Dealing with a death?

Question

My 15 year old cousin died the day before Thanksgiving in a terrible car accident and I'm having a hard time dealing with it. Because of my religion (LDS) I have no problem knowing that I will see her again, but I just can't seem to forget. I'm worried about her family, especially her father, and I don't know how i'm going to be able to handle her funeral on thursday. How were you comforted by a family member's death?

Answer 1

In your personal prayers, ask for help. Ask for comfort and the blessing of remembering the joy you had in the relationship. As for the funeral -- again - personal prayer. Ask for the spirit to be with you as you share your condolences with her family -- prepare yourself and you may have the opportunity to have the spirit work through you to bring comfort to them.

Answer 2

It varies. In the case of my grandmother's death, I was comforted by the fact that she was no longer in the pain she had endured for years.

But in the case of a young person who had a terrible accident, it's more difficult to find comfort. My best friend in high school was shot to death by three kids from another school who wanted to take his car. It was completely senseless and very hard to find any comfort in the event. His parents were of course particularly devastated.

The only thing I can suggest is to hang on to the idea that you will see each other again, and help to comfort your family members by being with each other and expressing concern for one another. Sometimes you can find a way to bring something good out of the bad event for the future, such as starting a campaign to prevent the kind of accident your cousin experienced.

Best wishes to you.

Answer 3

I'm LDS, and I think there's a difference between knowing what we know about death and feeling after the family members of the one who died. You're not supposed to forget, you're supposed to remember your cousin and remember where they are. The best thing I know to do is to pray for your cousin's immediate family - yourself included. Call the temple tomorrow (or the next day it's open) and put your cousin's families names on the prayer roll. You can put it as (Cousin's Father's name) & (Cousin's Mother's name) and family, or you can name each family member.
It sounds like you were very close to her. I think just reflecting on the knowledge we have about what happens on the other side, and reading the last section of D&C, and just doing a lot of praying helps. Also, maybe if you are a journaler, journaling your feelings and memories of her.
My heartfelt condolences for your loss. Rely on Him.

Answer 4

Hello Karen,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

The funeral of course will be difficult. But it will also begin your healing. When you arrive, just let yourself feel, and talk to people, and hug, and cry--all you need to. Let others console you--they will.

And let yourself console the family. They will love and respect you dearly for it. Just say, "I am sorry for your loss," or similar. Hug them. Cry in the front of them, if you need to. It's all ok.

At my father's funeral, the simplest of words and gestures from loved ones helped so much. Acquaintenances also helped. One person I barely knew came up to me, said he was sorry for my loss, and then told me, "I know exactly what you're going through. My mother died last year." His words meant so much to me: he understands, he has been there, and he feels my sorrow. I remember his words the most, and they comforted me the most, and I barely knew him.

When the funeral ends, you will all meet at a church, a private home, or elsewhere. Food will be served. Eat even if you don't feel like it, as doing so will help you feel a little better. People there will talk quietly, and some of the intense outward grieving will have subsided.

As time goes on, your intense sadness will slowly fade, not completely of course, but mostly it will be replaced by the gladness of you knowing and loving your cousin.

The family will need to be consoled into the future. Don't be afraid to bring up the name of your cousin to them. They want her remembered. And they will cherish you even more for you showing your love for her, even after she is gone.

God bless you. Take care,
CycleMan

Answer 5

Wow, that's hard, and I'm very sorry for your family to have such a tragedy. The funeral will be tough but I guess the best thing is to cling to others in your family and hold each other up as best you can. And be sure that everyone checks on her Dad to make sure he's okay. I understand that losing a child is one of the hardest things. Best to everyone in your family.

Answer 6

I had to watch while my youngest, my 18-year-old son, died of cancer in just 10 months -- from first diagnosis to death. That was painful for me but only because it was painful for him and because, of course, I would miss him terribly -- as any loving parent would. But my comfort was that, because of my Biblical knowledge of who God is, I did not have to question God in all of it. I knew that my son merely fell asleep in Jesus, until the resurrection, and had no more knowledge of the passage of time -- neither on earth, nor in Heaven, nor in that non-existent place called "hell." I don't forget him (it's only been 5 years) and I still cry if I think about him and miss him, but I'll see him again.

Answer 7

Three days after my 11th Birthday my 7 year old sister passed away with Cancer. I had the same hope as you, I still do, and I am sure that one day I will see her again in heaven. I know that she is dancing in Heaven with her father. My parents were actually the ones who had the worst time, but I believe I helped bring them hope by saying this: "Each day the memories seem to fading. It seems like she is getting farther away from us. But each day we are actually coming closer to her."
Just give them a hug and tell them you care for them. Tell them it's not the end. Bring them the hope they need.

Answer 8

you are not meant to forget. pray for comfort for her family and for you and ask God to give you peace to endure the funeral. it is normal to think of her all the time, and miss her a lot and cry because of her absence in your life. time will make it easier, by time I mean months or years. Its ok to never "get over it". we are not meant to forget anyone.

Answer 9

its natural to look for comfort and releif, but sometimes there isnt any, and you must wade through the grief. what happened was tragic, and its hurts terribly. there will be no words to comfort, just be there for each other and treasure those who remain.
there is a healthy process for grief, and you cant bypass the steps. passing time will give the most releif.

Answer 10

different than for acknowledging the reality that i will ultimately adventure loss of existence I in simple terms use the coping technique of actuality meaning I in simple terms settle for the reality of it, I nicely known the reality that no-ones immortal and our lifespan has to fulfill an lead to some unspecified time interior the destiny, additionally i might think of concerning the way they died, if thier loss of existence became out to be rapid then i might think of that it may've been alot worse for them if it have been dragged on and that they suffered for a greater huge volume of time, in the event that they did go through for a protracted volume of time in the previous thier loss of existence i might view thier loss of existence as a probable end to thier sufffering. And theres additionally the reality that i've got saved the techniques of the persons i comprehend and/or who're on the element of me interior the confines of my own techniques regardless of thier loss of existence.