what is the personality profile of an abusive husband?

Question

what is the personality profile of an abusive husband?
why do they abusive their wife but treat the others nicely?

Answer 1

its called time to get your self a man who appreciates you for what you are and treats you nice gives you Flowers and a massarge now and again i bet yore always arguing. the names i would give him are psycho skitso mad man.

Answer 2

Hi

They come in all shapes and sizes im afraid - you cant tell an abusive person just by looking at them or casually knowing them.

But, from my personal clinical experience, Men who abuse their wifes generally fit the following criteria;

When with their partner in a social situation with friends or other family, they are usually regular acting people and display affection towards their partner.

They have a 'short fuse' and get angry quickly and may loose composure and shout - look for the 'cower reaction' this is when the abuser shouts or rants, the partner and her children will go pale, retreat, shake and act scared - this is a classic sign.

Look for the partner or children of the abuser being over apologetic when they do something wrong or asking for excessive clarification when given an instruction by the abuser.

When you visit the persons house, you may see evidence of aggression - holes punched in doors and plaster walls, broken ornaments or mirrors etc...

They are usually very kind and friendly towards other people and especially children.

Its a complicated subject and I recomend you look in Psychology literature.

I hope this little snippet has helped - it's what I have observed personally in abusive relationships with children involved.

Answer 3

1.) Overly possessive.
2.) Easy to anger/quick to pass judgement.
3.) Keeps track of your whereabouts incessantly.
4.) Always blames you for making his life miserable.
5.) Tries to take control of your bank account.
6.) Verbally abuses you by letting you know you are less than him. Sometimes to the point were he says that you will not survive without him.
7.) Dishes out his opinions and doesn't follow them. (Hypocritical)
8.) Hits you because he believes it's for your own good.
9.) Calls you names constantly.
10.) Threatens to hurt you if you don't do as he says. Has a mentality of this quote, "If you are not with me, you are against me!"

An abusive husband who treats others nicely is putting up a front. He is not his true self before others. Abusive behaviour usually begins with a female such as his mother. If a man treats his mother shabbily, that is also a red flag of a abusive person.

Answer 4

Lundy Bancroft has an excellent book on this subject entitled, "Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men." Available in paperback at bookstores, online, or your library (Amazon readers give it 4.5. stars on Amazon's site with 135 of the 157 customer
reviews rating it a full 5). I'm familiar with this book and give it a full 5 as well. Amazon also has a "Search Inside" feature for this paperback so you can review some sections before you decide if you want to check it out from the library or purchase it.

Another author in this area is Patricia Evans. She has a few paperback books out on verbal abuse. Both of these authors also have websites you can find online by searching their names.

There are many other books on this subject; try searching Amazon or Barnes & Noble for the terms "verbal abuse," "physical abuse," or "domestic violence," or even "abusive husband." The online book search engines are very user friendly this way and will also offer similar subject choices.

You'll probably find this link helpful as a starting point in your online reading. It starts out defining abusive relationships, but the second link highlights the warning signs. It also provides a list of other resources:

http://www.recovery-man.com/abusive/abusive.htm

The great medical site, WebMD, also has a summary article on this subject:

http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/when-intimacy-turns-violent

Also, you didn't state if you were interested in info about verbal or physical abuse. Please know that almost every city has at least one shelter for women who experience abuse, and the majority of these shelters not only offer safe shelter for free, but also free counseling. They are highly confidential and welcome calls from women who suffer from either verbal or physical abuse.

Although I can't tell you why such husbands abuse their wives and treat others nicely, I can tell you it's a classic sign. The majority of the time no one else knows of the abuse unless the wife informs them. Many husbands not only abuse their wives but also their children, which is even more devastating because children cannot speak or act as adults and are often left with severe scars from the experience. Lundy Bancroft addresses this in a specific book, When Dad Hurts Mom.

Answer 5

They come in all kinds. They tend to be good at hiding these tendencies in front of people. It's not uncommon for them to seem like the "nicest guys" sometimes. They are very good at being manipulative and making you really, truly believe they are so sorry and will never do it again and blah blah blah. However, it only gets worse the longer she stays with the jerk. The most dangerous time for the woman is when she tries to leave so that needs to be handled with the utmost care. This is a really good website:
http://www.recovery-man.com/abusive/abusive_signs.htm
Also, research the topic- just google it and you'll get lots of information.

Answer 6

Mostly what you would see is a very controlling person; He wouldn't like his wifes friends to come over, or call, or have his wife go somewhere without him knowing it. Or if she did, he would call and check up on her constantly. Abusive husbands typically try to isolate their victims.
Hope this helps in some way.

Answer 7

it dosent come down to husband only catagory im afraid,we have brothers,sisters,best freinds,mothers,fathers,all walks of life,these people are nasty inside,cruel,spiteful,vindictive,set of wicked "*astards" and most of them have the talent to show to the world just how nice and sweet they are,and even turn people against you,but one thing is for certain they all get found out eventualy,and if you or a freind are in this situation,then get shut or get hurt,i can usualy spot one of these phonies within the first half hour of meeting one,but then again darling ive seen all sorts of cruelty at first hand,and because the wife or whoever allows it they get away with it.i myself cannot "*ucking" bear these low lifes no one should have to put up with them.

Answer 8

yes they come accross as aperfect gentleman to others, they may even give the impression that they are ashamed of their wives behaviour. They will be generous to others and often keep the wife in near povety not allowing her an extra pound in her purse.

Answer 9

YES!!! Every single nice quiet guy I have met has turned out to be some kind of creep.

Answer 10

insecure cowards, they put up a public front but act differently in private, just like bullies they are childish, immature, non-caring about anyone but themselves, tend to control freaks

it could also be that he uses drugs and they are messing him up