My wife and I are in our mid-20s, and we always return home for the holidays. My extended family is all on my mother's side, and my wife has family on both her mother's and father's side.
This means having to visit with three families on Xmas day.My mom is working on Xmas day, so my wife and I plan on visiting with my mother-in-law's family at lunch, then have dinner with my mother and her family, and then spend a little time in the evening with my father-in-law's family.
My mother is upset because we plan on visiting my father-in-law's family in the evening, as this would be the second time that day we spend time with my wife's parents.
My wife and I are not trying to spend more time with my in-laws rather than my parents, we simply want to see ALL our extended family members at once, and then spend the remainder of our vacation with our parents. Are we being unfair to my parents? To us, it's just the nature of having three families to visit with in one day. Your thoughts?
2007-11-25 07:38:25 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Perhaps someone should consider celebrating Christmas on Christmas Eve. Talk to them about it.
That will give you more time to visit with each of the 3 families.
The other method would be to spend the bulk of one day with one family one year, the the other the next year, with everyone else getting a cordial visit before and after the big day.
Kudos for trying to keep everyone happy... but please don't stress over it. You don't need the emotional blackmail or control trips.
2007-11-25 07:48:22 · answer #1 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I have a similar thing going on with our families too. However it is my husband that has 2 families because his parents are divorced and both remarried. Then we have my family on top of that(parents still married). Everybody expects to see us. For a couple years we tried to make everybody happy and got really stressed out. We finally put our foot down and decided that we are only going to do what we can do and that we cannot make everybody happy. There will be children in the picture for us eventually too and we cannot be dragging them everywhere. So, that is why we have decided that way. Also, you may want to see if somebody can celebrate on Christmas eve with you instead of Christmas day. We have also decided too that we are splitting the holidays for now on. For example, if we spend Thanksgiving with his side(which is celebrated with his Father's family) then we will do x-mas day with my side and vice versa. It was just becoming too much to do everything.
2007-11-25 23:28:24 · answer #2 · answered by Strong Happy Marriage 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea splitting the holidays are hard expessially when you have so many different people to spend it with and want to visit.. my suggestion is that instead of going all the way out of your way why dont you have it at your place and just invite everyone over and have dinner and presents if you perfer instead of trying to make both familys happy just try and make yourself happy...And i think they should understand cause you two are just starting out in life and i am sure that you want some time to yourselfs on the holidays and dont want to **** any more people off...
OR you can split the holidays in half by seeing her side of the family on thanksgiving and your side of the family on christmas eve and than the following year your family on thanksgiving and her family on christmas eve..
2007-11-25 22:48:13 · answer #3 · answered by mommyandbaby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi there, well me and my husband go through it all the time. My mom gets upset that we go with the inlaws... vice versa. Its hard! And i know that christmas is coming up; so now we have to go through it again. My in-laws, are just really crazy they dont appreciate the holidays, thats why my mom doesnt like spending it with them. but i totally know what your going through. Its a pain in the butt! I say you should give an equal amount of time to all the families. So your wife doesnt get upset. I would try to let your parents know that you have her side of the family to visit too...
hope everything goes great; Happy holidays
2007-11-25 15:49:17 · answer #4 · answered by O.C MiLFy♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is very hard to please everyone. I can see your point. My husband and I decided when we first got married that we would not be running all over the place on holidays. We spend one year with his family and the next year with mine. Soon after I started to do the holidays and invited everyone so no one could complain. I would tell your mom since she is working and you are not able to visit with her it should not make a difference where you go.
Sometimes it great to go on vacation and not deal with all LOL..
2007-11-28 15:04:55 · answer #5 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋