My 8 yr old daughter just confessed that she want some cool clothes to fit in with the girls at school.....?

Question

What do I do....I have the $$ to get her some stuff, but I know that doesn't always make a difference, how do I convey that shes beautiful and funny, and doesn't need the "cloths" although I'd really like to get them for her.....Help! And if I did get her some....I have NO sense of style....I wouldn't even know where to start.....

You all are awesome! She's sooo funny, blonde hair, blue eyes, but when she gets with other girls you can tell she's akward, she's trying to be someone she's not.....and I don't know how to tell her to stop....in 10 yrs or so, it won't make a shi*en bit of difference...but it seems SO BIG now, but when you look back at it...it was such a tiny part of your life.....can you convey that or is it just life........

Answer 1

Take her shopping. Even though it's not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, it IS a big deal for her now. She obviously shouldn't place a great deal of importance on clothing, but if she WANTS cooler clothes, I don't see why she shouldn't get them. Looking back, I could have killed my mom for allowing me to wear hot pink socks and pants that were too short in middle school. :) You said yourself that you have no sense of style, so maybe she DOES stick out a bit more than she'd like as a result (no offense). Just be sure to let her know that she's awesome exactly how she is and continue to instill a sense of self confidence that comes from within.

Answer 2

Take her shopping. Kids can be cruel. Sometimes they single out the kids that don't have the "in" clothes and make fun of them. I would stress to your daughter that she is a great person,but I don't think I would try to overly praise your daughter. Kids are smart. Sometimes if you keep pointing out all their good attributes,they get the idea that you have to say those things and that there really is something wrong with the way they look. Give her a dollar limit and help her wisely spend her money. Make it fun and let her experiment a bit with style. My son is 10 and he knows which brands he likes and the look he is after. He also knows he has to pick wisely because we are on a budget. I'm sure your daughter already has an idea of what she would like. Have fun with it!

Answer 3

I can so relate!! I also have an eight year old daughter and until this year (3rd grade), she really did not care about clothes or "being cool". This year, we have actually bought a lot of her clothing at Target--really cute stuff, not too expensive, you say $$ isn't an issue, but I don't have to tell you how fast they grow and how fickle girls can be. We have jeans, lots of layered type shirts, plaid pants with jersey type shirts, track suits. Pirate themed items are very big with her and her friends, too. I have always talked to my girl about how clothes express your personality and you shouldn't wear stuff just because someone else does, but the truth is girls that age do care about what others think and although you tell her she's beautiful and funny, she wants her friends to see her as beautiful and funny, too. Old Navy has great sales, too. We do have rules about things she cannot wear, no belly shirts or pants that you can see your underwear, or shoes with heels, items that are "too grown-up". Have fun shopping!

Answer 4

I have a 7 year old daughter, and I know the "in" clothes are Hannah Montana and High School Musical. Plus, if she's anything like my daughter, she will already have in mind what she wants to get! HAHAHA!!! If you have the money, I would say go for it. A few clothes aren't going to make her change who she is and what she believes in. It's just going to help boost her spirits some. I would start with a few tops and maybe a pair of pants, don't go overboard... see how it goes and go from there. Good luck!

Answer 5

shes at a time in her life when peer pressure starts to sink in. you should probably talk with her about the situation reassure her shes beautiful just the way she is and ask her why she thinks it is so important to fit in...then maybe you should buy her a couple of new outfits to boost her confidence. but if you go overboard she'll expect new clothes from you all the time...if thats the case you might want to try to give her "jobs" to do around the house for an allowance so she can earn and save her own money for a new wardrobe.

Answer 6

Take her shopping and let her decide on two or three things. She knows what the other kids are wearing, so she'll know what to select. Set a firm limit on not more than three things. It's important for her to learn that she cannot always have everything she wants, but she can have some things. It's the old "half a loaf is better than none" approach.

Answer 7

Maybe go with her and pick out a special item or two, but don't go buy a whole new wardrobe...don't worry about your sense of style, she'll tell you what's 'cool'. :)

Also, give her greater input on her choices when she does get new clothes from now on - she's starting to express a preference, so as long as the clothes are appropriate, why not encourage it? :)

Answer 8

Let her get some just because you love her. Don't go overboard on the price and let her help you pick. Make sure it is age appropriate.You don't have to get her a lot. Just something. She doesn't want to always be an "outsider" but still she knows that she is an individual too.

Answer 9

at 10 she should have anidea of what is "in" at the moment. I tell my daughter she doesn't have to be the same as everyone else but at the same time she doesn't have to be that different. Just get her one or two outfits to wear as well as her normal clothes

Answer 10

The pressure is on....

Don't start, it doesn't ever stop. If you can get away with saying "clothes don't make the man" (or girl) then do it. My wife, unfortunately, bowed into this cycle a few years ago and we've been paying, and paying ever since.