Am I rushing to be in love?

Question

Ok I'm only 18 years old. Yes I do realize that I am young but honestly I am having that feeling where I only want one person and one person alone! I want to settle down. I have had my share of guys but now I am tired of these games. I want to be love and in love with one person. Is this normal! Should I take my time? I am in a relationship with this guy and I told him how I was feeling...he says he will do everything in his power to stay together....God is this normal??

Answer 1

If the feelings are mutual and you feel you have a solid basis for a long term relationship, go for it! Good Luck!

Answer 2

Listen honey fellow your heart! I don't know your history with this guy but I will tell you this. You have to take your time with these things relationships are no joke and marriage is a very big step. You have to think about how long you have been together and ask yourself some ?'s.

What do you like about him? How does he make you feel when your around him? How much does he love you and how has he proven this to you. And what kind of family he comes from can as play a good role. A man who has respect for his mother, will ALWAYS respect his wife. And think about this; What does he want? Are you two on the same page? Look when you first get in a relationship it feels like(OMG I never want to leave you!). But then as time goes on and began to learn more things about them, things can change. But if you still have that feeling then girl do your thing!


My bestfriend wants to add!
Coming from a single women, who has loved and knows so much about it! And I'm mean she really knows what it's like to be in love and how to make very good choices for her future.

Hi, I'm Kris
I just think that if you're meant be in love then you'll be in love. I fell in love when I was 16 and it didn't work for many reasons, firstly because i believe that i was too young to be in a relationship that intense in the first place. So for a while a gave up on the whole thing, but then i fell in love again when I was 19, and it was the best and worst feeling that I had ever experienced in my life. I am no longer with that person but I'm still happy that I had the chance to experience a love that was better than I could have imagined it. So with that being said if you really want to be in love you can't force it to happen, you just have to wait for it, because when it does come it will knock you off your feet.

Yes! take your time, it will happen!

Answer 3

Yes, it's totally normal. People fall in love all the time at many different ages. True love is something that can't be created. It has to be captured between two specific people.

You guys SHOULD do everything in your power to stay together! If you're both truely in love then you certianly don't want to give up such a beautiful thing.

Anyways, yeah, like I said, I've been in love to and at your age, just like with people virtually any age, it's completely normal.

Answer 4

yes it is, we all mature at different rates, just because you are 18 does not mean that you are not ready to settle down. The question is he ready? Men have a tendency to grow tired of a female and want to try something new unlike women who can be faithful a lot longer than guys because they are more emotional than men. I would recommend that you wait a few years and then make the decison to settle down, that way you can tell if your boyfriend really wants to stick it out with you!

Answer 5

You are very normal. Take your time to get to know him. See if the feeling last for more than just a couple of months. You need to know if this guy will be with you through thick and thin. You may just be in love with being in love.

Answer 6

your young. but if you feel this way, go for it. but, please take your time!!! think abt it before you make any major decisions.

i agree with Nicole. you need to have fun!! you wont enjoy yourself until you are out of high school and you meet new people when you are in college. have fun....take your time. if you rush, your going to miss some important stuff in your life.

Answer 7

only 18????
no its ok to be in love
i fell in love younger
and dont think that people at that age are too young to do this
they're stupid

Answer 8

YOU WILL GET OVER IT! YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO BE TIED DOWN RIGHT NOW! HAVE SOME FUN GIRL AND ENJOY LIFE, I PROMISE YOU CAN'T GO BACK!

Answer 9

Do what your heart tells you-- If it's what you think is right, then go for it!!! Think of the future... You don't want to regret anything, do you?
But don't tie yourself down... Enjoy yourself!

Answer 10

First off, to address your question regarding whether or not this is "normal". What is "normal" to you? Normal is such an odd termonology. If it is within what feels comfortable for you, is not causing you, or your life, any undue stress, and it is working for you, then it is "normal" for YOU.

We are each individuals and as such there is a very wide array of what could be considered "normal". I know that some people find it uncomfortalbe to rush into anything, be it a career choice, an education major/minor, love, relationships of any sort, purchasing a car, or an item of clothing. Now, it may seem odd to you that I focus first on your question of "normal", but you see my dear, normal is so different for many people. As I said before, if it works for you, and it is not causing YOU any discomfort, or not affecting your life in an adverse fashion, then for you, it is normal. Would the same be said for everyone? Of course not, life would be very dull if we were all exactly the same. That difference in everyone is what makes the world such a facinating and wonderful place to be.

So, if you can honestly answer that this need you have to be in love, and loved in return, with one person only, feels right for you, is not causing any discomfort, ill feelings, adversely affecting your life, and by this I mean not causing you headaches, or sick feelings, interferring in your schooling or work, or personal life, that you are not engaging in dangeorus activities, then you can consider yourself very normal.

Now, with that said, there isn't anything wrong with your wanting to be loved, and to love somebody in return. Life is about loving others, and being loved in return, about acceptance of self, of others and others accepting us. To be truly accepted for the whole person we each are, for the good and the not so good, is a wonderous experiance. By this I am referring to unconditional love, where we each know for sure, without taking it or others for granted, that we can truly be ourselves, and will still be loved and accepted.

We ALL crave that level of love and acceptance in our lives. Anyone who says otherwise is a liar, or abnormal, in that it causes antisocial behaviors. Babies who do not receive consistant touch, being held, hugged, rocked, stroked, die. It is called........

What I think you should be aware of is that love does not just occure, it does not happen right away, but has to grow slowly. Love is not infatuation or lust, which are the first two aspects of attraction, and the sad belief in "love at first sight. An individual grows love, they don't "fall into" love. Love, real love, takes time.

We have to truly know somebody to truly love them. If we don't know them, how can we say we love them? We can care for them, we can be attracted to them, even feel lust for them, but without really knowing who somebody is, what they are about, how they react in most situation, how they treat others, etc, we can't really know them, and therefore we can't truly love them.

We build deep and abiding love when we build the relationship. When we spend a great deal of time facing each day with our partner, our friend, and our lover. We get up each morning after sharing a bed, and eat breakfast, start each day together, and live each day together, and end each day together. During those periods of time we face many different issues together, as a couple, as a family, and in that living comes real love.

So many young people foolishly rush into marriage before they really know who the person is that they marry. Too many young people have the wrong ideas of what marriage is, what it means to be married, and how to be married. They have unrealistic ideals of marriage, unrealistic expectations, and that winds up killing the very real possibility of the two building a long lasting, deeply abiding love.

When people rush into things they tend to run when the first signs of trouble come along. Add to this equation the fact that many family members and friends would rather we stay as they are most use to us, and they tend to encourage the abondanment of a marriage, not because it is in the best interest of the couple, but because it best suits their own comfort levels. They would be horrified if they knew the real reason they are so quick to encourage an individual to leave a marriage, but the truth is the same regardless of whether or not people wish to face it.

There is nothing wrong with an eighteen year old wishing to be with one person and one person only. However, eighteen is far too young to be married, and with children on your shirtstrings. There is so much life has to offer you at your age, and if you rush into a binding marriage you will miss out on many of them.

If you are really ready to put aside all the many benifits that come to those your age, and to become instead somebodies wife, somebodies mother, then by all means do so.

However, take into consideration that you can be in a relationship with one person and one person only and still do the things you should at your age, without becoming somebodies wife, or somebodies mother. Once you take those steps your life is not your own any longer, but your husbands and your childs. Just as your husbands life is no longer his own, but his wifes and his childrens.

I reccomend you keep your current boyfriend and continue doing the things which will help you both build a solid foundation for a real chance at a long term committed marriage down the road. During this time you can both complete school, or a trade school, grow closer by coming to really know each other, and find out if the two of you really are compatibile together.

Don't make the mistake of thinking that just because "opposites attract", that opposites amke good spouses for each other. The fact is that the more a couple has in common, the better their chances of making a long term marriage work. When individuals are too different, those differnces cause stress and strain in a marriage, so it is of vital importance that you each spend the time to find out how much alike you are in your morals, integrity, your ideals on child rearing, and discipline, in how to deal with money, if your spiritual/religious upbringing, etc,mesh well together or whether they clash.

Spend a lot of time with your young man and find out who he really is. What seems cute and sweet today will be the stressors of tommorow. The little things do count. If he constantly leaves the tolit seat up and you are falling into it, later on it will annoy the heck out of you and cause contant bickering. You may think the small things don't matter, but they do.

I will tell you exactly what I told my daughters: See how your young man treats his mother/sister, female relatives, and other females, how he treats small children, how he responds to them, and how he treats animals. These areas are very good indicators of how he will come to treat you and your children down the road, after the first flush of being, "in love" dissapates, fades away. If he treats his mother and sister with love and respect, is good to them, you can rest assured he will treat you thusly too. If he treats them with disrespect, or a lack of love, so too will he one day treat you. If he is mean to animals, or even indifferent to them, it is a sign that he will one day mistreat you, or be indifferent to you and your needs. If he is abusive, he will be abusive to you.

All of these things need to be throughly examined and determined long before you committ you life to this man or any other. Once you have the answers to all of the above, and you are sure you can put aside some dreams of your own for new dreams, then and only then are you ready for a true committment.

Untill then, be patient with yourself and life. You have years ahead of you and to be miserable just because you rushed things due to feeling lonely would be a horrific mistake.

If this young man truly has growing feelings of care and love for you he will be patient and wait until you are really ready for that level of a committment. In fact, if he hesitates for longer than five minutes when you tell him you want to be with him but you don't want to rush, you should look elsewhere. Because anyone who truly respects you and cares about you will be willing to understand that it has to be right for both of you, not just one. Of course, reasure him that you want to be dating only him, and hopefully he only you, but do take your time in making the ultimate committment until you are truly ready.

Now, I married when I was eighteen, and had given birth to three children by the time I was twenty four. Do I regret my marriage or any of my children? No, I do not. What I do regret is not allowing myself the time to reach goals I really wanted to reach, namely to finish my education. I am still only half way to that goal, and my children are now grown, and living lives of their own. I only wonder if I would have done things differently had I known that I was giving up a huge portion of my own person dreams. I will never know, now, will I?

So, just be sure what you want, and don't be afriad of a little loneliness along the way. There are always people in our lives, but we don't always get to be happy with them, or with ourselves if we betray what our inner most desires are in regards to what will truly fullfill us as individuals, outside of relationships.

Also, did you know that the amount of money you can earn in your lifetime is quadruppled by a four year college education? Without an advanced degree these days you can earn squat, at a hard physically demanding and unfullfilling job, or you can get a two or four year education and have a real career where you are earning enough to support yourself, and fullfilled as a person in a way that is outside of any relationship. It is difficult to get an education with a child clinging to your shirt tails.

If your young man truly will do anything in his power to stay with you, then he will support you while you ensure you can properly support yourself. Women can't hope for a man to take care of them. If you don't ensure you have the wherewithal to take care of yourself, now, while you are still single and free of responsibilities, then you can find yourself living a life of poverty later in life if anything happens to your husband. By anything I don't just mean divorce, but death, as we don't know what the future will bring. When we are older and lose our husbands we no longer have our youthfull looks and bodies which attract many men, and women without the ability to support themselves find themselves in very hard positions. Especially if they have children.

So, honor yourself enough to take your time and do what is right for yourself before you add a husband and children into the mix. Bless you and I wish you all the happiness life has to offer.

Good luck and I wish you are very good life. Please have a happy holiday season.