What do you think of the vow to "love, honor and OBEY" that women sometimes say in Christian weddings?
And - what do you think of the father giving away his daughter to the groom?
Are these two chauvinistic and outdated or romantic and sweet?
What would/did you do in your wedding?
2007-11-25 04:03:48 · 15 answers · asked by Serena d 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
My husband and I wrote our own vows, and did not include anything that would hint at one of us being better than the other or having more influence. We both recited the exact same vows to each other. It meant a lot more to us that way anyhow.
We got married in the desert, so it was a very non-traditional wedding anyway, but I did not have my Dad give me away. He was there to support me like everyone else, and I wasn't his property to give away in the first place. :)
2007-11-25 07:08:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
We had OBEY in our vows, simply because we understand the true meaning and intention of using the the word in the vows! It's not what people joke about... It has a serious, religious, personal meaning for us.
The concept of the father giving the bride away - I'm not averse to girls doing this, because it's a lovely tradition.
We didn't do that - my husband and I walked into the church together, symbolizing our independence and us coming into the marriage together as equal partners. Now, we didn't know it at the time, but turns out that this is a very old tradition in our religion/culture! So it was very cool.
2007-11-26 02:53:43 · answer #2 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obey was taken out a long time ago and replaced with Cherish. I've never seen obey used. As for the father giving away the bride I think it's romantic and gives the father a prominent role in his daughter's wedding.
2007-11-25 04:09:54 · answer #3 · answered by mysteryperson 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I cut the word "obey" from my vows and both my husband and I promised to "love, honor and respect" each other. I had both of my parents give me away. I had a traditional Catholic mass with some traditional and some personal vows (ones that my husband and I wrote).
I think your ceremony and vows should center around your beliefs and you should work with your minister/priest to rewrite some of the things you may feel are outdated.
Good luck!
2007-11-25 04:09:50 · answer #4 · answered by WxEtte 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had my dad walk me down the aisle, because it was the right thing to do. There is no point insulting people because someone is a raving feminist. The obey thing wasn't an issue because the priest never even suggested it, but I assure you I would NEVER in a million years have said it. Vows in front of god and man are serious and I'm not messing with that. I haven't obeyed anyone since I was a child and had no choice, and I'm not about to start now.
2007-11-25 04:15:26 · answer #5 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would never say obey, women are not servants to men, and I do not obey anyone, I have a brain in my head and know right from wrong, I do not take orders at all.
I like the idea of the father giving the daughter away, I think that is nice, it's like one caring man handing over a precious thing to another caring man and entrusting him to take care of his daughter.
2007-11-26 00:48:08 · answer #6 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did love honor and cherish, and I walked down the isle alone because I did not want to choose between my Dan and Step
Dad. If you ask the minister to show you the vows, they will and you can have the words changed to something appropriate for you, and unless the minister is like 60 the word obey is not likely included,
2007-11-25 05:00:20 · answer #7 · answered by MrsMagee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I won't be using obey in our vows. But my father will be giving me away. I am closest to my father and he has always been there for me. To me, it represents moving from his love and care to my new husbands love and care. I think it a sweet gesture and tradition that I plan to carry on.
2007-11-26 05:44:17 · answer #8 · answered by Dodger 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We decided to do traditional vows and I was leaning towards taking "obey" out of our vows, but my fiance has convinced me to keep it in. It is traditional and not the "obey" that we surmise it to mean these days (sort of like how santa in Australia is saying "ha ha ha" instead of "ho ho ho" this season, which I think is dumb).
My father has passed away so there will not be anyone giving me away. However, I think it is traditional and symbolic of the bride leaving her immediate family to create a new family with the groom. If my father were here, I would keep it in.
I think these decisions are highly personal and must be meaningful to you.
Wanting to keep to tradition, we are planning to keep obey in, but due to circumstance no one will be giving me away.
2007-11-25 10:37:34 · answer #9 · answered by nova_queen_28 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Miss Manners herself encourages couples to edit out the "obey" and "give away" parts. "Distasteful" is the word the Goddess of Correct Behavior uses to describe these out-dated portions of the traditional vows.
2007-11-25 11:41:44 · answer #10 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋