I made it through the high school years with raciest parents and being in a white school it did not really affect me.But I'm in college now and I date boys of all races and do not care.The only thing I care about is that they are in college, could care less about their color.My dad does not approve and I just do not bring it up.But when a guy calls me the the first words out of my dad's mouth are is he black? that angers me. I go can I have friends come over, and he goes only if they are white. I watch videos on MTV and he goes you better find a normal boy.I calmly tried to explain my views and i just can not agree with his hatred. He forbids me to date anyone not white. I don't know what to do!
2007-11-24 15:21:18 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I currently go away to school, so I dont have to deal with this everyday, but for the holidays i do. And break is coming up. I am currently semiserious with someone and it would be nice to have him visit, but I dont think that is an option.
2007-11-24 15:40:24 · update #1
I also understand it is his house, so I wont bring blacks over. But as for his little comments, they are crazy. I have asked what is the problem if i dated a college boy who interned for a major company, and has a nice family? He goes I dont want you living a social experiment! I have also called him a racist, and he said there is no problem being a racist. Then goes into stats about blacks in prison. Its just crazy!
2007-11-24 15:44:01 · update #2
and may I also mention I live in NJ where there is alot of diversity, so to not even allow people of other races as friends bad!!!
2007-11-24 15:53:04 · update #3
You have two choices.
1) Go along with their wishes until you get through school and can live your own life.
2) Stop accepting their support and stand on your own two feet financially.
You will only be in college for a few years. I strongly suggest you put your nose to the grindstone, work hard, get the best grades and get a really good job. If you are doing that, you really don't have much time for boys anyway, black, white or whatever.
Good luck and best wishes.
BTW, do they still show videos on MTV? lol
2007-11-24 15:28:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is so sad that racism has reared its ugly head in your home. Sadly, as long as you live under your parents roof, you have to abide by their rules about who you welcome home to the dinner table. But what you do away from home is your choice. You are now an adult and can choose your dates. Unfortunately, there may not be anything you can do about the situation until you move out. Thank goodness your parents prejudices have not transferred to you. What you can do is to respectfully inform your parents that you will not listen to degrading comments about a persons race and you will not answer degrading questions. You may have to spend more time in your room or on campus until you can find other accommodations.
2007-11-24 15:32:53 · answer #2 · answered by jules 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's your father, and I presume paying the bills. When you graduate, have a job and your own money, there's nothing that he can do.
Have you ever sat down with him and had a calm, serious, rational conversation about this? He is your father after all, and I'm sure he has your best interests at heart. Why are you so pig-headed about this? Try to see things his way for a change, and he just might later come around.
Good luck
2007-11-24 15:30:16 · answer #3 · answered by Alberich 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is not much one can say to a young headstrong girl( not a woman) who shows an attitude. You feel you are right, that the parents are dinosaurs who don't understand life and have not lived it. Maybe they have had experiences or know of friends who have "race dated " and seen unpleasant results. You are aware that mixed marriages are not in vogue, even today, in a more permissive society. One son told me " You know ,Dad ! The older I get the more I realize how smart you are" Most of us haven't gained in intelligence, we have been through the "experience mill", commonly known as " the School of Hard Knocks".
2007-11-24 15:42:21 · answer #4 · answered by googie 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you need not worry what your paren'ts think, if they stop being in your life because of your decision they arent good parents to begin with. You have to decide for yourself who you are going to be not what others would define you to be. You are old enough to make your own decisions and live your own life. If they don't like it they can either live with it or move on. You may find that the person you end up falling for might have parents that will give you a healthier stronger bond then your parents, or your parents my one day see the error of their ways and come around. The point is you are your own person and you have to choose who are and what you will allow to effect your path in life!
2007-11-24 15:27:30 · answer #5 · answered by the_last_knight_69 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
He may be racist but he's probably looking out for your best interest, 67 percent of black men commit a sexually based crime, and those are the ones that get caught. That number is so bad it seems to be unreal.
2007-11-28 12:01:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have the same problem! i am goin out wit a mixed boy and my mom hates it! your parents grew up in a time where that was forbidden and that is all they know. it is soo different now of days because there is not as much racism in this decade. but just do what you do and if your parents dont agree then forget them!
2007-11-24 15:29:35 · answer #7 · answered by brunettbabi 2 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You don't have to believe how they do, but if you live in their home, you need to respect their rules or get a dorm or something. No matter what it is their home.
2007-11-24 15:36:05 · answer #8 · answered by Trea (pron.tree) 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋