Should I be upset?

Question

Boyfriend's past?
I am 14, and my bf is 15. I know we're young but I trust him with all my heart. I love him, he loves me. We're so close I can tell him EVERYTHING (including my past sexual abuse). I thought we were really close and really good together considering how young we both are. Today he told me something about his past (I thought he was perfect).

I have been his really good friend since we were twelve and then he asked me to be his gf (kinda cute :D) when we were 13. 1 1/2 years is pretty long to be together (considering age) and like another year of friendship!!! Today he told me that from when he was 12 through 13 he had internet relationships with 15 girls!!! Not only a relationship, he doubled timed them, and had Internet/ Instant Message SEX with them like 4 TIMES A WEEK! Remember we were really good friends at the time and I thought he was perfect and now we're bf/gf. IT WAS GRAPHIC AND HAPPENED AT SUCH A YOUNG AGE. Is it reasonable for me to be upset?

ALSO consider mine AND HIS beliefs that you can't go "part way" with sex. Even though he did it on the internet, he ADMITS that he had SEX, GRAPHIC SEX with 15 girls while at the same time he had a crush on me, and we would soon be gf/bf. He told me before that I was HIS FIRST GIRLFRIEND! He refers to THOSE INTERNET SLUTS AS HIS OLD GIRFRIENDS. I THOUGHT I WAS THE FIRST???? Please help me, I'm really upset, and I need to know if I have to right to be.

okay to those who are going to be mean: just stfu because i don't know you guys, and you don't know anyone i know. So who cares if you tell somebody you know that some girl on the internet has been sexually abused! I don't want people i actually KNOW to know about it. That's why its special i told him!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

You have a right to be upset, but not with him. You had very little influence on him back then, and any single guy would jump at the chance of doing what he did with 15 girls.

Plus, just be glad that he's told you, it shows how much he trusts you and how solid he thinks you both are (he would never have said anything if he thought you would dump him afterwards).

If I was you, talk to him and tell him how you feel, but avoid any arguments, because after all it is in the past, and the fact that the past can never be changed will just make it worse.

Answer 2

That's deep, especially at his age. You have every reason in the world to be upset and just as much if you broke up with him. Considering his age, he's a cheater with training wheels. This is just a younger version of a man who would meet up with women and have sex with them in person. If you want a brighter future for yourself you have to let him go. He clearly has some issues that even you as a friend cannot mend until he seeks help. Don't give him any credit for his honesty because with all that information he was basically doing you wrong. I'm sure you probably aren't considering breaking up with him right now, but you really really need to, I'm serious. I don't usually tell people that, but you are too young to have him ruin your future, which is what will happen if you stay with him. You two may have been together for years, but keep in mind that you weren't the only one before you guys were together. It's surprising that he would suddenly end his relationship with 15 girls all at once before getting together with you, but you never know. Lord knows what he would do with women he knows in person. You are obviously smart because you know this is an issue. Just keep an open eye and really know whether or not he's chatting with anyone today.

Answer 3

1. What's so special about sharing your sexual abuse with him, you just told millions of strangers on the internet? Does that still make it special?

2. It was internet, fantasy sex. He never actually had sex with them, what is your problem? He had no commitment with you at the time, it's really none of your business.

Answer 4

dont be mad at him for something that he did when he WASNT EVEN DATING U... the past is the past.... yall had nothing going at that time... and obviously ur (sexual abuse) is something u tell a lot of people so it isnt that special.... and im thinkin u should really forget about that E-SEX thang becuz he never really HAD SEX with them... if it was over the internet... so just forget about it.... unless hes doing it to u now... thats called cheating... and i always say once a cheater always a cheater... and if hes doing it now... id dump him