Do you chat or wave with your next door neighbors?

Question

I live on a typical suburban street with regular sized houses on small lots, in a regular town near a large city. We have 16 houses on a dead end street. The funny thing is no one knows any of their neighbors.

When I moved into the street a few years ago I tried to strike up a conversation with the neighbors, but got the brush off. They acted like they were to important to talk to me. I have watched the neighbors and I do not think it is personal because I do not see anyone talking to anyone. I appears like everyone is ignoring their neighbors even if they are standing right next to each other doing yard work.

Is this suburban living in the 21st Century? Are people this isolated from each other everywhere? Or is it just me?

Answer 1

That sounds about like the norm, my girlfriend and I moved into our house over a year ago and we have never spoken to any of the neighbors. I will wave if they are driving by but that's about it.

Answer 2

I'm 50 years old, so I've been around a while and I can tell you first hand that this behavior has only reared its ugly head in the last 10-15 years. It's not a city/suburban phenomenon either because I was born and raised in Detroit...a HUGE metropolis and everyone knew everyone by first and last name, phone numbers, etc...

NOW, I've been living in a townhouse for the last seven years, and I honestly only know the people that live directly to the left and right of me. Even walking through the small complex...very few people wave, let alone even lift their heads to make eye contact. It's ridiculous.

I really do think that society is becoming more isolated from each other...and I don't' really know why...or see it ending any time soon.....(sigh).

Answer 3

I think a lot depends on where you live. If you live in an area where people commute mostly to work. they come home and live their life and leave no time to get to know their neighbours. I am lucky to have a nice family live next door, and we've come to get to know each other over the year and half they've lived here. Other than them, most of the others in the area don't do much but nod and say hello. And yes, it's part of modern living, unfortuately. Gone are the days when you knew everyone on the street and people socialized. In a world where there are more ways to keep in touch, we really suck at keeping in touch on a truly personal level.

Answer 4

Haven't ever lived in a neighborhood like that. In our last neighborhood almost everyone knew everyone. We had community parties and girl's nights out. We shared tools and snow blowers. That community had 60 homes. We are in a much larger community now and only have been here for 3 months and already have met neighbors. The community also has parties at our clubhouse and we met several neighbors at the pool. You might just have to try a little harder. Throw a party and invite everyone.

Answer 5

I just moved to a very small mountain town from a large city - your experience is a city phenomenon. Up here, everyone watches out for everyone else, talks to each other, and at the very least waves.

EDIT - just moved out a midwestern city, and only met one neighbor who'd lived there as long as us the week we moved away. As I said, city experience.

Answer 6

Honestly your situation works out for the best... If you get too close to the neighbors you will have problems. Also if you were ever wanting to complain to them about their behavior ( or kids) or sue you won't feel personal about it. I'm sure if you have a fire or another emergency they would call the authorities for you.
You must also remember houses cost a lot of money now days.... So people have to work very hard.They also may have long commutes, children,aging parents, and noise to contend with.They are plain tired when they get home to the sanctuary of their home. The last thing they want is to have to "wave" hi to a neighbor.

Answer 7

Neighbors can be a PITA. Visiting unexpectedly, watching out of nosiness, etc. However, I had a neighbor that we constantly randomly borrowed an egg or cup of sugar (or a lime). She moved & i miss that. My new neighbor is super-sweet, but he can TALK. I dont mind it, but If I'm late for school or work its hard to disengage. I've been lucky in my apartment- we speak & chat, and RESPECT.

Answer 8

I like to know my neighbors enough that we feel comfortable calling on each other if we should need anything and to have the occasional chat if we are getting our mail at the same time, but that is about as far as it goes.

I relish my privacy and don't need to be best friends with my neighbors - it's good to have a bit of a wall around you, just make sure the proverbial door is always open if they should need anything.

Oh, and don't date a neighbor. Bad bad idea.

Answer 9

In the midwest, we like to get to know our neighbors and have found most people friendly and helpful, in general.

In one neighborhood, the parents sent their school-aged sons out to help an elderly neighbor shovel out after a blizzard and they got to know one another through an act of kindness.

People tend to bond through mutual interests and needs. Who on your block has a dog? What about hobbyist gardeners? Joggers/walkers? Car enthusiasts?

Start with your next door neighbors and branch out OR start with someone with whom you have something obvious in common (same-age kids?)

When in the neighborhood, do as the neighbors do...

Answer 10

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