It's been 4yrs, the relationship is going nowhere. I love him very much but he's still not willing to make a committment to me even though we've lived together for over 2 yrs of our 4 yr relationship.
Any advice on how to handle the break up of a long-term relationship? (no smart As* comments please.). We live together but in my house. How do I ask him to leave, kindly?
2007-11-25 14:27:03 · 14 answers · asked by <3 cats 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This breakup isnt going to end overnight. Its going to have to be a process. He probably isnt commiting because he doesnt think you would throw him out! So this might be a good wake up call for him. I think you should talk to him, one on one. Tell him that you think its time he moves out and your done wasting your time. Tell him your not pressuring him but you just feel like you need to move on and find someone else who can truly commit to you. be as nice as possible. tell him you will give him some time to find somewhere else to live. stay strong and firm. dont give in to him telling you he wants to commit. actions speak louder than words. Good Luck!
2007-11-25 14:35:21 · answer #1 · answered by amtech33 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no easy way to do it. You will just have to sit down and tell him your feelings and that you wish to end things. Tell him you will be sleeping in another room if that is possible, and that you would like him to start looking for another place to live. Don't expect him to move out over night, especially if he has no furnishings etc. Give him time to locate an apartment or maybe move in with a friend.
He may be angry, and hurt over your decision. I don't know if he expects the end is near or it will be a surprise, that will make in a difference in how easily he accepts it. At a certain point if he keeps bringing it up or tries to go back over the discussion, just repeat your main point...that you aren't happy and can't continue in the present relationship. Eventually he will get the message that you don't want to discuss it and aren't going to change your mind. We often don't realize what we have until it is gone...be certain you want a permanent end to the relationship.
2007-11-25 22:37:40 · answer #2 · answered by ScSpec 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seeing as you still care for the guy, you dont want to immediately kick him out. Give him at least 2 months to find an apartments of some other living arrangement. Just the same, you have to be clear that the relationship is over, or else the continued living together could make him think there is a chance that things can work themselves out. Be clear, but remain friendly.
2007-11-25 22:32:26 · answer #3 · answered by James 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well, you could just put his stuff out on the lawn and tell him to come take it or you will yard sale it. lol
The other thing is to just tell him plain and simple! Of course I don't know what kind of guy he is, so if he's one that will go off in a rage, then you might want to have someone there. Also do yourself a favor and to change the locks when he leaves.
2007-11-25 22:33:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have the "we need to talk" talk. Tell him point blank you aren't getting any indication that he wants to get married and it's not fair that you expect that from him. If he tries to say that he'll get a ring and marry you if that's what you want, then you know he's only trying to pacify you for another year or two or whatever.
No, tell him. You don't want to marry him now that you had to TELL him. It has no meaning now. Unless that's how you want your marriage, you tell him NO, after you made it clear that he should have KNOWN. Cause if you don't know you by now...he will never never ever know you.
2007-11-25 22:33:26 · answer #5 · answered by Xanadu 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
talk to him seriously and tell him what u feel and what u desire..
if he can't commit, then ur just wasting ur time ... time shud be spent in a very good and worth ways..
time can heal but at this time, u just need to help urself also to love more of urself... giving up doesnt mean ur a loser.. be thankful that its over rather than u have children with this man who isnt willing to grow old with u..
2007-11-25 22:31:20 · answer #6 · answered by Kiss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Play music constantly that relates to breaking up. Go to WWW. Breakupsongs.com. He'll get the hint.
2007-11-25 22:36:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
when he gets home tell him it isnt working for you and he has to move out.Give him a date to be out.He already knows why.If he wont leave have your mom and dad or some friends come over and pack his things.Dont let him use you anymore you deserve more.Good luck
2007-11-25 22:34:55 · answer #8 · answered by Debbie Ann H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take it easy, are you sure, look i don't know i would be jumping at the chance to marry you...just be cool and make it clear that he has to purpose or leave....
thats what i would say screw being nice, be cool and be direct be calm...have a talk with him over dinner and say look we gotta get married or you half to leave ....
2007-11-25 22:31:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
thats kind of like a divorce w/a prenuptial agreement without ever having gotten married..
2007-11-25 22:32:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋