son and have no biological children, so I can't compare. All I know is that I can't imagine loving a child more than I love the one I have now.
Please don't say "children of his own." My son, though I didn't give birth to him, IS my own!
2007-11-25 23:31:04 · answer #4 · answered by aloha.girl59 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He has a right to believe he should have his own kid coz its his flesh and blood. But it doesn't really matter in the long run coz if you love ur child and ur child loves u then everythings perfect
2007-11-25 23:57:02 · answer #5 · answered by e 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
When you adopt, you don't have the experience of actually having a kid. Like carrying it for nine months and then having it. Of course I'd adopt if I couldn't have kids, but I'd much rather experience having my own kid, I might as well if I'm able to.
2007-11-25 22:56:00 · answer #6 · answered by S 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
There is no difference other than the selfish need to reproduce. Some men have a hard time loving anothers child - it is a juvinile, self centered view but if that is how they feel then you can't force them to love a needy child.
2007-11-25 22:53:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋
i agree with you 100%...my bio father couldnt give 2 cents about me....signed a paper when i was born saying yes he was the father & that was it..
i know have 2 great fathers who love me.
2007-11-25 22:57:19 · answer #8 · answered by Heather M 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
blood
2007-11-25 22:55:56 · answer #9 · answered by simon s 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋