Sex problem, help is appreciated, thanx?

Question

Hi,

I recently began being sexual with my new g/f. I am very very attracted to her and we are both very in love with one another.

I am, however, having a hard time maintaining an erection. She will give me a hand job and / or a BJ and I will get hard, but then when I enter her vagina, I go limp. It's very frustrating. My g/f understands and is willing to work with me to help, so I realize I am lucky in this regard, but I'm not sure what the problem is. We were using condoms and she said that, if it's the absolute last resort, she would go on the pill and we would have sex in the raw, but I'd prefer to not have to do that, and I don't think the condom is the problem.

Also, prior to meeting my g/f I was / am a virgin (I'm 27, old i know). I also masturbated A LOT and watched some porn (maybe 1/2 hour each night) and was able to c u m no problem. Could this have caused my problem. I will definitely stop if you think this could be part of the problem.

Thanx so much for any help

Answer 1

You have performance anxiety..Your nervous that's all,,you need to calm down and try not to think about so much..One thing you can do is orally satisfy her first..But I mean satisfy her make her legs tremble..that way you won;t have the pressure on you when you enter her and it will be easier for both of you..

Answer 2

I think the main problem is that your thinking about the problem too much, the more stressed and worried you are about it happening the more likely it will happen

Being a virgin I think you set yourself up into a sexual routine, watch some porn, masturbate and that was you. If you and your girlfriend have only started being sexual with eachother the problem will likely go away with time.

In the mean time while waiting for your confidence to take over you could invest in a c o c k ring. It is a ring that you place your pen is through and your balls when you are hard. It traps the blood in your erect penis and keeps you hard

good luck

Answer 3

Well first, nobody over the internet can be a reliable diagnostician when it comes to this...

... but I wouldn't be the first to admit that this problem is definitely not that abnormal, especially for a virgin who has recently had sex for the first time. Anxiety can ruin the whole activity, and then when you're anxious about it happening again, it's sure to happen again.

I think you just need to keep trying. You're attracted to her, you're not gay, and you're physiologically capable of orgasms. That's the only recipe you need. It's sure to work, but you might need to just keep asking her to be patient and not get too bent out of shape about it (no pun intended).

Other points:

1) Don't give up on sex when you go limp. These things should be rewarding whether you stay hard and climax or not. So do other things. Go down on her. Let her go down on you. Be sexual without banking on the ending. Make it fun. If you're banking on a certain outcome (again, no pun), you're setting yourselves up for pressure and disappointment, which will perpetuate your unfortunate cycle.

2) Porn is a funny thing. It can help premature ejaculators, but it doesn't lead to impotence (unless you're excessive). I don't think porn is to blame here, and I don't think you need to avoid it to accomplish your goals either.

Answer 4

Trojan make a super thin condom that almost feels like you're not wearing one at all. The problem may be the loss of sensation due to the condom. Try super thin condoms. Also, it's also in your mind. Concentrate on her and have fun with it.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Your prior porn activity could have something psychological to do with it. However, I really think you need to have a serious talk with your Dr. asap. Don't stop with the condoms & she should be on the pill as well.

Answer 6

Quit fu*cking telling people to see doctors. It's bullsh*t.
You DO NOT NEED a doctor. It's just like stagefright in a way. I'm not saying you're scared, it's just new for you; you're a virgin. The big life-changing moment comes finally and its hard to realize. Don't worry my friend, it'll happen soon. Guaranteed.

If one more person says "see a doctor", im gonna freak out.

Answer 7

Its prob the desensitization from the condoms. Wearing a condom really ruins the whole experience.

Answer 8

Stop masturbating ASAP, stop watching porno, live it, in no time you will be normal, you are addicted to fantasies, go to a counselor, you do need help, you gf is a doll, she does all you need to be aroused, you don´t realize how good she is, don´t blow it man, that kind of girls are hard to find.

Answer 9

well maybe the problem its you are still new to holding erections! that takes time... porn and masturbating has nothing to do with it you should try use your mind to hold off and see things work better for you.. read books about it!!!!

Answer 10

I have heard of this before....quit choking yer chicken...lay off the porn! you have the real thing! chill for a little while and learn to be with and love your woman before you scare her off. mellow out! she'll think she can't compete with your bad habits.