Do you think I should send her the letter? Hubby's mean sister!?

Question

I have had issues with my hubby's sister, who hates my guts and here is an exerpt of the other day's events. http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ape_XwW5hYIHpcjhvVO8q_jsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20071120142256AAb5FyX
During which I didn't even get to respond. She just screamed at me on the phone accusing me of "excommunicating" my hubby from his family and accusing me of holding him "hostage" here because we moved 35 miles away and then she told me I am punishing her mother because I took him from his home there. He's 46. It's ridiculous. I wrote her a letter. I asked her to take it nicely and in it, since I didn't get to dispute her accusations the other day, I dispute them and then I tell her it's none of her business and that my husband backs me up on everything I say. To my face he does back me up. Do I send this letter to her? I think it will shut her up. Doesn't matter what I say, she will always hate me, but at least I'll get my 2 cents in.

Answer 1

You said your husband lived with the Mother until you two got married? If yes, is the sister mad because there is no one to constantly oversee the Mother? What I'm asking is, were the rest of his family basically using HIM as the caregiver for her so that it made things easier for them?
If so, that might explain the resentment toward you, but that is still not a good or valid reason to treat you so badly.
I can see why you want to send her the letter, but do you really think it will shut her up? OR will it just add fuel to the fire? You know her better than I/we do.
This situation has GOT to be causing trouble between you and your husband, and this idiot sister KNOWS that her brother is trying to maintain loyalty to both you and his family, and to me, if any of my brothers or sisters interfered with or disrespected my spouse, there would be no choice, it would be my spouse who ended up with the loyalty.
Backing you up is great, but it looks like the time has come for him to back you up IN FRONT of THEM!
Is he willing to do this? If not, then the continuous problem will then become his and it will require him to take a stand one way or another.
If he refuses, then you will end up resenting him too, and then the sister and whoever else in that family that doesn't understand that a man's obligation is to his WIFE, and NOT to his extended family anymore.
I know from experience, the solution to your problem all depends on if and when your husband has the courage and morality to put this nonsense to a stop.
Best wishes to you, and keep standing up for what is right.

Answer 2

I agree with Major Tom.
This old-maid will not let go and move on.
She is a needy drama-queen control-freak.
Don't answer her because it just keeps her going. She is creating drama because she doesn't have anything else to do. The truth is, nothing she says matters. Quit listening to her. She is a tempest in a teacup.

If she gets more dramatic or stalks you, consider filing a restraining order

Answer 3

If it was me I wouldnt respond at all. But thats me. The reason is because youre dealing with someone thats not interested in reason but only wanting her way, kind of like a 2 year old. Some people cannot be reasoned with. I say forget her and count your blessings that you got a husband who sticks by you because Ive seen many who side with their family over the wife. You got a gem there so forget the b*tch and focus on him.

Answer 4

don't send it...just adding fuel to the fire, they are ready have minds made up...next they will be saying, that you are talking and telling them bad things...next time she screaming and carring on...let her know that is why you moved 35 miles away.. and maybe need to move a bit farther....besides...do you really need to talk to them?

Answer 5

tell her to talk to her brother.
obviously if he wanted to spend more time with them he would.i can see why he don't.