my 13 year old daughter is smoking?

Question

my 13 year old daughter has started smoking! i saw her outside last night with an empty pack and i always talk to her about it and she promises not to do it, but i do always see her when i go outside. When i was in my office downnstairs, i think she stole my pack of cigarettes from my purse and my lighter. Whenever i c it missing, i go to te store and buy more. i'm against spanking but i do always spank her but whenever she does it. I started smoking when i was 15 in the girls bathroom with a couple of my friends and had my daughter when i was 16. Now, she's addicted. What should i do?

DO NOT CALL MY DAUGHTER A HOE!! I LOVE HER AND I DO TELL HER THE DANGERS OF IT AND I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO QUIT

i know! I know i should quit, i know i'm the parent here, but it's hard. it does break my heart to see Chelsea do this. right now shes outside smoking with ther friend and she doesn't even care! I like smoking! I cant quit, i love it 2 much. i smoke in the house, in the car. Sometimes i do want to go outside and smoke with Chelsea, but i stop myself! i'm not a teen anymore and if she wants to keep smoking, i cant stop her buut before her friend came over i did have a talk with her about how i smoked everything and how i started when i was 15 and then i got high and got pregnant and told her the damages of smoking. she obviously doesn't care since shes out there, lighting another one as i see through my window. you know what, tomorrow, i am gonna buy the patch and everything for me to help me not smoke. and then throw out my cigarettes so then Chelsea won't smoke! I promise i'll do that tomorrow

Answer 1

First off, you should really stop smoking. If you continue to buy more cigarettes, she'll continue to steal them. After that, it's time for some tough love. Take away some privileges until she gets better and stops.

Answer 2

Daughter Smoking

Answer 3

This is an issue a lot of moms are facing. They initially blame themselves which isn't too far off the beam. Lots of kids develop habits because their parents have them. Rarely do you see kids who grow up in a home where a parent smokes not at least try it. What you need to do if you want her to quit is not leave your cigarettes laying around. Your providing the means. If you eliminate the how to get part, you start to limit the possibility. You shouldn't really want to smoke with your 13 year old daughter, sorry, its a little young. If she continues some how some way, you can't really do much, just try to explain the risks. Asthma, heart related issues, etc. Just start by eliminating the how to get the cigarettes part first...

Answer 4

LOCK UP YOUR CIGARETTES. Don't let her anywhere near them. Do it the same way you would a gun or whatever. Give her no access. Then start searching her room every time she isn't around. Throw away the pack without saying a word.
And do her a big favor: ground her for a week, making sure she is constantly supervised. This way, if it's become serious, she'll be forced to go a week without, so she won't be addicted. (she probably is not yet addicted -- it's probably just a phase where she's trying, but you don't want to take that chance!)
I'm sending you two BETTER advice than any of us couple possibly offer: one about teens quitting, and one about preventing teen smoking.
PS IF you think you could handle it, what I did with my own boys was we quit smoking together. but I have to tell you: they both smoke now, and I don't!

Answer 5

Simply put, if you continue to smoke, your telling your daughter not to smoke means nothing. Kids learn a lot by actions, and what she's seeing is you telling her one thing, but doing the exact opposite. It is not going to work.

Lots of people quit smoking (and much more addictive drugs) and if you want to show your daughter both how much you mean it and how /bad/ smoking ends up being, then you will go through this and let her see what it is like. Yes, it is going to be hard. Very hard. But for your own health, the health of your child, and your relationship with her, isn't it worth it?

Answer 6

Try and find ways to "show" her the real dangers involved with smoking. Maybe you can find some books or videos at the library. This is a real tough age, because of all the peer pressure. I am sure there are also websites that you could find that would show some detailed images of the long term effects due to smoking. It's likely that no matter how much you talk about the subject or punish the behavior is going to change the bad habit. Image is real important at this age as well, so maybe if she is shown what smoking can do to her image as well as her health it will help her to quit. You should also try to be supportive in ways to help her kick the craving.

Answer 7

Set the example!! If you want her to follow the right path you should quit smoking.
I know your an adult and those are the choices you made, but at the same time, kids are like sponges and think if it's ok for my mom, it must be ok for me!
You need to keep your health and you need to protect your daughters as well.
I would not get mad, but inform her that you are disappointed in her for sneaking your cigarettes.
You both need each other and you both should quit together. This will drive the point home.
Or if this does not seem possible for you, I would keep your cigarettes with you at all times. Good Luck

Answer 8

Talk her through it. Let her know that you know, and tell her that you want to help her quit. If you're willing, tell her that you would like to quit together, and then go through the steps--whether it's gum or patches or whatnot.
However, to be quite honest, she's not likely to want to stop. She might be doing it because she's overly stressed, or she might be doing it because she thinks it's cool, and she's might not be willing to stop. She'll probably even continue going behind your back to keep it up.
Don't spank her--she's too old for that kind of punishment. Instead, ground her or take computer, cell phone, or iPod privleges away from her, and inform the counselors and teachers at her school of what she's been doing. They can help keep an eye out for her.
She'll probably hate you for it right now--but it's very important for her to keep off of it at least until she's 18. Smoking is terrible for her lungs and body and she's still growing.

Answer 9

Take her personally to a cancer ward. Contact City of Hope or any facility in your area explain your situation and ask if you and your daughter could walk through the lung disease and cancer/ward. You see, I also started smoking as a teen and at that time my mom had been smoking for about 20 years and she was just fine. Today, more than 30 years later, my mom coughs up blood, she is often on oxygen and I have seen her not be able to breath-panicing ...freaking out...turning white......it is so horrible...I asked Jesus to take the smoking away from me...and praise His Holy Name...I no longer smoke...When I called on His name, He was kind and did for me what I could not do for myself...I had tried so hard to quit and over and over again I failed...I pray heavenly Father for my mom, this lady and her daughter to quit smoking, in Jesus' precious name; Amen and Amen. Call on Jesus!

Answer 10

Please do not get offended, but if you have been smoking for her whole life and she looks up to you what do you expect? She looks up to you as a role model. Best thing now to do for her is to get her to quit. There are a lot of quit smoking methods, the 2 of you as mother and daughter could do it together. Tell her you are disappointed in the fact that she lied, stole, and that she was smoking. If i were you i would look for other signs as well. I know alot of teens that smoke and usual that isnt all they do, sex, steeling, drugs, lies, so far she is smoking lying and steeling. Very serious situation. YOU must nip this in the bud! Good Luck!

Answer 11

you've probably heard everything already, and don't even think you will read this.............
My grandparents chain-smoked and my dad NEVER allowed it in the house. He never smoked either.
I have never smoked. I am 47.
My daughter was raised with her dad and HE smoked after our divorce., now SHE has smoked since 13.
She is now 24. Gets pleurisy every winter and there is a history of cancer in our family.
STOP HER NOWWWW, before you get there.
I pray to GOD she quits and gives me a Grandbaby SOON!!