Whoever has the best joke wins.
I dont care what kind.
just make me laugh
2007-11-25 08:42:46 · 28 answers · asked by TJ R 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
doesn't matter if its bad
2007-11-25 08:49:27 · update #1
What goes "ooooooooooooooooh"?
a cow with no lips.
har har har
2007-11-25 08:45:10 · answer #1 · answered by Presh 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Q. Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
A. It's not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.
Q. What did the blonde’s left leg say to her right leg?
A. Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.
Q. How does a blonde part their hair?
A. By doing the splits.
Q. What did the blondes right leg say to the left leg?
A. Nothing, they haven't met!
Q. Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A. Because that's where your supposed to wash vegetables.
Q. What's a blondes favorite nursery rhyme?
A. Humpme Dumpme
Q. Why did the blonde like the car with a sunroof?
A. More leg-room!
Q. Why don't blondes use vibrators?
A. They chip their teeth.
Q. How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?
A. Fertilized
Q. Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A. More headroom
Q. Why is a blonde like a doorknob?
A. Because everyone gets a turn.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A. You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
Q. What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A. The more you bang it, the looser it gets!
Q. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
A. Frosted Flakes
Q. What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
A. An airbag.
Q. How can you tell a blonde has had a bad day?
A. She has a tampon tucked under her ear and she can't find her pencil.
Q. What does the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common?
A. They both swallowed a lot of semen.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
A. Its difficult to open the legs on an ironing board.
Q. How did the blonde burn her nose?
A. Bobbing for chips.
Q. What do you call a zit on a blondes ***?
A. Brain tumor.
Q. Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?
A. So she can have a doggie bag for later.
Q. How would a blonde punctuate the following: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"
A. Fun period fun period fun no period worry worry worry....
Q. Why is a blonde like an old washing machine?
A. Because they both drip when they're fucked!
Q. What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms?
A. "Way to go team!"
Q. What do you call a blonde with a runny nose?
A. FULL
Q. What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
A. She slipped off and fell down the drain.
Q. Why did the deaf blonde sit on the newspaper?
A. So she could lip read.
Q. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A. You get to park in the handicap zone.
Q. What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A. Pregnant
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a 747?
A. Not everyone has been in a 747?
Q. What's the difference between butter and a blonde?
A. Butter is difficult to spread.
Q. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q. What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette?
A. Artificial intelligence.
Q. What do you call a blonde standing on her head?
A. A brunette with bad breath.
Q. What do blondes and cow **** have in common?
A. The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Q. How does a blond turn on the light after sex?
A. She opens the car door.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A. When you smack the mosquito it stops sucking!!
Q. What does a blonde say the last two words of the national anthem are?
A. Play ball!
Q. What do smart blondes and UFO's have in common?
A. You always hear about them but never see them.
Q. Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
A. Cause it said concentrate.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and the Titanic?
A. They know how many went down on the Titanic.
Q. How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?
A. The joystick is wet.
Q. Why do blondes wear underwear?
A. To keep their ankles warm.
Q. What is a brunette between two blondes?
A. An interpreter.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?
A. The brick doesn't follow you home after you lay it.
Q. Did you hear about the blonde that needed gas money?
A. She sold her car for it...
Q. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A. "Are you sure it's mine?"
Q. Why do blondes have bruised belly buttons?
A. Because they have blond boyfriends
Q. What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
A. Their both empty from the neck up
Q. What does a blonde and a turtle have in common?
A. Get'em on their back and their both fucked.
Q. What do you call a blonde with pig tails?
A. A ******** with handlebars
Q. What do you call a blond with a brain?
A. A golden retriever.
Q. What do you call a blonde in the closet?
A. The 1984 hide and go seek champion.
Q. How can you tell that a blonde sent you a fax?
A. It has a stamp on it.
Q. What do you call a room full of blondes with PMS and yeast infections?
A. A wine and cheese party!
Q. How do you drown a blonde?
A. Put a scratch 'n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.
Q. Hear about the blonde that bought an AM radio?
A. It took her a month to figure out she could play it at night too.
Q. What did the blonde say when she saw the banana peel on the floor?
A. Oh no, I'm going to fall again!
Q. How can you tell a blonde has used your computer?
A. There is white out on the screen.
Q. Why are blondes like 7-Eleven stores?
A. Open 24 hours a day.
Q. Why did the blonde throw bread crumbs down the toilet?
A. To feed the toilet duck!
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a pair of sun glasses?
A. The sun glasses sit higher on your face.
Q. Why do blondes always drink with straws?
A. Practice.
Q. Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
A. To cover the valve stem.
Q. Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A. It takes too long to retrain them.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a guy?
A. The blonde has the higher sperm count.
Q. How is a blonde like peanut-butter?
A. They spread for the bread.
Q. What's the difference between a group of blondes and a good magician?
A. The magician has a cunning array of stunts.
2007-11-25 16:45:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
A drunk walks up to a barkeeper one day and says, "If I show you a trick will you give me a free drink?" The Barkeep says "Depends on how good of a trick it is."
The Drunk reaches into his pocket and pulls out a frog and places him behind the piano. The frog starts to play the sweetest jazz riff the barkeeper has ever heard. He pours the drunk his drink.
The drunk, after killing his drink says, "If I show you another trick can I have another free one?" The barkeep says "If it is anything like that last one, you can drink free all night." The drunk reaches into his other pocket, pulls out a rat, sets it on top of the piano, and the rat starts scatting along with the frog."
Impressed, the barkeeper starts to pour drinks as fast as the drunk can drink 'em. After several hours, a big time Hollywood agent walks in, sees the act and frantically asks the barkeeper who it belongs to. The barkeeper points to the drunk who is passed out on the floor.
The agent wakes him up and says, "I will give you 1 Million dollars for that act." The drunks says "not for sale". The agent says, "OK, 100 grand for just the scatting rat." The drunk say, "deal" The agent writes the check and leaves with the rat.
The barkeeper looks at the drunk and says, "Are you nuts? You had a Million dollar act that you just broke up for a wimpy 100 G's?"
The Drunk says, "Relax, the frog is a ventriloquist"
2007-11-25 16:50:36 · answer #3 · answered by n 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ook it's a blonde joke but no one get offended. Ok?
A blonde and a red head are driving down a country road when they see another blonde in an empty field trying to row a boat. "That girl is so dumb!" says the first blonde. " It's girls like that that give blondes like me a bad name! If I could swim I'd go out there and drown her!
2007-11-25 16:49:23 · answer #4 · answered by nickfly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A truck driver sees a wh0re house on the side of the road. He goes in and slaps $500 down on the table. He tells the lady " I want your nastiest, fattest lady and a bologna sandwich. The lady replies " For $500 you can have 2 of our best looking ladies and a steak dinner" The man replies "lady, I'm not that horny, I'm just home sick!!"
2007-11-27 03:54:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A woman goes to see her doctor. after a few minutes of examination, he says, "This is odd - you're pregnant".
"Pregnant!" she replies, "I'm 65 years old! How on earth can I be pregnant?!?".
She's getting very upset and runs out into the hall, into another doctors office. "That crazy doctor told me I'm pregnant - I'm 65 years old! I have to have a second opinion!".
The second doctor can see that the woman is very upset, and asks her to sit down for a few minutes while he confers with the first doctor. He walks over the first doctors office.
"Did you tell that old lady that she's pregnant?", he asks.
"Yeah" replies the first doctor, "did her hiccups go away?"
2007-11-25 16:51:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is 6 affraid of 7?
Because 7 8(ate) 9...lol
2007-11-25 16:45:53 · answer #7 · answered by prettylarina1205 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
TONTO AND THE LONE RANGER ARE RIDING THE RANGE AND A GROUP OF INDIANS CAPTURE THEM. THE LONE RANGER SAY WELL WERE IN TROUBLE NOW TONTO AND TONTO SAYS YOU MEAN YOU IN TROUBLE WHITE MAN. SO THE INDIAN CHIEF SAYS THAT IN 3 MOONS, THE LONE RANGER WILL DIE THE NEXT MORNING AT SUNRISE.
THE LONE RANGER SENDS TRIGGER TO TOWN AND TRIGGER COME BACK WITH A RED HEAD SITTING SIDE SADDLE, WITH HER LONG HAIR COVERING THE SUBJECT MATTER. THE CHIEF WATCHES AND THINK OH WELL. THE NEXT DAY AT NIGHT FALL TRIGGER COMES BACK WITH A BRUNETTE RIDING THE SAME WAY? THE CHIEF IS NOW CURIOUS AND WANTS TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON. THE NEXT EVENING, BEFORE THE LONE RANGER IS TO DIE THE CHIEF SNEAKS AROUND THE TEE PEE AND LISTENS INTO WHAT IS HAPPENING AND HEARS THE LONE RANGER TELLING TRIGGER "POSSE, TRIGGER POSSE"
2007-11-25 16:54:15 · answer #8 · answered by ahsoasho2u2 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Name Tag
A blonde walks into a restaurant to get some lunch, and while she's deciding on what she wants, a waitress comes up. The blonde looks up and notices the waitress's name tag on her shirt.
"Gee, that's nice. What did you name the other one?"
2007-11-26 23:14:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A deaf man and a deaf woman get married.
A few weeks later they notice that they are having problems communicating at night in bed, so they decide to make a system, so the deaf woman signs to the deaf man " If you want to have sex with me then squeeze my left boob once, and if you dont then squeeze it twice"
In responce to this the deaf man signs to the deaf woman " If you want to have sex with me then pull my wag once, and if you dont pull it 50 times!"
Hope you liked it!=D
2007-11-25 19:12:45 · answer #10 · answered by ZingyPingy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What did the fish say when it hit the wall
Answer: damn
What is Snoop Dogs favorite weather
Answer: A drizzle
2007-11-25 16:56:55 · answer #11 · answered by Abby L 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋