Question about a persons last days... she had cancer and died a year ago.?

Question

I have a friend who was 55 years old. She died of lung cancer a year ago. During her last days her children did not feed her or give her any fluids. She asked (she was drugged) for something to drink and her daughter brought her ice chips. She wanted something to drink. This always struck me as weird. Hospice was there on and off during those days. They did not feed her... is this normal? To me, I would give anything to a person I cared about... what ever it was.

Thank you for answering... just wanted to know what was right.

Answer 1

I would give her what she wants. When a person is dying, they often cannot take anything in. The ice chips may have been easier for her to handle. However I could make her comfortable is what I would have done.

Answer 2

She was most likely on IV fluids but if she wasn't it is not unusual to stop feeding if the person is terminal and unable to eat on their own. In a case like that, it would require inserting a feeding tube which can cause a whole other set of problems and likely prolong a persons life that is in agony with no hope of recovery. She may have been unable to swallow or lots of other things. Ice chips are often given when you can't have water. I'm sure it was very painful to watch all this take place. I am so sorry for your loss.

Answer 3

Yes, it is normal to not feed a dying person during their last days. Often it is the dying person who decides to stop eating. It becomes too much of a burden to chew and swallow, nothing tastes good, and often the person is nauseated. It is common to give ice chips rather than a drink of water in the final days. I'm not exactly sure why this is, but it's possible the person could choke on the water, they may have lost their ability to swallow, and/or the water could make them nauseated.

Answer 4

i'm sorry about your mom passing away. you know she loved you and any moment you shared with her was appreciated. even when someone is sick they need some alone time, it's only natural you're feeling that you could have done more but that doesn't mean what you did wasn't enough for your mom. even arguing was not a bad thing. when people are sick doesn't mean they want to only be treated nicely. arguing is a normal healthy way of communication and your mom did not hold it against you. she wanted to be there for you and help you so don't feel bad about being 'self consumed' because i'm sure she loved worrying about you. even if you had done a million times more, you'd still be wanting those extra ten minutes. i wish you strength to continue this pain you're going through. don't regret what you didn't do.. cherish the time you had with her and know that she did the same.

Answer 5

If she asked for something to drink, she should have been given a sip of something, or at least some ice chips and/or had her mouth dampened with a wash cloth.

But if her body was shutting down, they do not give her food.

Answer 6

My wife's aunt died of cancer of the stomach, she was not given anything to eat or drink. She was on drips. The family would put couple of teaspoons of water in her mouth. This is because large amount of food and water would give her excruciating pain and caused blockage in her throat. So not to give her anymore pain and suffering in her last days, they did not give her anything to eat or drink.

Answer 7

My Dad recently died from prostrate cancer, he wouldn't eat for weeks and was put on a drip, as for drinking he even found that hard to do but we would give him ice to suck on, his last day he tried to eat and drink and we think that was for our benefit, bless him he knew he was dying but he still tried to please his family.

Answer 8

I would do anything for someone who was dying. But maybe if they gave her drink or food she would just vomit it which would put her through more pain.