I grew up with just my mom, i only met my dad once in court when i was about 4 or so , and he never tried to contact me when i was growing up. Im 21 now and i think i just found him- I think i have his phone number and adress- is it worth trying to get ahold of him? or should that be his job? If there are any fathers out there who dont know their children: would you want them to get ahold of you or would you rather that you were the one to find your child?
2007-11-24 21:20:53 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
(my mother left him before i was born because he was cheeting on her)
2007-11-24 21:30:40 · update #1
why do you have to ask anybody else, all you have to ask is yourself. Its all up to you, if you wanted to know him, ask questions, do so! sometimes there are questions in our minds that you really have to find answer to make yourswlf feel complete. Meeting your father doest mean you have to love him or forgive him, youll do it for yourself not for him. I think now that you have his contact number you should try to contact him.
2007-11-24 21:29:51 · answer #1 · answered by potpot 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you SURE he is your birth father or was he just married to your mom when you were born? Could be that is why he hasn't kept in touch. Could be the reason they split up too. If he really is your birth father though and has stayed away could it be because your mother insisted that he stay away because he didn't pay child support or something....maybe he was abusive. O.K. let's say he really is your father and no one told him to stay away.....then what have you got??? You got a man that doesn't have much capacity for love since he hasn't even made an attempt to see you in all these years. So, if you want to see what he looks like....then I would get a camera and go to his home or job, ask for him and when a man comes to the door and says he is "such and such"(your dad) then hurry up and take his picture. Then say, "I just wanted to see what you look like since you're my father and by the way, do you have any disease or anything I should know about health wise so I can be aware?" LOL
2007-11-25 05:30:21 · answer #2 · answered by Gottaloveher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As A Son who sought out my father at age 17 I can say it is worth it even if he is not what you may have envisioned of him. Because even though he had his faults I found that I did love him and knowing him help me to understand more about myself.
As A father I do have a son That due to circumstances beyond my control I am only able to send him gifts without ever seeing him or being able to talk to him.
I don't even know if he is really giving the gifts and cards to him or if they are how long they will continue to do so.
So my only hope and what carries me from day to day is the belief that one day he will come looking for me. and when he does I plan to make him proud of me. I have even left a message on my yahoo profile for him in that fateful day so he will see That I have never gave up on him.
This could be the case for your father but you never know unless you try.
2007-11-25 05:39:50 · answer #3 · answered by Mickeytopdog 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, you are old enough to live your life. Fathers do have a responsibility and will look for their children.I dunt really know the full story but maybe his time has not come yet. Meanwhile you should live your life and if your desire to contact him is strong, then you should take the initiative to call him and leave your contact to him so that he knows your whereabouts and you have done your duty as his child to contact your father. Take care and all the best! Pete
2007-11-25 05:35:13 · answer #4 · answered by yingyang 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that a father always has love for his children .and if you got in touch with him he will be over the moon .but not knowing what sort of restrictions are imposed on him .ie from his other family .
It isn't easy . not knowing the circumstances ..it could brake your heart if it went the other way . you have to have a open mind and don't expect to much , if you can do that then .
Go find him and say hallo dad , long time no see ...good luck
2007-11-25 06:17:23 · answer #5 · answered by JJ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps it will be better to have an intermediary to make the call for you and prepare the way for the two of you to speak. He most likely have a family and there is no way in knowing if they know you exist. He will need time to tell his family about you, so he has no problems with them and to be able to meet with you (or speak to you). Good luck.
2007-11-25 09:35:55 · answer #6 · answered by David G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take the steep and contact hi, you will lose nothing. You will continue think of him, you might think he is bad or good sometimes but by getting in touch with him you 'll know him as he is. He didn't take his responsibility yes, but be better than him and take this steep to show him it is worth it. don't think a lot about it life is too short and what is past we will never get it back.......that's my opinion, might be wrong but follow your instinct this time.
2007-11-25 05:39:40 · answer #7 · answered by binfrnas 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he hasnt made the effort to try and contact you then dont bother. he cheated on your mum and left her to deal with you. why should your dad now be part of your life when he hasnt even tried? i know that sounds selfish but he didnt give your mum and money to look after you and didnt give her and support!
2007-11-25 05:47:26 · answer #8 · answered by Hannah [x] 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a sad and tough question.I'm afraid this will be your choice. What is more important to you. Nobody should make the answer for you. Is that the reason your asking ? I wish you
well.
2007-11-25 05:32:37 · answer #9 · answered by Bob Dylan ♪ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go for it. some guys just dont want to bother with their kids growing up, or issues with mom keep them away. it really depends. if you got the address/phone number go for it, you don't know until you try right?
2007-11-25 05:26:12 · answer #10 · answered by Living In Fast Forward 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋