My son often acts ungrateful. For example tonight he stayed with his grandmother, while his aunt and I shopped with his two younger sisters, to help her do some christmas decorating. He knew she didnt have a tree yet and there were some things that had to be done by an adult. When I picked him up he said he only got to do one thing. I said "well you got to do one thing!" He started moaning and complaining. I asked him would you have rather done one thing or nothing? He said nothing at all! This happens often. How can I help him be more grateful?
2007-11-25 12:12:58 · 14 answers · asked by brittany 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
I'm absolutely disgusted by almost allthe answers on here. Almost every one of them is talking about the kid like he's a heathen, assuming the mother is a saint and insisting on "conditional" parenting.
For starters, if he's learned something it's not because of him, it's because of his surroundings - either family or school. If you want him to learn appreciation, ask yourself how often you show appreciation to others AND TO HIM. I'm not talking about blind "praise" which is just as bad. I'm talking about appreciating who he is.
Start by reading the book "Unconditional Parenting". Then model appreciation by appreciating everyone and everything around him and you (yes, that means even when he's not there). If he says somethng accept it as how he's feeling. Don't try to change it by telling him to appreciate it (you can't force a feeling anyway but you can force resentment). Acknowledge his feelings and ask him questions so you can better understand WHY he's feeling as if only *things*, not *people* make him happy.
Do not punish him, do not reward him. Both are damaging to his pysche. Accept him and model to him generosity, love and appreciation. Give him more one-on-one time doing things he wants to do. Ask for his input and be open to whatever answer he gives you. Ask him what you can do together, then DO IT.
The boy is crying out for attention, not reprimands or punishment.
2007-11-25 15:01:56 · answer #1 · answered by The Organic Sister 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old is he? if he is 12-17 its normal.
If he is under 12 then he needs to have more time spent with him... my 10 year old godchild needs to hang out with his godfather(who takes him out for lunch, motorcycle ride, boat rides that sort of stuff) cause his Dad just sits on the computer playing World of Warcraft and he is just not giving the child any time at all. If your son has no stay at home Dad , or one that plays WOW too much, you might check into Big Brothers of America so he can 'do things' and 'neat stuff will happen".
2007-11-25 20:26:34 · answer #2 · answered by Tapestry6 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is a hard thing to do, but sometimes when he is complaining do not allow him to do the things that he wants to do unless he does not complain. Some children who have never wanted for anything, do not know what it means to be deprived of something they love. This is not a bad thing because it is good that you can provide for your child. If you make him go without the things that are important to him, it might help him to be more appriciative. This is just a suggestion.
2007-11-25 22:40:42 · answer #3 · answered by trhwsh 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I suppose that you can help your son to be more grateful by showing an example.. like you did by saying "well you got to do one thing!"....
He is probably going through a phase... and will eventually see things about life differently. Just give it time...
take care.
2007-11-26 02:53:16 · answer #4 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people don't have the guidance and experience to raise a child "correctly". Alot of people use the first child they have as a template to how they raise their next child. Notice that he is her first child. She's here asking for help because she doesn't know where to turn to and needs educated.
The best thing to do is what another person said, in my opinion. Take away from them until they learn to be appreciative. They'll figure out eventually that they have it better off than they think.
2007-11-25 20:30:49 · answer #5 · answered by Adam G 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If he says he'd rather have nothing at all start to take things away from him that he likes for example; tv, ipod, anything that he spends a lot of things doing that he really doesn't need but has anyway.
2007-11-25 22:07:52 · answer #6 · answered by madeline_hansard 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Take him to a children's hospital and show him how lucky he is and how grateful he should be that he can do things at all.
You can also let him volunteer down at a soup kitchen or anyplace to that affect.
Sometimes it is just normal for kids to want to do somethings they can't.
2007-11-25 23:51:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's at a selfish age. Try to get him involved in some sort of community service project to see that he can help others. (which will in turn make him feel good about himself)
The Pencil Project is a good one.
www.thepencilproject.com
2007-11-25 20:54:42 · answer #8 · answered by itsallgood 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
i am a believer in tough love. it is cruel to be kind sometimes.
one cannot act ungrateful if one just is ungrateful.
i would be giving him one christmas gift - a book - isn't there chicken soup for the boys soul? or something.
i wouldn't hesitate. he needs to learn respect.
he needs to live the lesson - not learn it
2007-11-25 20:58:37 · answer #9 · answered by electrick_dreamz 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Why is it important NOW? Why haven't you been teaching him since he was a baby? From day one I made sure my vocabulary included please and thank you to EVERYONE. If I wanted my daughter to do something I would say please and thank you. PARENTS are a child's very first and most important teachers why didn't you TEACH him how to be greatful?
2007-11-25 20:23:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋