Dealing with the "Are you saved?" question?

Question

I need some advice on how to *politely* deal with being asked if I've been "saved". I'm an atheist/agnostic and I have a couple that I meet in social situations (friends of friend from work situation-- Christmas parties, BBQs etc) who always ask me if I'm saved (and if not want to discuss in depth exactly why not and convince me that I'm wrong).

I want to be polite about it, but they are very persistent (to the point of feeling aggressive) and don't seem to really listen to what I say anyway. I don't want to lie (I have to be true to myself), but they manage to find me at any gathering we're at and turn it into an uncomfortable event. Since I enjoy the company of my friend (and his parties) I don't want to be rude, but it gets to a point where I'm afraid I'll impolitely tell them to back off. I also want to be as respectful of their beliefs as possible.

Any advice on what to say?

Answer 1

Whenever someone asks me, I just say "I'm sorry but I don't discuss my religion." If they keep pressing, I just tell them that everyone has a different view on religion & they are all very personal so to protect mine, I just don't discuss it. It's polite, non-combative & usually does the trick. if they don't get the idea after that, then I figure it's okay to be rude & tell them to back off.

Answer 2

Just say, "I am not and I don't like to discuss religion in public. I feel it is a personal thing. I'm not trying to offend you, but can we please change the subject." Honestly, if someone doesn't respect a statement like that, I wouldn't want to be there and I consider myself a (very flawed) Christian. If I were at the party and I saw an exchange like that and they didn't back off, I'd stick up for you.

Edit: Really, People! He's listened to what they have to say. He's not receptive. He's trying to find a way to be respectful, not rude. He doesn't want them challenging his beliefs so why would he challenge theirs??

Answer 3

I give a polite, "Sorry not interested" and change the subject very deliberately and with a big smile. ;)

If they persist, however, you really do have to sometimes be rude. You don't say if your friend is a Christian...just this overzealous couple. You don't have to accept this rude behaviour on their part, and your friend should take responsibility for making sure ALL his guests are comfortable.

(I don't usually like to get involved in religious debates at neighbourhood parties, but I don't shy away from an argument if someone is being a dick.)

Answer 4

As an atheist myself, I am constantly keeping my religious beliefs on the DL because of exactly this. These never end pretty. You're probably going to have to be pretty firm and state that your beliefs are a private matter and that they should respect that. I think that's the only way to get out of that situation cordially.

Answer 5

Hi,
First let me say that I am a Christian, in that I have accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior. It takes most of my time to take care of Myself and my family, so thankfully, I do not have time to judge others. As a Christian, it disturbs me to see and hear of others who "pressure" people, and put them in uncomfortable positions, in an attempt to convert people. While these people are filled with good intentions and, no doubt, care for you, they are they are taking the wrong path and are doing more harm than good.
While it is clear that they will continue to address you regarding your faith, you must confront them head on. Determine a good time to talk with them, and allow them to give their testimony, along with allowing you to give yours. Restpectful and intelligent people will be willing to have this discussion and will be eager to hear your thoughts and understand your position. If they cannot respectfully participate in such a discussion, then politely explain that while you care for them, and immensely enjoy their company and friendship, that this subject will, from this point forward, be closed to further discussion. I wish you and your friends the very best, and I hope that you both may come to a better understanding of each others beliefs, and enjoy a rich and mutually rewarding lifelong friendship. I ask you, and your friends to remember that 99% of our worlds problems have arisen from the inability to listen, understand, and respect others.
Take care.

Answer 6

BBQ's tend to be more relaxed casual occasions, so at the next BBQ if they approach you just politely let them know that you have considered and weighed the concept of salvation and that for you it is not a plausible concept, no offense to them but that system of thought will just not work for you but that you do appreciate their concern. You are rejecting salvation with eyes wide open knowing in advance what the concept of salvation teaches. After that I am sure they will get the message, if nothing else let them know that if they are really concerned for you that they should pray for you but to please not continue to approach you regarding the subject, if their God is real then their prayers will be answered and he will bring salvation to you with out their interference. I am a Christian but believe that those who are seeking will find you, (in other words they know I am a believer and will seek me out to answer questions or pray for them) for everyone else God has given them the freedom to say no and we should respect that.

Answer 7

I have been a Christian for many years - traveled in many different social circles - at work, church, in civic organizations, in the community, etc. - and I know of not one single social setting of where such a question would be considered nothing but extremely poor taste.

Either you are a troll - or you have the most bizarre social life I have ever heard.

I would say - "It really is none of your business and I find it quite offensive that you would even ask!" and then walk away. Being rude should be the least of your worries when dealing with such socially inept boors - I don't care what they believe.

Answer 8

As a Christian, I'm sure they just care about you a great deal and since "being saved" in their faith is a very very important issue (I'm sure you realize how much so to them) it is probably difficult for them to realize how irritating it is to you to be harped on about it. Politley and lovingly tell them that while you appreciate the concern, this is an issue that is not on the table for discussion anymore, and if this is going to continue to be a problem you probably won't hang out with them anymore. I hope that they back off...I certainly don't want a conciderate athiest such as yourself turning into a Christian bashing one. Bear in mind they obviously care about you a great deal.

Answer 9

They are concerned where you will spend eternity. As Christians they are trying to witness for Christ. This is very commendable. As far as you are concerned, they have witnessed to you, and you have rejected what they said. There is a verse in the Bible that says that if they will not hear you, you need to wipe the dust off your feet and move on.

Answer 10

"I prefer to keep my spirituality private."
(your spirit can be as temporary or minimal as you desire to interpret, even the lack of spirituality is a version of it)

if pushed, say,
"I guess it's obvious I am not as evangelical as you are. I admire that in you. Thank you for respecting our differences."
(evangelicals are characterized by a mission to share to message of the Bible, getting saved, etc)

Depending on your personality and style, tease them back, wag your finger and say, "ooooh Carl, I never discuss religion, politics, or sex in public. " (It is very bad manners and if your friend doesn't know this, help to educate him. Maybe you could tell him you've been reading Emily Post or your grandmother raised you to be a gentleman/lady, ect