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I posted this under R&S, but it might be better under Ettiquite? I'll try it here, too.

There is this lady who works at my mother's apartment complex. She is part of the maintenace staff. She is very sweet and and is extremely helpful to my mom. She's very friendly, and we talk regularly. As someone who celebrares Christmas, every year I bake goodies, or wrap little Christmas candles to give to casual acquaintences, such as neighbors, the postman, etc. This year I had planned to give a gift like this to each of my mom's maintenance staff. However, yesterday, in casual conversation I found out that this one woman is Jehovah's Witness. That's OK with me as I have NO bias whatsoever. However, my question is: Is it appropriate or in-appropriate to go ahead and give her this little rememberance? If it's not appropriate, should I scrap the idea of giving them to any of the maintenance staff? I would hate to give everybody something but her. But I don't want to commit

2007-11-24 16:21:28 · 21 answers · asked by kj 7 in Society & Culture Etiquette

21 answers

It is a good idea to give homemade gifts to everyone on the maintenance staff.
Since there are so many different religions, and you cannot ask everyone if they celebrate Christmas or not, you can give the gifts as "holiday" gifts and "thank-you" gifts to show your appreciation of them.
Everyone likes to be appreciated!

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2007-11-24 16:28:58 · answer #1 · answered by Lu 5 · 0 0

She would not take it as a Christmas gift, but she may accept it as a gift from the heart. I think you should ask her. You should also tell her that you will be giving them to the rest of the staff. Jehovah's Witnesses are not ones to take gifts for events, though, so do not be concerned if she declines - though she will appreciate the offer, I am sure. Perhaps another time of year she would, but things that other people celebrate and even birthdays are not accepted, typically. There is no reason to exclude the other maintenance staff!!!

2016-04-05 07:53:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

To save embarressment or awkwardness then give her something after Christmas. She will know you mean well and it will demonstrate your respect for her beliefs.
Respect is the key issue here and if you really like her then just give her something maybe a couple of days after Christmas just as a friendly thing to do but not in the guise of it being about Christmas. Be better to do something during the normal rest of the year that would have the biggest suprise instead of just under a short seasonal compulsion.

Her faith means she rejects the worldly holiday of Christmas so maybe you should be kindest and peacefully let her keep to her faith.

2007-11-24 16:25:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Just tell her that she is a very important part of your life and that you respect her religion enough not to violate one of it's most sacred rules. You can even ask her if she accepts presents, just be sure not to give her one without talking to her. Even try making something for the whole staff, so she doesn't have to take anything without people knowing. Saves her some embarresment. I used to have a friend who was a JW and she couldn't stay in the room if our company was watching any sort of video on a holiday. She missed work on Holidays, too. SHe became VERY insicure if someone handed her a present, and i felt badly for her.

Good luck, let her know that you appriciate her!
=]

2007-11-24 16:24:01 · answer #4 · answered by emilyy:) 3 · 1 0

Based on the JW's I've known, it isn't just that I don't celebrate Christmas. They are offended by it.

My daughter's birthday is near Christmas, but I didn't want to have a birthday party or a Christmas party (for reasons I won't go into). I planned a Tea Party (she was turning four) and invited her little friends at dancing school. The two JW mothers kept asking me if it was a Christmas party. I kept saying it was a bloody tea party - not a Christmas party. They were essentially grilling me on whether there were Christmas decorations in the house and trying to figure out what kind of party I was having. Finally I got fed up and said, "Its a tea party. If you want to bring your daughters I'd like to have them. If you don't want to come don't come."

My point is they are pretty rigid about their No-Christmas rule - to the point where they wouldn't allow their four-year-old to attend a tea party that was neither a Christmas nor birthday party.

2007-11-24 18:54:52 · answer #5 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 1 0

Maybe give her something like cookies or candy that's put in just a regular brown bag or baggie and just say you were thinking she would like a treat or whatever. It's mostly the presentation of a decorated chritmas bag or ribbons that would bother her. (i think) It's hard to tell, all of them use their own judgement when it comes to that stuff. She won't be offended either way. Most likely she'll say "thanks for the thought but....." Don't worry too much about it!

2007-11-24 16:30:03 · answer #6 · answered by kirk 3 · 0 0

There was a boy in my grade one year who was a Jehovah Witness and he wasn't allowed to say the pledge of allegiance. I don't think it would be too bad if you gave her somthing but not as a Christmas present, as a "thank you for being great to me" gift.

2007-11-24 16:32:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Do not say it is for Christmas as JW do not celebrate the birth of Christ. Say it as a token of my appreciation. JW mailmen do not have a problem accepting gifts from their customers at Christmas time, although they do not receive them on Christmas day because the PO is closed that day.

2007-11-24 16:30:46 · answer #8 · answered by Michelle B 2 · 0 0

I would not even think twice about it. You are doing it with good intentions and it is a lovely gesture. If someone is offended by a sweet gesture they have issues. I think it shows what a thoughtful and giving person you are and I would not even add a disclaimer. Just simply say "this is for you and enjoy". Good luck

2007-11-24 17:21:10 · answer #9 · answered by feeona 5 · 1 0

I would give her something but make sure it isn't a Christmas present. Give her an appreciation gift. Put in a card that says "In appreciation of all the hard work you've done this year, please accept this gift." When you give it to her, tell her you respect her religion, and that it isn't a Christmas present, but you didn't want her to feel left out and you wanted her to know she is appreciated.

2007-11-24 16:26:35 · answer #10 · answered by Cindy H 5 · 0 0

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