How can i get over him? please help...?

Question

Me and my boyfriend had been going out for 9months, last night i went out with my mates, and him with his. His mate told him that i have been selping with my ex. He started shouting and physically hurt me. The thing is i don't even keep in contact with my ex. I have been called all the names under the sun.I am so hurt. i need to get over him, because he ovioulsly is not the person who i thought he was. iam so down and i feel so insecure with my self. please give me some advice. thanks

Answer 1

he physically hurt you and he is not the person you thought you knew....

well, if he could behave that way because of what his mates told him, then he doesn't know the person you are.

go out with your mates and do things you like doing, each day you don't see him the less it will hurt. i cant make you stop feeling insecure, just know you are not the one with the problem and be confident in that and you will regain that sense of security.

Answer 2

It takes time to get over someone, even if you logically realize that they aren't good for you, the heart doesn't let go so easily. Time will help as well keeping busy and meeting new people. Now is the time to lean heavily on your friends, your family and supportive people.
Check out your local library for books on the subject matter of abusive relationships. It is quite possible that your x partner may have a serious personality disorder as these can be at the root of thier abuse. Even if he doesn't have a personality disorder, these two books can be insightful for anyone with an abusive partner.

Read excepts online for the following 2 books.

http://www.amazon.com/Breaking-Free-Boomerang-Love-Relationships/dp/0976060035/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1195989977&sr=1-1

and

http://www.amazon.com/Stop-Walking-Eggshells-Borderline-Personality/dp/157224108X/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1195990358&sr=1-1

Being armed with information can be enpowering as long as you don't get caught up in thinking you need to help, fix or save your partner! That is unhealthy and in your situation, given his violent nature, it is downright dangerous. Don't go back, no matter how hard it gets. Ask friends to help you stay strong in your resolve. Ask a few trusted friends if you can call them anytime you feel the desire to call him. KEEP BUSY and know that being in pain doesn't mean you are not doing the right thing. You are. It is just hard to do. Stay strong.

If you feel that your x partner is going to try and continue being abusive, TAKE LEGAL ACTION. You do not, nor should you, allow this type of behavior.

I hope this helps. Be safe. Be happy. You deserve both.

Answer 3

Unfortunately I have had an abusive ex and it is never easy...But getting over them requires love from friends and support. You did nothing wrong hunni, don't feel badly. Just show him he means nothing, by moving on and being the fabulous woman you know you are! That will show him, and it will make you feel better about yourself in the process.
HUGS to you!
If you need any advice, or support, just mail me!

Answer 4

spend some time crying and talking to someone. You could probably seek out a center for women that have been abused and go in and talk to someone. No one deserves to be treated like that, even if you slept with an army of men he doesn't have a right to hurt you.

Answer 5

break it off, and tell him how hurt you feel. tell him that if he really wanted your ex you would be with him not you

if he says i love you bla bla, dont believe it. no1 who loves you will hit you

9months is a LONG time, but there is obviously no trust. just avoid having a relationship for now so you can fully get over him. delete his number, msn etc.

Answer 6

ya just gotta move on. there'll be other guys to be sure...and no doubt a much better one for you.