Relationships: do they stay exciting?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. I have known him for 7 years. He is a great guy and I love him a lot, however, I find myself questioning out relationship every now any then. We never have dates or go out. I am 22 and still want the excitement and spark. I want our relationship to be exciting like it used to be. I know he is stressed with work and money, but this has been the case for about a year and a half now. We don't live together, but sleep together every night. Usually I just see him for 30 mins to an hour each night. It just isn't as exciting as it used to be. I love him a lot, but is it normal for a relationship to get like this after awhile? I used to want to marry him and I still do...but I want to feel special again. I need advice. Am I wasting my time or is this just a phase? I really don't want it to be over with us but I want the excitement back. Anyone that is married or have been in a relationship for several years, I am really looking for your response! ty!

Basically, he is my "go to" person and I love being excited to tell him stuff when it happens, etc. but, I guess my real question here is: Am I just "used to" something? or is there hope?

Answer 1

Try asking him out on a date. Take him to a dinner and movie. It sounds boring and ordinary but you will have fun and be able to relax in each other's company. He probably needs to relax a little bit as well so you should take the first move and see how he reacts to you making him dinner or asking him out. If he says he does not want to then go with someone else, he will come around.

Answer 2

Have you tried asking him out? What does he say? If you want to go out - go out with your firends, have a good time. It's up to him to decide if he wants to join you, or let you go alone. Could be that while you really love this guy, and he really loves you - that you have different long term desires in life and how to live it. Who knows, you may even find someone else while out with your friend that provides you that spark & excitement.

Please understand - I am NOT telling you to dump him. But please live your life! You are 22! You only have this time once!

I'm older - my wife and I have been together nearly half of our lives. Sure, after a while some of the spark and excitement has worn off. At the same time, I know she loves me and I love her. We compromise on some of our disagreements, but we also know that we can always count on one another.

If you want some of the excitement back -- why not take the lead and plan a weekend getaway. Pack your bag and tell him what he should pack. And then don't tell him anything else but when you'll be picking him up & when he can expect to get home. Make things happen. If he won't follow along, then I think you've got the answer you weren't hoping to get.