Should I end it??

Question

I recently got engaged to my boyfriend of 3 years. I love him to death I truly do but he's going down the wrong path.

I'm a 20 year old medical student going to college. My boyfriend didn't go to college right away he worked at shop rite. He recently decided to turn his life around and attend college he is going to community college his mother is paying for it.

At first he took 4 courses and continued to work at shoprite he is a chemistry major VERY SMART...just doesn't care...he dropped his one class is now taking 3 classes and somehow managing to fail 2 of them!!

I'm really worried....his best buddy also moved in with him over the past summer and I honestly believe that has a lot to do with his downfall. His best friend does numerous drugs and my fiance is smoking pot. He has been doing it for 3 years but more so now....

I asked him what he wanted to do with his life and how he planned to support us he said he'd continue to work at shop rite and every 6 months he'd get a raise

I'm really concerend.....
should I end it and find someone who will do more with there life??

Answer 1

It's my experience that relationships where the woman earns significantly more than the man tend to fail. I hate to say that. I really do. If they're about equal, then not much of a problem. But they just don't seem to work if the woman earns more. You're better off pairing up with someone in your own social class. An MD paired up with a worker at ShopRite? Not much chance there of a successful relationship. It is curious that even though you're pursuing a medical degree that you still expect your boyfriend to support you. What do you plan to do with the income you generate? Donate it to worthy causes? It usually takes two to support a family these days.

Answer 2

Honey, you're a med student and he's a grocery clerk. In the future, you're a doctor and he's a grocery clerk. It won't last. He needs to kick out the friend. I've never met one pot head who had an ounce of ambition. They are the least motivated people you're ever likely to meet. Unfortunately, you can never believe for a moment anything they say. If he says he smokes a couple of joints a day you can be sure as the grass is green that it's more likely double that. Same with any drug or alcohol. He may be doing harder drugs as well. Maybe try a trial separation to clear your head. You are very young and your world is expanding day by day. You are going to have experiences he won't be able to relate to and the chasm grow s wider and wider. Don't waste your youth on the wrong man. This is it, no second chances. Be honest with yourself and do the right thing. You know what it is, you just have to face it. Good luck.

Answer 3

Sometimes we fall in love with the wrong person (love it's blind) people say!! Don't let that be your case, You DON'T want to marry a looser. I'm sorry to say but it seems like you know what you want out of life, he doesn't yet. You are a medical student so you must know what pot does to your brain and your life, move on!! if you want to have a good life in the future, you are still very young just keep doing what your doing for you!! and let him do whatever it is that works for him. Sweetie you have your whole life ahead of you don't rush it, maybe later on you can meet a Doctor, someone in the medical field like you, someone that you can have more things in common, then you can think about marriage and then you will know that your babies will be healthy and raised in a wonderful environment. Have a great night and think about it, it's your life and future!!

Answer 4

You should end it with him but I will give you another reason to. A statistic I saw once recently stated that in the fields of medicine and law there is over an 80% failure rate in relationships because when you finish school, your life style is going to be much different and he will no longer fit into your new world. You will find a whole new world of people and meet the person who will be an equal and not simply getting by as he seems to be doing. Good for you going into medicine because there is getting to be more of a need for doctors. One other thing that I will tell you, go to a health food store and get some DMAE, a natural substance that costs about $6 and is good to increase concentration and memory.
Good Luck to you in school!!

Answer 5

I am in a very similar situation with my lady. She is very content not doing anything, while I work, go to school and have every intention of pursuing my dreams.

What I suggest is that you let your boyfriend know that you are not satisfied with what he is doing with his life.
And his lifestyle will directly affect your lifestyle.

Just because you pledged eternal love 3 years ago doesn't give him license to slack off and regress.
His underachieving WILL hold you back.
Especially in a setting like medical school.

The head cashier at SHOPRITE just doesn't match well with the doctor.
It's not a matter of being "stuck up".--It's a matter of compatibility.

Let him know that you want someone that will not only motivate you, but someone that can understand and appreciate what you are doing.

Be honest.

As time goes on you will need someone that is "on your level";
and if he doesn't want to be that person, then you owe it to yourself to be free to meet that person.

Answer 6

Shallow Woman,

Why don't you relax, maybe he shouldn't be majoring in Chemistry, maybe he should pick another major, try to find something for him that would interest him....just because he fails in school doesn't mean you should leave, and allot of people smoke pot.. but i don't by the way or drink

You are a terrible gf, i feel sorry for him...thats really messed up so when someone gets down, you don't help them, you kick them and then get someone new...thats basically what you said...

he is smoking pot prob because he is depressed, look tell him to get rid of his friend as well as the weed....be firm tell him LOOK ***** GET RID OF THE DRUGS AND YOUR FRIEND AS WELL AND GET YOUR SCHOOL **** TOGETHER, CAUSE IM YOUR FUTURE WIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..break his play station and his tv if you half to....start calling his friend and be really annoying so his friend will just leave yall alone and that HIM THAT he is no longer aloud to see him... C'mon are you dumb or something what do you think marriage is like, its hard and allot of problems, you have to step up and take charge, you can't just move on...or you will end up in divorce...

Look be firm and be a ***** about it....and if your bf still goes back to that crap, then yeah move on but i doubt he will....

Try something like economics, is not that hard and you make allot of money.....

You invested 3 years, thats a long time if you leave you waisted 3 years of your life youll never get back.....So step up..show him who is boss, and youll have your old bf back in no time...

Answer 7

You seem like a very intellagent women with a bright future. You seem goal oriented with a defintie plan for the future. Your boyfriend on the other hand seems to be the polar opposite. From personal experience do not let someone elses personal problems divert you from your goal. If he truly loves you this will be a wake up call for him and he will change his ways, and if not you will see what kind of man he truly is.

Answer 8

Dear TinkerBel24:

YES! End It IMMEDIATELY!

Stay Focused On YOUR Studies
& YOUR Life!

Immediately BREAK Off ALL
Contact with this SLUG!

You are asking for Continual Drama
in the future.

Find another Med Student who has
a Profitable Marketable Job Skill.

Have FUN with many!
DO NOT get engaged until you are
thru with your Internship!

This is YOUR LIFE~
NOT a "Dress-Rehearsal"!

Good Luck~ TinkerBel24!

Answer 9

end it. If hes been smoking pot that long hes most likely not gonna quit. Thats gonna take away his drive to do anything ealse to better himself, and then he may even move to harder and harder drugs. Can you imagine supporting a family with this man, in five years, still working at shop rite? I say end it, but you have to go with what your gut tells you.

Answer 10

You can only take what he has to offer right now. Being too optimistic about your future with him, and trying to "change" him will only result in dissapointment. If you can't say yes to spending the rest of your life with him as he is right now, then it may be time to end it. I am sure that your history together has a huge influence on why you are still around.