Parents, what is the best way to discipline your children. when they do wrong, when they do something right?

Question

I have 3 growing up children, a boy and 2 girls

Answer 1

Don't hit 'em, or else they learn that violence is acceptable.

When doing something wrong, best to explain (to whatever degree they can understand) what they did wrong and why. Separating them in their room when at home works well, just make sure you are not checking in on them all the time or that defeats the purpose of time out. You want to use more time in time out the older they get. I heard one guideline of one minute per year of age; not sure I agree with that, but that's one guideline.

Praise kids when they do right.

Never insult your kid or call them names ("bad boy" or worse). It's their behavior that's bad, not the kid themselves.

When kids get older, ask them what they think a fair punishment would be. If they aren't keeping up with their required tasks at home (cleaning up room, feeding pets, taking out trash) ask them to work with you to establish house rules as opposed to telling them what the rules are. They will be more invested in following rules if they have a hand in making them.

Lots of parents mistakenly believe that kids will not want to take much responsibility for chores if they have a hand in setting up household rules but I can tell you that's not true at all.

Whatever you do, take a parenting class with your parenting partner (if you have one) and try to come to mutual decisions so you support each other in parenting.

Answer 2

You can NOT be best friends with your children... you can be their ally, but not a friend.

Set the standards and enforce them equally.
Everyone has to pick up after themselves, and everyone has at least one chore to do to help maintain the house. Everyone has to go to school and do their best.

You have to be the parent, which means you must use every method at your disposal to instill the values in your children that will help them to be successful in life. They cannot navigate our society without morals, ethics, responsibility and respect.

If that means instilling respect by means of a well aimed slap on the face or a doubled-up belt across their behinds, then so be it. If you have to take away prized possessions (computer, I-pod, video game), or ground them, that is fine. You do what you must to get the point across. Try to keep in mind this phrase: "what would have gotten through to me at this age?"
Squash any insurrections quickly. You are the authority figure.

Be lavish with praise. Keep them long on hugs and short on money.