My boyfriend and I have been planning to go to colleges for sometime now, and so far he wants to go to this college and I want to go to that. He thinks that if we go to different colleges in different areas, things will be the same between us. But to me its like going to a different highschool. I can't maintain long distance relationships, its too hard. I'm so afraid that if he goes to another college he will find someone else thats always there to be with. And that thought hurts me so much. I've been going out with him for a full year now and I hate the thought of losing him. He says that we could just get an apartment together but I don't see how thats possible if we are going to be in different areas..
What do I do? Should I break up with him ahead of time to prevent any worse loss? I just feel like when we are away from each other and around different people, we may grow apart and I don't want that to happen. Please help me.
2007-11-25 09:37:42 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
So basically you're saying break up with him now so you won't have to lose him later, interesting notion. Girl why don't you just enjoy the relationship for the time being? When the time comes and both of you actually start college then you both can decide what you want to do where the relationship is concerned. Don't ruin a good things because you are "so afraid."
2007-11-25 09:43:40 · answer #1 · answered by Firebird 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's unwise to make a life decision (choosing a college where you'll be spending four years of your life) based on a relationship that probably won't last. In all likelihood you're not going to end up with and marry your high school boyfriend, and long-distance relationships at college rarely work, especially because you change and grow so much in your freshman year. If I were you, I would continue the relationship until the end of the summer before you leave with the understanding that it will end then. This way you can start college with no attachments to hold you back.
2007-11-25 17:47:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will either grow apart or you will grow closer together. You won't know unless you do go to different colleges. Plus, you don't know if you will be the one who will find someone else. There are so many other people out there and in college with different ideas, thoughts, perspectives, talents, and personalities. Go expose yourself to some of those and this will determine how mature your relationship you have really is.
Additionally, don't give up your dream college for his. You are young and need to pursue your dreams as well. Your independence and your drive will be that much more attractive to a guy.
2007-11-25 17:42:29 · answer #3 · answered by georgejetson123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your dilemma...I've been there. Relax and concentrate on your studies. Let things fall as they may. Both of you, individually, will find and explore new horizons. This is a good thing. I understand you care a lot for him but he's hardly the love of your life. Your life has merely just begun. Take my word for it...love is a very complex emotion that is illusionary, deceptive and much more than that tricky feeling you feel in your heart.
At any rate this is the most exciting time of your life. Meet it with glee and enthusiasm. There's a lot to learn and see. It is also the time when you will give yourself your best chance to direct your goals in positive directions. If things were meant for the two of you it will happen...but don't fret.
You can handle this!
2007-11-25 18:08:15 · answer #4 · answered by Robere 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
one i dont think you should ever give up what you really want for someone a relationship is 50/50 it takes compramise. his apartment idea is his way of showing you he still wants to be with u even if it will be hard. i think that even though relationships are harder longterm that if he really does love you it will work, he will spend all the time he can with you and still have fun at school. my sister and her boyfriend have been dating for two years and they are at schools six hours away from eachother, they talk everyday and every chance they get they see eachother and it still works even if it is just harder. i think if you break up with him now you will never know what could have been i say go for it and try to make it work if it does not work at least you put in effort and you can be proud of that.
2007-11-25 17:46:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going through the same thing. If you really love him, and know you could be with him forever, then you have to try. Yes, it will be hard, but the hardest things give the best rewards. If it doesn't work, at least you can say you tried.
2007-11-25 17:44:00 · answer #6 · answered by paige_12 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What about an apartment that is an equal distance from both colleges?
2007-11-25 17:42:32 · answer #7 · answered by Coolkitty 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can you not go to the same college as him?
2007-11-25 17:44:10 · answer #8 · answered by The Unknown Cullen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think if u really love him and dont want to lose him... go to his college..... or u could make a promise that if u have a long-distance relationship... that u treat it as if u and him were going to the same college....
2007-11-25 17:43:26 · answer #9 · answered by puppy_girl1095 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you want him that bad then you should go to his college. Love conquers all! If you really love him you will go the extra mile for him. Be willing to do anything for him. Remember that.
2007-11-25 17:41:28 · answer #10 · answered by GirlsRULE!! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋