How do I handle this? The four kids I babysat have been taught by their dad that cussing and flipping people off is funny!! (Ages 4, and 3 yr. old twins). Seriously! I mean, these are loved kids - not abused or anything, but i'm wondering if it's right for me to discipline them for something they've been taught is ok. Someone has been (probably their grandparents) because they know that flipping someone off for example is a "bad word" and they spend the whole day yesterday saying "What the heck" and then "What the He**." It really bothers me because when we go out in public they tell people to f*$% off and also use the b-word. They of course get time-outs/spanks from me... but then I got to thinking, is this fair to them? How do I handle this? (Dad is NOT going to change, but mom is trying to be better about the cussing.)
2007-11-25 02:19:58 · 11 answers · asked by Angie 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
just ignore the kids when they do this stuff - they are trying to get a reaction out of you and the more you tell them not to do it.. the more they will want to do it..
set a good example yourself...
here is the thing - they need to learn that you can say and do stuff at home that you cannot say/do in public.. eg... you dont stand naked and pee in public (you do that at home).
tell them before you go for a walk and start saying stuff - you simply say "ok thats it we are going home" and DO IT... no second chances.. eventtually they will clue in that they dont get any fun time if they are like that...
in reality though - people swear..
swearing is not as bad as somethings.. sometimes people freak out about kids swearing and then let them get away with other worse behaviors - like being mean or selfish.
2007-11-25 02:31:12 · answer #1 · answered by CF_ 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
it's not a matter of whether it's fair or not. It's just about making sure your kids have manners, and are respectful. My husband curses like there's no tomorrow, but my 5 year old knows better than to say anything even remotely close to it. She gets after her father when he cusses. You need to have a serious talk with him and tell him it's NOT okay, and it's NOT funny to be teaching them those things, and then you need to come back and do some damage control while they're still young. After about the age of 7 or 8, it will probably be too late.
2007-11-25 02:58:39 · answer #2 · answered by jalvarez626 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not fair. We are supposed to teach our children by example. Children are amazing at mimicing us. It's tough for you, but there isn't really much you can do about this. I feel for the children though, because one day they're going to tell the wrong person to fcuk off, and they're going to get a punch in the mouth.
Not having both parents on board when it comes to child-rearing is one of the most detrimental things to our children nowadays. It sends such mixed signals. And when you bring a childcare provider into the mix, it makes it even worse when there's such disagreement between the parents and the caregiver.
2007-11-25 03:32:23 · answer #3 · answered by Shayna 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it is fair! You need the kids to realize that cussing is a bad thing. They are not going to learn unless you arn't going to tell them or punish them when they say a bad word(s) When they are around you tell them if they don't say anything bad for a week you can buy them something. Maybe rewarding them with something they like would teach them not to cuss.
2007-11-25 02:31:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would discipline them and try to convince dad to change his behavior. My parents tried really hard not to say words like that around me until I could understand what is bad and good. They realized it when I was 3 and I fell into a puddle of mud and went oh sh**! They stopped after that so tell them to watch themselves around the kids. Great question though!
2007-11-25 02:27:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh,yeah,eventhough the parents do it doesn't mean its right you're suppose to teach the kids right from wrong,and of course cussing is wrong.
2007-11-25 02:38:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you really can't do that if their parents are going to teach them this at home. You might consider getting some different kids, there seems to be a "values" disparity between you and this family.
2007-11-25 02:33:55 · answer #7 · answered by The Scorpion 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is fair as long as they know that when you are in charge, your rules apply, and they have all been told what the rules and punishments are. If they were allowed to swing from the chandeliers at home, would you let them do that at your house? Just tell them, "I know your dad lets you say these things, but I don't. When you are with me, you have to follow my rules."
2007-11-25 12:47:03 · answer #8 · answered by missbeans 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it isn't right for them to cuss, etc. Unfortunately they are learning by example. I would just tell them it is also wrong when their dad does it!
2007-11-25 02:46:21 · answer #9 · answered by Bears Mom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course it's fair - the parents need to grow up and curb their tongues around their children.
2007-11-25 02:24:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋