when someone needs to find oneself?

Question

My bf and I took a week off of eachother because i wanted him to see if he really loved me and wanted our relationship b/c he was down and so forth. He came back to me saying that he feels like he has something pressuring him that he needs to do. He father died a year ago and he has been struggling since. I told him that that is what love is for. That if he wants this unique love we can work through it together. I can be there and on his own with me it can happen. He asked if we were to take 6 months off would i wait. I said No. I am 33 and he is 29. I told him I believe its greiving and that without love you can't really overcome anything. He said he wants to try with us and work on it. Should I just let him go?

the things he said that pressure him are like travelling , working on a bike, adn things he is unaware of. I told him he can do that with someone. I don't have to do them with him. He can sort things out and grieve with me. Was that wrong? He said he loves me very much but should i let him go?

Answer 1

I like you, your smart, now enough sucking up.....

You almost see a great bit of wisdom. But realize it isn't the love thats going to help him, you giving him love isn't the point. You helping him to understand his FEELINGS is the point. You almost got that. But if you tell him something so cliche' as love is here for us to work past that, you'd loss most man. That aside, life is a struggle, relationships are a stuggle, and no mans an island. But this runs deep your 33 years old, this comes down ALOT to your purpose in life. I see you wanting to help him, but you cut yourself short, you act like all a 33 year old needs is to help some guy get thru his drama. I'm 26 years old, and I only see my needs getting stronger, not weaker. You need to work on you, in other words, this relationship might just not be what you need. Besides you feel it, his fathers death should of been a reason to try to bring you in, apparently thats not what he wants. And trust you need more then what he can give you in this state. So its your purpose, I can't dectate moriality about different purposes in life, because that makes me look like I know the right purpose to have, I don't. So find that in yourself and use it, and figure out weather this is worth it for you to fight for or not.

Just know, that its about acceptance and understanding, not hugs and kisses......